Unlearn and burn your inhibitions...
We grew up socialised into certain behaviours and beliefs that are sometimes unhealthy for our mental wellbeing. These factors contribute to brokeness, poverty mentality and self loathing. Many of us may experience stunted emotional, spiritual and mental growth due to past experiences and beliefs. But the cycle needs to be broken now.
Our generation is privileged to acknowledge the unhealthy patterns in our lives. We have the ability to unlearn mindsets that have prevented us from living our best lives. I have been on my journey to healing for the past four years. The journey to healing and self love isn't an easy one. It does help to realise that there is so much to you than what meets the eye.
Your healing begins by spring cleaning your life. It's out with the old, and in with what you carefully choose to enter. This cleaning applies to every aspect of your life. As we go into the second half of the year, let's reevaluate our lives and take steps to positive energy.
Sage is a plant that is believed to have healing power. Many in Western cultures use the plant to cleanse their homes and spaces. We too, can cleanse our lives with new vibes, and mindsets. Want a fresh start, here are the seven ways to sage your space.
1. Acknowledge your pain
Admission is the first step to recovery. We often hear that statement when it comes to alcoholics or drug addicts. Did you know that pain can be addictive? Pain is a common trait and source of inspiration for many creatives including myself. The best pieces of art, poetry, music, were often birthed out of pain. My friend and I often joke about how Mariah Carey and Brandy make the best heartbreak songs. We actually don't want them to be completely happy because that would kill their art. Mariah Carey is bipolar. But no one wants their life to be a long Billie Holiday album. The best way to begin cleansing your life is to admit that you have pain. Write it down, cry about it, seek counselling, etc. Whatever you choose to do, let that pain be the reason that you choose to heal.
2. Confront the cause of your pain
You acknowledge that you have pain, now it's time to confront the cause of your pain. This doesn't always happen overnight. How do you confront that uncle who molested you? Or that stepmother who ill-treated you growing up? Or that ex that ghosted you? Or that boss who disliked you and fired you? I myself am terrible with confrontations. I still confront those hurts every single day. I chose to write letters. During that confrontation you might need to blow off some steam. Find something to channel all those pent up emotions towards. If you can afford it, but cheap china, and break all of it. Some choose to cry, something that I have learnt to do recently. Yes, big girls do cry; and it feels so good. Let the pain know that it no longer has power over you. You are now in charge of your life and you are moving on to - love, joy and peace!
3. Get rid of toxic people/relationships
If they make you so unhappy, then why are you keeping them in your space? In the past year, I have cut off a lot of umbilical cords, I could work in obstetrics. I don't need to explain myself to anybody on why they can't be in my life. If they are vile, critical or toxic, they need to be out of your life. You don't owe them anything! No one should ever feel entitled to your life if they aren't contributing positively to it. Or making an effort to be part of it! If your partner makes you feel like shit, they are probably shit and we dump that in the sewage pipe. Surround yourself with people who speak positively into your life and bring out the best in you. You need mentors who guide you to your destiny. You need friends who are there for your best and even worst decisions. You need a partner who loves you flaws and all. And who says that families are made by blood? You are an adult now, you can have a whole family made up of complete strangers. They just need to have your best interests at heart and anchor you.
4. Deactivate limitations
Unlearning negative self perceptions is the hardest thing. That's my greatest weakness. Growing up I was always on the defence because of constant criticism and judgement. I generally don't fit in and have very few friends. While I am slowly embracing not fitting in, I'm yet to remove my boxing gloves. So how do we move from negative thoughts about self to positivity? Erm, I wish that I had the complete answer. What I can say, is that once you are rid of toxic people, you have better chances of positive affirmation. Write a list stating everything that you want to be and stick it on your mirror or wall. 'I am beautiful,' 'I am a talented singer with soul,' 'I am a generous person who never runs out,' 'I own a viable multi billion dollar business that is thriving.' This isn't where you are right now, but that's your innate person that you have kept suppressed. No one knew that you could dance because you were always a wall flower. Or that you are a business strategist because you never shared your ideas. Let's activate who we really are and allow our inner diamonds to shine.
5. Praise yourself
They might call you cocky, but give yourself a fist pump or high five. The world might never applaud you, so you do it yourself. Did you walk 10 km today? High five! Did you clean the entire house and it smells like bleach! High five! Did you hand in that application letter for that scholarship of fellowship? Get yourself a bottle of wine! Never discredit your achievements no matter how small. It's the little things that make the big difference.
6. Get what you deserve
Repeat after me, "I deserve better!" Everyday, I have to remind myself that especially when it comes to relationships. Don't ever allow yourself to be treated like a second class citizen. You deserve alk the love and respect in the world. You deserve the finer things in life. What makes you any different from any other human being who has that great relationship, those nice shoes, that fun job etc? Nothing except an attitude that says, I don't want no mediocre. Whenever you can, spoil yourself without explanation or apologies.
7. Cleanse your space
We have been going through clearing negative mindsets and relationships. Now we need to literally exorcise our lives. The first place that I spring clean are my contacts in my phone and emails. If we haven't spoken in a year and have no business together, delete. Next, I clean my house, with the bedroom as the first stop. Get rid of old clothes and give them away, or sell them as thrifts. Throw out or burn useless papers and receipts. Change the position of your furniture. Thoroughly clean your kitchen and bathroom and establish them as your zen spaces. Food brings joy to the soul and a good bath cleanses your mind.
Burn sage and cleanse your whole household. Some place salt by window corners and sprinkle salt by the doorway. Others believe that a whiff of weed rids you off of bad vibes.
We are here for positive energy, through cleansing the body, mind and spirit.
P.S. Always write your own love story!
