MPV.....my point of view!

As I step into the new year, a word or two... I have been suffering from sleep deprivation for the past few days. My mind has been a minefield of the status quo. I have been trying to have the zen part of me wake up and rouse hope. We have been socialised that the new year, means renewal. Often you open your social media and see people posting, 'New year, new me'. If only it were that easy. As I highlighted at the beginning of the year, I chose to repurpose my resolutions. As the year has come to an end, I did not achieve anything on my resolution list. But my life did change. Most of the changes were truly the hand and power of the universe. The only thing that I  had a hand in was my love life. I chose to allow Sagittarius into my space. I chose to care about someone outside myself. I also chose to leave the table when I was no longer receiving a happy meal. Yet it was a year of lessons. On a drive home with my boss, I shared my life story. I told her about how I had

It's okay that I'm not the ideal because I'm a work in progress! I was listening to Brandy's discography and then I resonated with the lyrics to 'Camouflage'. I love the part when she sings, " And God knows I ain't perfect, Tell me who in the world is, All I know is that I'm searching, For somebody to love me with." Yes, then I recall my many arguments with Sagittarius. Always fighting dirty and hitting below the belt. As I have previously highlighted, I asked of him, to step up and meet me halfway. That's what normal people in a relationship do, right? Attempting reverse psychology on me, he would state that I thought of myself as 'perfect'. Whilst I chastised him, not to be condescending, but to make the relationship 'work', but I was the villain. He would be petty and sulk that he's always wrong with me instead of taking responsibility. Sigh! I wish that he chose to understand that I'm far from perfect. I hav

I bring me! I have my certain qualms with director Lee Daniels but I'm absolutely in love with his musical dramas. I quickly jumped onto the Empire bandwagon because of Timbaland's productions and of course, the cast. I love me some Terrence Howard and Taraji P. Henson. But in the midst of the whole Empire craze, I initially missed out on another Lee Daniels' production - Star. The two shows have found themselves crossing over with Queen Latifah's character, Carlotta guest appearing in an episode of Empire, and Jussie Smollet's Jamal appearing in Star. Both shows ran at the same time but I didn't take much interest throughout season one of Star. Come season 2, I decided to give this show a chance. First of all, me thinks, why haven't I watched the series that starred Lenny Kravitz, Naomi Campbell and Benjamin Bratt? Anyway, the storyline picks up from the life of two half sisters and a legendary musician's daughter who form a group and pursue a

Honesty isn't always the best policy but it can always give closure to old books...so that you begin new chapters! I don't always like being honest especially with myself. Every time that I have chosen to tell myself the truth, I have felt so much pain. But the truth will set you free...always! When I'm not busy trying to be a somebody or making money, I love to unwind to some good old TV. Considering that I'm often tied up, when I have free time, I binge watch series and catch up with movies. Even on my couch I continue to be a student of life and actually learning something from what I watch. Have you ever noticed how at the climax of a movie or series, there's that part where the truth comes out. People say exactly how they feel or the reason behind their behaviour. In horror movies, the protagonist often discover the truth that will set them free from the haunting evil spirit. That had me thinking about how we in reality deal with the truth. Contrary t

Should I do cartwheels on a plank for someone who hasn't crossed the ocean for me? We all know that sacrifice comes from commitment. When there is commitment, sacrifice is inevitable. At one point or another, we have had to sacrifice for something. The decision didn’t come easy but due to the commitment to a vision or promise, you made your sacrifice. And it was worth it. I was thinking about how the old me went to lengths to be loved. I lived in a 'people pleasing' mode where I became the lamb of sacrifice. There are even people that I gave up my opportunities for because I 'cared'. Years later, I have moved out of that train of thought. Love is a two way street. Not that you will be keeping score, but why should you go out of your way for someone who doesn't flinch at your very existence. We experience people differently and have different relationship dynamics. There are people that you might not communicate with in a very long time, but will come th

At this moment, we need to see things as they are instead of the idea of what they are supposed to be! I've been staring in the mirror and wondering, who wouldn't love fine ass me? I'm more confident about who I am than when I was 25, or even 21. After years of the healing process, I acknowledge that I'm 'loveable'. It doesn't always feel like that on certain days but I do work on it. And it ain't easy! But I choose to see myself as well deserving. As I have chronicled, I haven't done too well in the relationship department. And as I write this, Rihanna’s 'Same Ol' Mistakes' plays in the background. A friend of mine asked me, "What do you really want from a relationship? Who is your ideal man?" Knowing me by now, I like to divorce myself from 'ideals'. Ideals are a fiction of reality. They give us false hope instead of dealing with what's deep down. But to answer my friend's question, I need a man wh

High school will always be tough no matter what era... Top be honest, I hated high school with a passion. Okay, most of high school, senior year was bearable. I went through serious teenage angst and it didn't help that I didn't fit in. I struggled with my identity because I grew up bourgie but lived in the ghetto, spoke with a twang and was an artist at heart. I loved pretty things but I preferred being comfortable. And that's why when I watched the Netflix original film, Reality High, I could relate. In high school, everyone wants to be cool and fit in. Starring Nesta Cooper and Keith Powers, the movie is about awkward yet high achieving senior Dani Barnes. Dani is focused on going to college and volunteers at the school's veterinary section. But Dani has an arch enemy not by choice. Enter Alexa Medina, the most popular girl in school who has a vlog. Alexa has a large following of nine million followers and is always moving around taking videos, and photos.

