Would you please allow me to digress?
It's Mental health Wednesday - a theme I started after my most recent breakdown. For the past month I have been sharing about self care, saging your space and protecting your mind. It's been eye opening and liberating for me. I have seen a number of fellow bloggers share their own mental health journeys.
From celebrities to the average Joe, more people are opening the discussion about mental health. I recall watching Necole Kane (XONecole), Kerri Hilson and other panelists discuss about depression. In the midst of the heartbreak, I felt unashamed to share my own experiences. It's been bittersweet. But Nina Simone summoned artistes to use their voice for the times. So as a writer, poet, and storyteller, I am obliged to share my story, and give testimony to my journey.
I have been vulnerable. Allowed many of you to enter my personal space, that is my mind. In that I also discerned my true friends, and those whose season is over. The journey to healing requires a non judgemental support system. Just because you suffer from a mental health illness and receiving treatment for it, doesn't make you a plague to be avoided. You need those who will check up on you. A support system that doesn't leave you by yourself for too long. You need people who will listen to you - acting as human journals. You need to be encouraged to live your best life.
But today I am going to pull out my straight shooter self. That no nonsense, opinionated individual that few like, but many respect. Yes, that Lady E.
A fellow July baby, MTV Base VJ and model, Kim Jayde Robinson, celebrated her birthday. Miss Robinson alongside Gilmore Tee Moyo, made it onto the 2019 Forbes 30 under 30 list. A dream beyond come true for the Bulawayo native, currently based in South Africa. She was in the USA for the Essence Festival and IRL, is enjoying Tomorrowland. She is living her best life!
She shared in a post-birthday post on IG about being celebrated. She always shares that growing up she didn't fit in and was bullied. I relate to that story. However, from the outside me thinks, but you are so pretty. How did you not fit in? Added advantage is your ethnicity, coloured girls are usually highly favoured on the dating and looks totem pole. But I haven't heard everything. Maybe one of these days, I should book a one-on-one with her for the full story.
Kim Jayde now rolls with the who's who of African and international celebville. At her party this year, she was joined by Moozlie and Da Les (a fellow July baby), amongst others. And yes, she got the birthday wishes and gifts. Then she got me thinking, 'You ain't shit!'
When we were growing up, there were family members, or friends, neighbours or school mates that we put on a pedestal. We craved to be their friends, date them or receive their approval. Ever wanted to meet your favourite celebrity, and the opportunity comes? You are so excited that you are finally going to meet your idol, and take a selfie with them. Partly because selfies are the new autographs. Well, you meet your hero and they are the actual anticlimax of your fantasies. Well, they ain't shit! You are an adult now! You check out all those who used to make you feel little or that you felt insignificant to, and you think, wtf! Please remind me why did I feel intimidated by this person? Why in the hell did I have a crush on this human being? Then you slap yourself and in your Buchi voice you say, "Father I was a fool, (insert timeline) _____ years ago!"
And you have realised, "Munhu uya/Vanhu vaye, havana dhiri!" Literal translation, they ain't shit!
Part of my unhappiness and depression emanated from not fitting in. I didn't fit in with my family. I didn't fit in at school, mostly high school. I didn't fit into the community that I was growing up in. I was often a loner, with only my paintbrushes, books and radio as company. I wrote a lot of poetry, songs, journals and read the dictionary for fun. But senior year of high school came with a plot twist.
I befriended outcasts. 'Teenage Dirtbag' would have been our theme song. We were not a clique but we clicked. These individuals were for one reason or another, not famous with the in crowd. Like me, they were loners, just confident and more verbal than myself. I loved it! I somewhat belonged without trying. We saw life beyond high school and the juvenile social life. We were about making that bag and being history makers. Damn!
And fourteen years later, guess what, we ain't shit! (Laughs) But it's okay!
I am laughing as I write this blog because of an epiphany. Our obsession with being part of some group can rob us of our own sense of self. Human beings never stop evolving. Who I was five years ago, won't be the person that I will be next year. Some of my extracurricular activities have changed. In high school I was an introvert, in 2019 I'm an ambivert. I turn into Sasha Fierce when I am performing poetry, or just dancing at Unplugged. So why do we spend so much time trying to be liked or fit in with individuals who don't even know themselves?
In perspective, media and entertainment are one of the most pretentious industries to work in. If you are not careful you could get sucked in and lost in the sunken place. The same applies to the whole 'slay queen/king' lifestyle - phony. Yet, many crave to be part of those particular circles. So, what do you tell an impressionable teenager or young adult who so badly wants to be part of the popular crew? Like an angel on their shoulder, you slowly whisper, 'They ain't shit!'
