Skip to main content

Going Through the Most

As I sat down by the locked door, I realized that I am going through the most.

Depression


Bad luck comes in threes, with one challenge following the next. You can't seem to catch a break or a breath. I couldn't hold my breath because I was feeling out of it. I felt dizzy, palpitations set in my heart and I was out of breath. The pharmacist told me to sit down and breathe slowly. He suspected an asthma attack. I know asthma; it wasn't it. I suspected of high blood pressure. But I knew what it was...

I was experiencing a nervous breakdown. Nervous breakdowns aren't a thing. We are already struggling with the discussion of depression, bipolar, and other mental health illnesses. I have been going under the guise that my shit is together. I got a heavy blow mid-May and had to pretend that I didn't care. I thought that I could make it through because I have done this before. My mind calculated how much work I would need to sustain me financially until I get the next decent job - for stability.

This terrible country rolled out the first stage of load shedding. Told me that eight hours isn't bad. I can pick up work from the time that the power comes on. However, in the past weeks, the ball game changed to almost twenty hours of no electricity. The higher powers call it to stage two. Unfortunately, where I live, it's been a week now without complete power. Even after filing several complaints to the authorities, all has fallen on deaf ears. This is the second curse.

Freelancing is my current source of food. There are bills to pay and projects that need funding. Check bank balance. Insufficient funds. Scroll down my phone book for someone to borrow from. Most people live in this hell hole of a country. Budgeting, saving, or lending do not collaborate with the unstable economic situation. Those people are probably going through your situation or worse. I'm broke. That is something I often refuse to put into the universe. Bad luck number three.

Who do you talk to about what you are going through? Responses will come as, everybody is going through it. Someone might suggest 'make a plan'. The African tongue will say, "Chingoshingirira. Namata. Zvichaita." (Be strong. Pray. It will work out). A typical Cancer, I crawl back into my shell. Introversion is my defense mechanism whilst battling with my mind for solutions. Hiding the humiliation, pain, and feeling of failure to the world has been easy. Thanks to a gallery of happy photos, that big smile will confirm that I am okay. But am I?

My daughter asked me, "Mummy, why are you sad?" She sees it and maybe feels it. Society taught me that my child should never see my pain. I lie. "Sorry my baby, I was just thinking about what we are having for supper," a wry smile comes up, "Do you need my help?" Yes, I was thinking about how to put food on the table. Sigh!  Most days I don't want to wake up. When I do, I sit in the sun, asking the Son for answers, ideas, or solutions.

The one day that I take a walk to clear my head, all emotions pour in. My head is buzzing. I see darkness during daylight. I can't breathe. My clothes are creating uncomfortable heat. I am hyperventilating while my heart races fast. I could collapse anytime and there's no one in sight. But who walks in this suburb. It makes sense why people are robbed in broad daylight. I hold on to a tree and try breathing exercises. Silently praying, "Lord gives me the strength to reach civilization. Please get me help."

Slowly walking through the green surburbs, I manage to get to the shopping area. Thank God, I sigh, still experiencing shortness of breath. I walk into the nearest pharmacy with a tingling sensation over my face and arms. The pharmacist is busy attending to a client. He sees me gasping for air and asks me to take a seat. Breathe slowly is the instruction is given. Tears well up and trickle down my face.

Minutes later, my body calms down. Air is circulating through my chest and nasal passages. I stand up and thank the pharmacist. Just a few steps around the corner, I get home. The front door is
Locked meaning there's no one home. I knock several times with no response. I sit down by the door. Tears well up again and trickle down my cheeks. I am overwhelmed and not in a good way. I could have collapsed on the road and probably died. I know of people who just collapsed into oblivion. I just wanted to lie down on my bed and sleep. My daughter later comes to the door and opens for me.

"Mummy are you okay?" She asks. I respond, "I'm not feeling well. I need to rest a little. Do you need my help?" She had done her homework already. She told me to get well soon and left me to rest.

Still, I feel alone. I have no one to talk to. When I am out of bed, I will face the world with that 'my shit is together' pretense. It's not a pity party but an acknowledgment I have been going through the most.