At that very moment you actually receive that closure that it's finally over... You lay there, with a sigh of  relief because it was good whilst it lasted, but you are glad that it's over. There are certain things that you begin to intuitively feel and understand as you grow older or wiser. You move out of naivety or ideologies of the perfect relationship. You get to a place of realising that some relationships have good parts but don't last. And there are other bad relationships where the only thing that holds you together, is what's in between the sheets. During a conversation with a friend, I asked him for his opinion about a relationship. His view of my 'situation' was that I was like a pendulum. It was a constant back and forth with this guy which in psychology is considered 'toxic'. My friend gave me advice athat I need to respect myself enough to demand stability from a relationship. The guy who comes into my life must anchor himself and

I appreciate Roberta Flack and Peabo Bryson’s ‘Looking Like Love’... “Oh,oh, you’re looking like love to me.” By now, at my age, I should be a connoisseur of what ‘love’ looks like, feels like and should be. In actual fact, I should be happily in love and over the moon, yet I'm not. At times, through my journey, I have returned to my shell. I am sure at other times, I’m absolutely confused like an adolescent whose hormones are raging whilst still trying to figure themselves out.  I am a fan of Roxette’s ‘If Must Have Been Love’. Apart from executing it well, vocally, I relate to it lyrically. A while back, using my poetic ‘ego’, I wrote a poem titled, ‘It Looked Like Love, But It Wasn’t’. I was actually listening to Roxette when I wrote the poem. One day I would love to perform it in front of a crowd that would probably connect to it. “ And as I keep on playing Roxette,    I'm reminded of how I thought that you were heaven sent   Sent to rebuild what had

November is the prelude to the year end, so why not count the things to be grateful for... These days my sister will always be blasting Janet Manyowa’s ‘Grateful’ album. It’s remarkable how timely the album is despite our current challenges in the country. While Americans begin the festive season with ‘Thanksgiving’, I decided to also partake in my own small way. The past few weeks have been tumultuous to say the least. But this thanksgiving I decided to appreciate the least yet best of what I have. A friend of mine shared that ‘a lot can happen in a year’. Initially I didn’t believe him because for a long time I circled around the same place the Israelites in the desert for 40 years. But this year, my fortune changed in all aspects of my life. I was challenged to level up, step out and even grow.  A lot has happened in one year to the extent I have forgotten some things. What I have come to appreciate are the people who have been part of my journey. Gosh, tears flow

A man  needs to take responsibility of his own healing and growth... We all have different love stories that we are writing. There is no formula of how we fall in love or love. At times we can’t help whom we fall for although we can choose whether or not to love them. For healthy relationships, we look for a partner who brings out the best in us. A person who is patient with our flaws but doesn’t allow us to get away with bullshit behaviour. We demand and give respect to partners who love themselves enough to show how they will be treated and loved. In turn we take notes from Eleanor “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” There is room for growth in visions and maturity in character. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt” If we have an understanding of ‘love’ why is it that we shortchange ourselves? I decided to end a ‘relationship’ because it didn’t look or feel like a ‘relationship’. It was more of me being aske

“Every father bears a fundamental obligation to do right by their children,” - Barack Obama With the hype and quotes around Michelle Obama’s book, ‘Becoming’, Barack seems to be the ‘ideal man’. Of course he is only human and bound to err, but for purposes of this discussion, his quotes are a point of reference. We live in an age of great access to information whether negative or positive. We are also in a space for more conversation about sexual liberation. In a previous post, I shared about the modern woman owning her sexuality. And I still stand firmly by that stance, because ownership of one’s sexuality also reflects upon other areas of their life. That point was also touched on, when I discussed about celibacy. The point is that we are in charge of what mostly happens in our lives based on our ‘choices’. Part of choice is being responsible and accountable. Responsibility isn’t fun to be honest but it’s necessary especially for maturity. In other parts of our liv

Being sexually liberated and being in the moment comes from going outside your head. How does one live in the moment when they are plagued with an ounce of insecurity? There are things that challenge our confidence in things we hope to be masters of. One of these areas happens to be ‘sex’. The discussion about sexual prowess is a very difficult and uncomfortable topic for most. Like who reviews their performance post coitus? Should the sheepish grin or orgasmic face on your partner’s face be the gauge? In an age where, especially women, are being encouraged to own their sexuality, there is still that gap in ‘satisfaction’. While in Africa the emphasis still remains on pleasing a man, the more modern woman chooses to enjoy her own pleasure. We are owning our sexuality from sex toys to whom we choose to have sex with. However liberated sexuality is considered to some extent, not feminine, at times foreign and mostly immoral. But when it comes to sexual pleasure we act