Ciao!
Lady E
We grew up socialised into certain behaviours and beliefs that are sometimes unhealthy for our mental wellbeing. These factors contribute to brokeness, poverty mentality and self loathing. Many of us may experience stunted emotional, spiritual and mental growth due to past experiences and beliefs. But the cycle needs to be broken now.
Our generation is privileged to acknowledge the unhealthy patterns in our lives. We have the ability to unlearn mindsets that have prevented us from living our best lives. I have been on my journey to healing for the past four years. The journey to healing and self love isn't an easy one. It does help to realise that there is so much to you than what meets the eye.
Your healing begins by spring cleaning your life. It's out with the old, and in with what you carefully choose to enter. This cleaning applies to every aspect of your life. As we go into the second half of the year, let's reevaluate our lives and take steps to positive energy.
Sage is a plant that is believed to have healing power. Many in Western cultures use the plant to cleanse their homes and spaces. We too, can cleanse our lives with new vibes, and mindsets. Want a fresh start, here are the seven ways to sage your space.
1. Acknowledge your pain
Admission is the first step to recovery. We often hear that statement when it comes to alcoholics or drug addicts. Did you know that pain can be addictive? Pain is a common trait and source of inspiration for many creatives including myself. The best pieces of art, poetry, music, were often birthed out of pain. My friend and I often joke about how Mariah Carey and Brandy make the best heartbreak songs. We actually don't want them to be completely happy because that would kill their art. Mariah Carey is bipolar. But no one wants their life to be a long Billie Holiday album. The best way to begin cleansing your life is to admit that you have pain. Write it down, cry about it, seek counselling, etc. Whatever you choose to do, let that pain be the reason that you choose to heal.
2. Confront the cause of your pain
You acknowledge that you have pain, now it's time to confront the cause of your pain. This doesn't always happen overnight. How do you confront that uncle who molested you? Or that stepmother who ill-treated you growing up? Or that ex that ghosted you? Or that boss who disliked you and fired you? I myself am terrible with confrontations. I still confront those hurts every single day. I chose to write letters. During that confrontation you might need to blow off some steam. Find something to channel all those pent up emotions towards. If you can afford it, but cheap china, and break all of it. Some choose to cry, something that I have learnt to do recently. Yes, big girls do cry; and it feels so good. Let the pain know that it no longer has power over you. You are now in charge of your life and you are moving on to - love, joy and peace!
3. Get rid of toxic people/relationships
If they make you so unhappy, then why are you keeping them in your space? In the past year, I have cut off a lot of umbilical cords, I could work in obstetrics. I don't need to explain myself to anybody on why they can't be in my life. If they are vile, critical or toxic, they need to be out of your life. You don't owe them anything! No one should ever feel entitled to your life if they aren't contributing positively to it. Or making an effort to be part of it! If your partner makes you feel like shit, they are probably shit and we dump that in the sewage pipe. Surround yourself with people who speak positively into your life and bring out the best in you. You need mentors who guide you to your destiny. You need friends who are there for your best and even worst decisions. You need a partner who loves you flaws and all. And who says that families are made by blood? You are an adult now, you can have a whole family made up of complete strangers. They just need to have your best interests at heart and anchor you.
4. Deactivate limitations
Unlearning negative self perceptions is the hardest thing. That's my greatest weakness. Growing up I was always on the defence because of constant criticism and judgement. I generally don't fit in and have very few friends. While I am slowly embracing not fitting in, I'm yet to remove my boxing gloves. So how do we move from negative thoughts about self to positivity? Erm, I wish that I had the complete answer. What I can say, is that once you are rid of toxic people, you have better chances of positive affirmation. Write a list stating everything that you want to be and stick it on your mirror or wall. 'I am beautiful,' 'I am a talented singer with soul,' 'I am a generous person who never runs out,' 'I own a viable multi billion dollar business that is thriving.' This isn't where you are right now, but that's your innate person that you have kept suppressed. No one knew that you could dance because you were always a wall flower. Or that you are a business strategist because you never shared your ideas. Let's activate who we really are and allow our inner diamonds to shine.
5. Praise yourself
They might call you cocky, but give yourself a fist pump or high five. The world might never applaud you, so you do it yourself. Did you walk 10 km today? High five! Did you clean the entire house and it smells like bleach! High five! Did you hand in that application letter for that scholarship of fellowship? Get yourself a bottle of wine! Never discredit your achievements no matter how small. It's the little things that make the big difference.
6. Get what you deserve
Repeat after me, "I deserve better!" Everyday, I have to remind myself that especially when it comes to relationships. Don't ever allow yourself to be treated like a second class citizen. You deserve alk the love and respect in the world. You deserve the finer things in life. What makes you any different from any other human being who has that great relationship, those nice shoes, that fun job etc? Nothing except an attitude that says, I don't want no mediocre. Whenever you can, spoil yourself without explanation or apologies.
7. Cleanse your space
We have been going through clearing negative mindsets and relationships. Now we need to literally exorcise our lives. The first place that I spring clean are my contacts in my phone and emails. If we haven't spoken in a year and have no business together, delete. Next, I clean my house, with the bedroom as the first stop. Get rid of old clothes and give them away, or sell them as thrifts. Throw out or burn useless papers and receipts. Change the position of your furniture. Thoroughly clean your kitchen and bathroom and establish them as your zen spaces. Food brings joy to the soul and a good bath cleanses your mind.
Burn sage and cleanse your whole household. Some place salt by window corners and sprinkle salt by the doorway. Others believe that a whiff of weed rids you off of bad vibes.
We are here for positive energy, through cleansing the body, mind and spirit.
P.S. Always write your own love story!
Ciao!
Lady E
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