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Drawing The Line To Realign

Mental illness doesn't earn you cool points neither is it a trending hashtag...



1 in 4 people will suffer from a neurological or mental illness in their lifetime. We are all part of a statistic! The current focus is on mental health due to the changes in socio-economic environments globally. The increased rates of suicide are alarming hence shifting focus to the mind. Pop culture has always subtly focused on mental health. Unfortunately, it hasn't always been in a way to assist affected individuals. In episode nineteen of Grown-ish, Diggy Simmons' character, Doug, shares his sentiments about mental health. He states that a lot of rappers have glamourised mental illness. This brings on the challenge of differentiating between individuals suffering from mental illness and those who just do it for attention.

In a previous post, I shared about fellow bloggers sharing their mental health journeys. I have also seen within Zimbabwe, several celebrities and public figures sharing their struggles with mental health on social media. We all know that Kanye West and Mariah Carey suffer from bipolar. Avicii, Chester Benington, Robin Williams, and Kurt Corbain all committed suicide due to depression. It's clear that several people are going through stuff but where do we draw the line?

In the pilot episode of a 2014 TV series, Black Box, the protagonist Dr Catherine Black sheds light on the real darkness and pain of mental illnesses. She is a neurologist who happens to suffer from bipolar. When off her medication, she goes into a manic state which she believes brings out her best work. However, she crashes down and almost kills herself. In a state of hallucination she shares a speech on great minds such as Vincent Van Gogh, Ernest Hemingway, Billy Holiday and Sylvia Plath. Her psychiatrist goes on to highlight the tragedy of these great minds, mostly due to suicide. Debates continue about the correlation between mental illnesses and creativity. Most writers, artists, musicians etc., use the 'tortured artist' notion for their work and lifestyles. Lord Byron once said, "We of the craft are all crazy. Some are affected by gaiety, others by melancholy, but all are more or less touched".

Creativity and depression or madness are to an extent correlated. As a writer, I know that all too well. My best work as a poet has often been drawn from pain; an admission that I have made publicly. Gaiety doesn't conjure words and lyrics that interweave through the white pages. And that's why I draw a line! Depression isn't cute! In fact it alienates individuals from the world.



I remember a guy who used mental illness to try to draw sympathy towards himself. To be honest, he's just a walking fuck up who doesn't want to grow up. Having studied psychiatry during my days in nursing, he shows signs of a form of psychological disorder but it's neither depression nor bipolar. This guy, imitates what he sees on social media. With 'some' intelligence, he uses that to manipulate people to sympathise with him. He shares posts that have to do with suffering from depression, checking up on people who are going through something etc. Do you know how many people share posts of 'pills and potions' with mental illness quotes?

Sadly such individuals ridicule the very need to remove stigma from mental illness. There is a fine line between brief sadness and the struggles of mental illness. Mental illness is debilitating! It is an everyday struggle to try and live a normal life. For the depressed individual, it's trying to find joy in life when often a lot of things don't. The suicidal individual is literally trying to stay alive. The manic depressed (bipolar) wants to be well balanced. The anxious individual wants peace of mind. The one with schizophrenia just doesn't want to be crazy.

I once spoke to a young man who shared that his girlfriend often threatens suicide if he breaks up with her. He alluded her threats to being manipulative due to the 'depression trend.' He stated that music by rappers such as Xxxtencion, influences Gen X to assume that depression is 'cool'. Go on Instagram or Twitter, someone is posting about their 'depression'. Demi Lovato's 'cutting' confession is inspirational. Panic attacks are like catching a cold, yet few realise, that it could be the death of you. Mental illness is not a hashtag!

It isn't beautiful to be 'mad' or 'sad'. For the individuals actually suffering from mental illness there is a need to choose wellness. I believe that to some extent having ownership over their conditions glamourises mental illness too. It wasn't funny watching Kanye West's mental breakdown. Yet on his album he glorifies it as being genius. Even fellow rapper G-Eazy states that Kanye West's bipolar makes him want to have the condition. Billy Holiday and Marilyn Monroe were sad little girls in grown women's bodies looking for love and acceptance. Clearly fame and fortune can never mask the pain of childhood traumas such as abuse, neglect, rejection,  homelessness and even being an orphan. So when a famous person commits suicide it's a cry for help too late. Celebrities are ordinary people with magnified lives. The pressure of the perfect life whilst ignoring dealing with trauma, act as triggers for mental  breakdowns.