Animals move in groups because there's power in numbers. Alone, they are weak and vulnerable. Ever wondered why the in-crowd is often a group? From a psychological standpoint, individually, those people have insecurities. So the in-crowd, or popular circle are individuals with insecurities often masked by moving in a group.
Mask off!
As you spend time alone, you come to realise your uniqueness. You actually embrace your weirdness and quirks. You choose not to be swayed by mob psychology when it comes to decisions and opinions. You choose to do what is right for you. Simple! So what you ain't the shit, that's okay! You are still a diamond that's waiting to blind the world with your brilliance. Shine!
After following Pastor Mike Todd's sermon series, 'Marked', I am glad that I don't fit in. And don't desire to. My purpose is to live my best life as myself, according to my gifts and unique personality. My circle is filled with outcasts, loners and those who can't be boxed! They are actually doing disruptive things, and making impact. They might not be on the Forbes list, or mingle with the who's who, but they are leaving footprints. I am here to chronicle those achievements; that's my calling!
For all the times that you wanted to fit in, those people ain't shit!... Havana dhiri! As an individual, in all your glory, you ain't shit!...Hauna dhiri! Even as I am typing behind this screen, I ain't shit!...Handina dhiri!
Do you know what really matters? Who you are to yourself! If you like yourself and your own company, then you are good. If you meet others like yourself, embrace them and enjoy your eccentric, eclectic, outlandish, insane and loud, or quiet, selves.
For my one-on-one with Kim Jayde, I would say, "You are enough for yourself - that's your validation. You don't need famous friends to feel appreciated. Look at how far you have come. Even if you celebrated your birthday all by yourself, it would still have been fabulous...because you already are fabulous!"
I will quote the high priestess, queen Bey, "Me, myself and I that's all I got to the end!"
Now that's the shit!
Now, I am going to wash my potty mouth with a glass of red wine...
...That's what you do when you stop giving a shit! (Wink!)
'Gone are the days
For they are so long gone
I found myself
I love myself
I don’t need anybody
I can be everybody
Gone are the days.' - Eloya Somaine
P.S. Always write your own love story!
Ciao!
Lady E
From celebrities to the average Joe, more people are opening the discussion about mental health. I recall watching Necole Kane (XONecole), Kerri Hilson and other panelists discuss about depression. In the midst of the heartbreak, I felt unashamed to share my own experiences. It's been bittersweet. But Nina Simone summoned artistes to use their voice for the times. So as a writer, poet, and storyteller, I am obliged to share my story, and give testimony to my journey.
It's an artist's duty to reflect the times in which we live. -Nina Simone
I have been vulnerable. Allowed many of you to enter my personal space, that is my mind. In that I also discerned my true friends, and those whose season is over. The journey to healing requires a non judgemental support system. Just because you suffer from a mental health illness and receiving treatment for it, doesn't make you a plague to be avoided. You need those who will check up on you. A support system that doesn't leave you by yourself for too long. You need people who will listen to you - acting as human journals. You need to be encouraged to live your best life.
But today I am going to pull out my straight shooter self. That no nonsense, opinionated individual that few like, but many respect. Yes, that Lady E.
A fellow July baby, MTV Base VJ and model, Kim Jayde Robinson, celebrated her birthday. Miss Robinson alongside Gilmore Tee Moyo, made it onto the 2019 Forbes 30 under 30 list. A dream beyond come true for the Bulawayo native, currently based in South Africa. She was in the USA for the Essence Festival and IRL, is enjoying Tomorrowland. She is living her best life!
She shared in a post-birthday post on IG about being celebrated. She always shares that growing up she didn't fit in and was bullied. I relate to that story. However, from the outside me thinks, but you are so pretty. How did you not fit in? Added advantage is your ethnicity, coloured girls are usually highly favoured on the dating and looks totem pole. But I haven't heard everything. Maybe one of these days, I should book a one-on-one with her for the full story.
Kim Jayde now rolls with the who's who of African and international celebville. At her party this year, she was joined by Moozlie and Da Les (a fellow July baby), amongst others. And yes, she got the birthday wishes and gifts. Then she got me thinking, 'You ain't shit!'
