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Showing posts from 2023

We Are at the Tip My Friend

Dear beloved, we've come to that point where we are at the tip of the Coca-Cola bottle. Bonjour mes amis! It seems like déjà-vu writing about friendships yet again. However, some relationships need repeating because we keep making the same mistakes. Remember my previous blog “Fair Weather Friends”? Well chérie, this is the continuation. Like Sierra Tishaj suggested, “If it ain’t growing, it’s gotta go.” I’m dusting off my Diana Ross records and busting some ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’ moves. Why? Because it’s that time again where I have to say goodbye to people holding me back. Like Ma Nan said in Moonlight, “That thing weighing you down, you got to let it go.” Friends, some of these dynamics I’ve outgrown since high school ha! I thought the telenovela ended in college but the drama kept coming. Taking inspiration from The Real Lady E’s profound words, “I do have individuals who fit into most of my areas of needs. In turn, they turn to me for their needs. I’m act

Fairweather Friends

Learn to understand the position of people in your seasons. Some people are not meant for the summers and springs of your life because they weren't there through the winter.  Bonjour mes amis, comment allez-vous vous? I need a whole bottle of wine. Gather around. Tjo! Where do I even begin. Y'all know that I don't like to make this space a pity party venue, but every once in a while, your girl is blue. This has been a rough season. I'm unemployed, and broke. I'm in severe debt. And I can't even find at least one individual in my contacts list who can reliably help me out. I'm not a beggar. I have always worked hard, and prefer to do my own things - especially financially. So yes, I'm in the trenches. Actually, I asked for a job from an old colleague, and they blue ticked me. My nephew blocked me when I asked for help - for leads to jobs because he's well connected, and financial assistance. I do comprehend that things are challenging for everyone, so

Are You Friend Zoning Your Soulmate?

Your perfect match could be right under your nose! And then Colby O'donis' 'Under My Nose' starts playing. As the lyrics play, I can't help reflect on a recent experience that has me wondering - could he be right under my nose, and I've been too blind to see? Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? Ça va! Bring your wine glasses with you and let's have a chat. So, I've been doing some serious self-reflection after our last discussion. There's a lot of unpacking required  and I really need to let go, so that I heal. Healing leads to new beginnings. And hopefully, happy endings - metaphorically that is. We all know the friendzone - that comfortable space where we stash away people we care about but don't see as romantic partners. But could our so-called "friends" actually be meant for more?  Lately I've been reflecting on a close acquaintance of mine whom I've realized I may have been unintentionally "friendzoning." We

The Writings On The Wall

Thou shall move onto the next! And then 'If You Leave' by Destiny's Child and Next starts to play. Gosh, 'The Writings on the Wall' remains my favourite Destiny's Child album, ever. The concept of the '10 commandments' of relationships. Brilliant!  Bonjour, mes amies! Comment ça va? Ça va bien! (Caribbean accent) Your gyal ,  moi , has been experiencing epiphanies. And a few disappointments, but life is too sweet to be upset. Lick your ice cream and have sweet red wine! I travelled through the blogosphere for inspiration for our topic today. Ironically, I also had a discussion with an acquaintance about a similar topic. There's nothing that I love more than people who brag about their intelligence. Oh, my! People pride themselves on their levels of education, often equating it to intelligence. We assess our value based on having degrees, master's degrees, and doctorates. If only those worked in relationships. I think of David Robson's 'W

Ask Me, Not Them!

Getting to know someone is an intentional action that requires up-close and personal interaction! Interact tete-a-tete ! Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? Je suis comme çi, comme ça! So, I've been getting my domestication on. Cooking. Cleaning. Laundry. Sewing on buttons and seams. God, I love the scent of bleached floor tiles, and an aerosol with a good fragrance. Non-allergic though. Gather around ladies, bring your wine glasses with you. Sidenote, I need to action adding more bin bags and cushions for our conversations. So, I'm not sure what wavelength that I'm currently particularly on, but I've been told that of late that I'm slightly intense in our conversations. C'mon, moi , a whole me (Yvonne Orji voice), intense? Laughs. Don't worry, the fermented grapes will mellow my demeanour. You do know that this  becoming  journey is serious business. It's a literal self therapy process that includes introspect, lots of unpacking and unlearning. It&