Celebrities are ordinary people with magnified lives.

According to a report by the World Health Organisation (WHO), around 450 million people currently suffer from mental health conditions. This is a number out of the seven billion plus people around the world. Yet we have very few mental health practitioners especially in third world countries. Even in religious set ups such as churches, many so called 'counselors' are ill-equipped to assist with mental health issues triggered by trauma. Yet we have a direct need for individuals to seek assistance.  I am not so much a fan of medication mostly due to the side effects.

Mental illnesses especially affective mood disorders require a certain level of responsibility from the individuals themselves. It has to be a conscious decision to desire to be well or somewhat 'normal'. The ability to differentiate between chemical imbalances in the brain and triggers to past traumas is a step towards healing. We live in an age  where everyone is hypersensitive and easily triggered. This has stolen joy from our society to the extent that we can't use humour to lighten up issues. We do need to return to 'tough love'. We can't continue to allow mental illnesses to overpower our livelihoods. So many people are avoiding intimate relationships, and even having children due to mental illness. But again, we need to differentiate between mental illnesses due to hereditary causes  and unresolved traumas. We need to draw the line.

My journey of healing became a conscious choice. I'm a mother so I keep choosing life for the sake of my child. Is it any easy? No. There are good days when I'm sitting on top of the world. Then there are days of hopelessness and I just want to sleep forever. But again, choices. My journey has little to do with shrinks and counselors. I use exercises such as regularly tracing the root cause of the 'pain'. With each cause, I consciously ask myself, "How do I move on from this?", or, "Is this worth holding onto?" I refuse to label myself as depressed or anxious. That's not my name or identity. With the understanding of stigmas towards mental health problems, I cannot afford to further alienate myself. Sad posts on social media aren't cute! Suicidal threats on social media are frightening! Any form of being unhinged in the workplace can cost you your salary and benefits. How then does one deal with depression, or bipolar, anxiety, or alcoholism or schizophrenia without feeding into stigmas? Choose to get help!

Billy Holiday gave us some of the best sad love songs, but at a price. Imagine if she had spoken to someone who helped her deal with her childhood traumas? She probably would have lived long had she found a loving and supportive circle. But 'life was stole, now we will never know,' Kelly Rowland. The lady sang her blues, turned to booze and drugs to hide or somewhat numb the pain. This is an example, yet many can relate. We need to do better as a society! But it starts with all of us refraining from mocking mental health illnesses. We need to refrain from throwing self pity parties on social media. If you are triggered by blue ticks or ghosting, maybe it's time to deal with your abandonment issues.

Do you want to make a real difference to mental health and illnesses? Research, and learn about mental health and illnesses. Start teaching in communities to raise awareness about mental wellness. Take a course in counselling and start assisting your peers by being that ear they need. I have noticed mental health support groups for individuals with affective mood disorders, and would advise people to join those groups. If you have experienced trauma such as a loss of a loved one, or a job, a break up or divorce, abortion, or a form of abuse, seek counselling. It's easier said than done, but talking to someone especially experts will help you deal with the pain as well as prevent toxic coping mechanisms. By the time that we go on social media, we have work already being done on the ground. Social media should then become a tool to increase awareness in a positive light.

We need to draw the line to realign when it comes to mental illness. Misery music might be relatable but it isn't helping the plight of dealing with mental illnesses. What we watch about mental illness on television and in the movies isn't the reality of mental illness. Mental illness isn't a form of creativity, or a fashion statement, or a trend to post about on Instagram, and even brag about on social media. You can't use it as a tool to receive attention or coerce affection.

Like cancer, diabetes, HIV or heart disease, we need to add importance to mental illnesses. Everyone deserves a chance to receiving the right to a normal life...

...Remember that the next time you are being extra about trivial issues.

Protect your mind, and save lives.

P.S. Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E

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