When we were growing up, there were family members, or friends, neighbours or school mates that we put on a pedestal. We craved to be their friends, date them or receive their approval. Ever wanted to meet your favourite celebrity, and the opportunity comes? You are so excited that you are finally going to meet your idol, and take a selfie with them. Partly because selfies are the new autographs. Well, you meet your hero and they are the actual anticlimax of your fantasies. Well, they ain't shit! You are an adult now! You check out all those who used to make you feel little or that you felt insignificant to, and you think, wtf! Please remind me why did I feel intimidated by this person? Why in the hell did I have a crush on this human being? Then you slap yourself and in your Buchi voice you say, "Father I was a fool, (insert timeline) _____ years ago!"
And you have realised, "Munhu uya/Vanhu vaye, havana dhiri!" Literal translation, they ain't shit!
Part of my unhappiness and depression emanated from not fitting in. I didn't fit in with my family. I didn't fit in at school, mostly high school. I didn't fit into the community that I was growing up in. I was often a loner, with only my paintbrushes, books and radio as company. I wrote a lot of poetry, songs, journals and read the dictionary for fun. But senior year of high school came with a plot twist.
I befriended outcasts. 'Teenage Dirtbag' would have been our theme song. We were not a clique but we clicked. These individuals were for one reason or another, not famous with the in crowd. Like me, they were loners, just confident and more verbal than myself. I loved it! I somewhat belonged without trying. We saw life beyond high school and the juvenile social life. We were about making that bag and being history makers. Damn!
And fourteen years later, guess what, we ain't shit! (Laughs) But it's okay!
I am laughing as I write this blog because of an epiphany. Our obsession with being part of some group can rob us of our own sense of self. Human beings never stop evolving. Who I was five years ago, won't be the person that I will be next year. Some of my extracurricular activities have changed. In high school I was an introvert, in 2019 I'm an ambivert. I turn into Sasha Fierce when I am performing poetry, or just dancing at Unplugged. So why do we spend so much time trying to be liked or fit in with individuals who don't even know themselves?
In perspective, media and entertainment are one of the most pretentious industries to work in. If you are not careful you could get sucked in and lost in the sunken place. The same applies to the whole 'slay queen/king' lifestyle - phony. Yet, many crave to be part of those particular circles. So, what do you tell an impressionable teenager or young adult who so badly wants to be part of the popular crew? Like an angel on their shoulder, you slowly whisper, 'They ain't shit!'
Animals move in groups because there's power in numbers. Alone, they are weak and vulnerable. Ever wondered why the in-crowd is often a group? From a psychological standpoint, individually, those people have insecurities. So the in-crowd, or popular circle are individuals with insecurities often masked by moving in a group.
Mask off!
As you spend time alone, you come to realise your uniqueness. You actually embrace your weirdness and quirks. You choose not to be swayed by mob psychology when it comes to decisions and opinions. You choose to do what is right for you. Simple! So what you ain't the shit, that's okay! You are still a diamond that's waiting to blind the world with your brilliance. Shine!
After following Pastor Mike Todd's sermon series, 'Marked', I am glad that I don't fit in. And don't desire to. My purpose is to live my best life as myself, according to my gifts and unique personality. My circle is filled with outcasts, loners and those who can't be boxed! They are actually doing disruptive things, and making impact. They might not be on the Forbes list, or mingle with the who's who, but they are leaving footprints. I am here to chronicle those achievements; that's my calling!
For all the times that you wanted to fit in, those people ain't shit!... Havana dhiri! As an individual, in all your glory, you ain't shit!...Hauna dhiri! Even as I am typing behind this screen, I ain't shit!...Handina dhiri!
Do you know what really matters? Who you are to yourself! If you like yourself and your own company, then you are good. If you meet others like yourself, embrace them and enjoy your eccentric, eclectic, outlandish, insane and loud, or quiet, selves.
For my one-on-one with Kim Jayde, I would say, "You are enough for yourself - that's your validation. You don't need famous friends to feel appreciated. Look at how far you have come. Even if you celebrated your birthday all by yourself, it would still have been fabulous...because you already are fabulous!"
I will quote the high priestess, queen Bey, "Me, myself and I that's all I got to the end!"
Now that's the shit!
Now, I am going to wash my potty mouth with a glass of red wine...
...That's what you do when you stop giving a shit! (Wink!)
'Gone are the days
For they are so long gone
I found myself
I love myself
I don’t need anybody
I can be everybody
Gone are the days.' - Eloya Somaine
P.S. Always write your own love story!
Ciao!
Lady E
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