Good Guy Isn't Always Mr. Right

Mr. Right isn't perfect, but he makes the relationship worth it. Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? What's the French phrase for, "I'm decent?" You will let me know as we progress. How have been your dates? I now need deposits into my PayPal account because your girl is pre-rich ...and hungry! Laughs hard. But no cap, I am hungry. I'm wishing that someone's Italian mother, aunt or grandma would just invite me for meals - breakfast, lunch, dinner, and gelato, and say to me, " Mangia, mangia !" So, my single ladies, as we continue to do the inner work, whilst making preparations to meet the King like Esther (from the Bible), let's get into class. We want to unlearn a certain batch of bachelors. Since the inception of this series, we have weighed in the pros and cons of the different suitors-to-be. Let's recap: the widower, divorcee, single dad, younger guy, foreigner, and player. I have shared my experiences with most, if not all, the

Solo

Be the person whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. Porque eres el único cuerpo con el que estás atrapado para siempre ! With that said, it's good to have our feet back on solid ground. I can't wait for the  next trip ! Now ladies, we are dressing up for not just one, but several dates. Through our journey to  becoming , we are all about self-introspection and self-love. We are going on a solo date where we assess if we enjoy our own company, embrace our flaws, and seek to be better versions of ourselves.  Single ladies, bring your A-game with the wardrobe, face, body and most importantly, personality because we are putting our best foot forward. Put on your favourite outfit because we're going on a couple of dates with ourselves! Gentlemen, y'all invited to observe. A nous allez!  Date #1: Restaurant  I'm wearing a midi, nude pink, chiffon dress. I'm pairing the outfit with gold jewellery, and rose gold heels. I made a reservation at my favourite

I'm Ready

Por qué me siento así, mi amor? Lo podemos culpar a Cupido!   Bring on the tissues, and a tub of ice cream, and Amarula cream. Cupid really picked on me and not at the best time. And then 'Stupid Cupid' starts playing. Bonjour single ladies! Forgive me for the dramatic entrance, but I feel like a hopelessly enamoured teenager. Remember  le garçon du chocolat ? Oui. Well, what started off as a crush, has developed into more. Could I be in-love? Umm... But I think that the sparks have fizzled out on his end. Throwing myself on the couch.  Why am I this person, though? Am I setting myself up for possibly another heartbreak after recovering from a not so recent one? Like, le garçon du chocolat lives rent free in my mind, and mostly in my dreams. Am I supposed to feel like this actually? Gosh, I feel so embarrassed with my grown self.   So while, I'm manoeuvring through my emotions, let's talk about starting all over again with a renewed perspective. Gather around ladies,

Autopilot: Time to Switch Gears

You can only experience the flight if you are the pilot of your own plane. Bonjour, mes amies! Comment allez-vous? To be honest, je suis comme çi, comme ça . I'm turning on my Spotify to play Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds." Single ladies, pack up your bags, dress up parce que  we are going on a trip. Make sure to wear something stylish, warm, and comfortable. You will be served hors d'oeuvres, followed by a meal of your choice paired with wine. A nous allez!  Welcome aboard Recovery Airlines, ladies. We'll be flying at an altitude of forgiveness and landing safely on self-love. On this flight, we are switching gears and getting off autopilot mode. In context, autopilot means moving through life with nonchalance. Moving with a smile on one's face yet numb (and perhaps dead) inside Yes, that's autopilot. A nous allez! After sweeping things under the rug for a while, I've come to realise that forgiveness is an essential part of the healing proc

Script My Life: Perfect Find

Find love in the most unexpected places... ...and in unusual faces. As someone who's been avoiding warm, fuzzy and so-called 'romantic', I found my 'perfect find', I think. Imagine a romantic comedy that has you laughing, crying, and feeling all the feels? Well Netflix latest flick, romantic comedy, 'The Perfect Find', has nostalgia meets cliché love stories and great visuals. Based on a screenplay by Leigh Davenport, and directed by Numa Perrier, 'The Perfect Find' is based on the book of the same name by Tia Williams. The film stars Gabrielle Union, Keith Powers, Janet Hubert, Aisha Hinds, D.B. Woodside, La La Anthony and Gina Torres. Played by Gabrielle Union, the film follows Jenna Jones, a forty-year-old beauty journalist who moves back to New York City, after being dumped by her boyfriend of 10 years, Brian (Woodside). She asks her rival Darcy (Torres) for a job at Darzine and is offered the Creative Director position on a three-month trial bas