We should never leave anyone alone with their thoughts for too long.

P.S. Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E

Comments

Popular Posts

The Red Season: Breadcrumbs of Love

No matter how broken you are, a meal of love is what you need. For the first time in a long time, I will admit on this platform, I will admit that I cried. I felt humiliated and hurt. Mariah Carey's "Cry" is playing in my head. I keep asking myself why am I this person? Why do I keep scraping for crumbs of love? Am I not enough? And following a recent disappointment, I reverted to a quote that I saw on a certain blog. "You could have the best intentions, you could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be a good woman and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man because the only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you,"  Sipho Mbhele. "You could have the best intentions, you could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be a good woman and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man because the only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you,"  Sipho Mbhele. Gosh, I'm tired of this circus. The fact...

Single ladies: Wife material

MPV.....my point of view! Single Ladies: Wifen Material *Royal wave*Hey single ladies,your guide is back.The pursuit for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It is on.Today I would like to make you a get-a-ring-on-it lady. Now following my articles,'Single Ladies Part 3',where I talked about the prince searching for a 'real princess',or 'Queen';and 'Brown Sugar',where the word 'brown sugar' was defined as wifen material,I would like to talk about 'wifey material'.(Whether we are that). How do we single ladies get that ring-on-it,you ask?By being wifey material.My uncle keeps on telling me,'If you want to become Mrs X,you should be a wife.You are a wife before he puts a ring on it'.What he means is that,a man will treat you the way you portray yourself.How,you ask? Ever noticed the difference between a wife and a girlfriend.Now let me break it down for you.A girlfriend usually,takes life in a more leisurely way;unlike a wife,whose focus is mo...

Before We Lay

“Every father bears a fundamental obligation to do right by their children,” - Barack Obama With the hype and quotes around Michelle Obama’s book, ‘Becoming’, Barack seems to be the ‘ideal man’. Of course he is only human and bound to err, but for purposes of this discussion, his quotes are a point of reference. We live in an age of great access to information whether negative or positive. We are also in a space for more conversation about sexual liberation. In a previous post, I shared about the modern woman owning her sexuality. And I still stand firmly by that stance, because ownership of one’s sexuality also reflects upon other areas of their life. That point was also touched on, when I discussed about celibacy. The point is that we are in charge of what mostly happens in our lives based on our ‘choices’. Part of choice is being responsible and accountable. Responsibility isn’t fun to be honest but it’s necessary especially for maturity. In other parts of our liv...

Script My Life: Jane, Jane, Carrie!

Some stories are best watched as they play out... Ever watched a movie or TV series and relate to a character? How many parts of the plot line would you have loved to be part of your life? Filmmakers have managed to tap into our subconscious to draw emotions towards their films. There are certain characters that have become memorable with fans. We often quote them, use film analogies to explain real life and even play out the plot ourselves. Relating film to real life has become a common feature on this blog. We called it Script My Life, of which many of you are a fan of. To date the most viewed posts are the 'SML' for 'Madea's Family Reunion' and 'Why Did I Get Married?'. All I can say is thank you. We continue to bridge screenplays to our real lives today. Television series often bring various storylines in different genres. When I was young, I had an obsession with medical/hospital drama. Teen dramas became my thing during my early 20s. Remember...

Script My Life: Jane the Virgin Season Finale

Every telenovela has to come to an end... ...but with a happy ending! *Warning spoiler alert!* Mios dios! I dramatically cried as Jane and Rafael were enjoying the sunset on their wedding day. Jane  explains the ending of her novel, which is turned into a telenovela. And the typewriter writes, 'THE END'. I now understand my friend's sadness over the finale of this cheesy, yet addictive television series. I have always been a fan of soap operas. I religiously watched South African soapies during my nursing school days. And then when I became a stay-at-home mum, I added the American and Phillipino soapies to the list. When DSTv then introduced a channel for Spanish soapies known as novelas, I was gone. The thing with novelas or telenovelas, is that they amplify the usual soapie drama. The male characters are sexy even as villains and the female characters are over the top. Unlike a soapie like Days of Our Lives or Generations, telenovelas have a time frame. Like w...