Skip to main content

Going Through the Most

As I sat down by the locked door, I realized that I am going through the most.

Depression


Bad luck comes in threes, with one challenge following the next. You can't seem to catch a break or a breath. I couldn't hold my breath because I was feeling out of it. I felt dizzy, palpitations set in my heart and I was out of breath. The pharmacist told me to sit down and breathe slowly. He suspected an asthma attack. I know asthma; it wasn't it. I suspected of high blood pressure. But I knew what it was...

I was experiencing a nervous breakdown. Nervous breakdowns aren't a thing. We are already struggling with the discussion of depression, bipolar, and other mental health illnesses. I have been going under the guise that my shit is together. I got a heavy blow mid-May and had to pretend that I didn't care. I thought that I could make it through because I have done this before. My mind calculated how much work I would need to sustain me financially until I get the next decent job - for stability.

This terrible country rolled out the first stage of load shedding. Told me that eight hours isn't bad. I can pick up work from the time that the power comes on. However, in the past weeks, the ball game changed to almost twenty hours of no electricity. The higher powers call it to stage two. Unfortunately, where I live, it's been a week now without complete power. Even after filing several complaints to the authorities, all has fallen on deaf ears. This is the second curse.

Freelancing is my current source of food. There are bills to pay and projects that need funding. Check bank balance. Insufficient funds. Scroll down my phone book for someone to borrow from. Most people live in this hell hole of a country. Budgeting, saving, or lending do not collaborate with the unstable economic situation. Those people are probably going through your situation or worse. I'm broke. That is something I often refuse to put into the universe. Bad luck number three.

Who do you talk to about what you are going through? Responses will come as, everybody is going through it. Someone might suggest 'make a plan'. The African tongue will say, "Chingoshingirira. Namata. Zvichaita." (Be strong. Pray. It will work out). A typical Cancer, I crawl back into my shell. Introversion is my defense mechanism whilst battling with my mind for solutions. Hiding the humiliation, pain, and feeling of failure to the world has been easy. Thanks to a gallery of happy photos, that big smile will confirm that I am okay. But am I?

My daughter asked me, "Mummy, why are you sad?" She sees it and maybe feels it. Society taught me that my child should never see my pain. I lie. "Sorry my baby, I was just thinking about what we are having for supper," a wry smile comes up, "Do you need my help?" Yes, I was thinking about how to put food on the table. Sigh!  Most days I don't want to wake up. When I do, I sit in the sun, asking the Son for answers, ideas, or solutions.

The one day that I take a walk to clear my head, all emotions pour in. My head is buzzing. I see darkness during daylight. I can't breathe. My clothes are creating uncomfortable heat. I am hyperventilating while my heart races fast. I could collapse anytime and there's no one in sight. But who walks in this suburb. It makes sense why people are robbed in broad daylight. I hold on to a tree and try breathing exercises. Silently praying, "Lord gives me the strength to reach civilization. Please get me help."

Slowly walking through the green surburbs, I manage to get to the shopping area. Thank God, I sigh, still experiencing shortness of breath. I walk into the nearest pharmacy with a tingling sensation over my face and arms. The pharmacist is busy attending to a client. He sees me gasping for air and asks me to take a seat. Breathe slowly is the instruction is given. Tears well up and trickle down my face.

Minutes later, my body calms down. Air is circulating through my chest and nasal passages. I stand up and thank the pharmacist. Just a few steps around the corner, I get home. The front door is
Locked meaning there's no one home. I knock several times with no response. I sit down by the door. Tears well up again and trickle down my cheeks. I am overwhelmed and not in a good way. I could have collapsed on the road and probably died. I know of people who just collapsed into oblivion. I just wanted to lie down on my bed and sleep. My daughter later comes to the door and opens for me.

"Mummy are you okay?" She asks. I respond, "I'm not feeling well. I need to rest a little. Do you need my help?" She had done her homework already. She told me to get well soon and left me to rest.

Still, I feel alone. I have no one to talk to. When I am out of bed, I will face the world with that 'my shit is together' pretense. It's not a pity party but an acknowledgment I have been going through the most.


We should never leave anyone alone with their thoughts for too long.

P.S. Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E

Comments

Popular Posts

We Aren't that Couple!

We are perfectly imperfect! Bonjour mes armies, comment ça va? Je vais trés bien merci!  Bring your glasses of your favourite poison and let's chat. We are drawing close to that time of the year. I wouldn't let us leave this profound year without a few lessons. It's story time.   It's taken time—actually, years—for he and I to come to this place. We haven't always seen eye-to-eye, yet we find ourselves here. It's actually insane! But time does help with self-discovery. For me, the healing process has put things into perspective. I'm not yet there, but I'm becoming her, and he's willing to see me through it.  What I love about he and I is simply the fact that we aren't that couple. You know those who have to constantly update their Gram or WhatsApp status to validate the strength of their union? Before you come for me, it's "cute," and yes, you and your person should declare your affection for each other. I'm just from the sch...

That's Not My Portion

A man  needs to take responsibility of his own healing and growth... We all have different love stories that we are writing. There is no formula of how we fall in love or love. At times we can’t help whom we fall for although we can choose whether or not to love them. For healthy relationships, we look for a partner who brings out the best in us. A person who is patient with our flaws but doesn’t allow us to get away with bullshit behaviour. We demand and give respect to partners who love themselves enough to show how they will be treated and loved. In turn we take notes from Eleanor “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” There is room for growth in visions and maturity in character. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt” If we have an understanding of ‘love’ why is it that we shortchange ourselves? I decided to end a ‘relationship’ because it didn’t look or feel like a ‘relationship’. It was more of me being ...

Baa baa Black Sheep

‘Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full One for the master, One for the dame, One for the little boy who lives down the lane.”-Baa baa Black Sheep, Nursery Rhyme Oh how I loved nursery school! Learning was so much fun and colourful as the teachers taught using music, visuals and lots of play and let’s not forget nap time! Gosh! (I stare into a blank space with so much nostalgia). Hmm, question! Is there more to life than trying to constantly fit into other people’s moulds? Are my imperfections so great that those around are blinded to the planks to the planks in their own eyes? Or maybe I am just not appropriately in the right place? At one point or another, we all have faced identity issues, or have suffered from the ‘I don’t fit in’ syndrome. The worst time is the puberty-adolescent period. As an individual, one tries to live up to expectations from parents, teachers, peers and society at large. During that same period, an ...

5 Ways Your 30s Are Better Than the 20s

Talk thirty to me! Never ask a lady her age, they say. At a particular age, many refuse to share how old they really are. This year, so many people that I know turned 30. Even famous individuals such as Chris Brown and Misred joined the dirty thirty gang. From my thirty something self, I welcome you all. Your thirties are a whole different stage of life compared to your twenties and forthcoming forties. Though a tricky age to be, your 30s are a defining decade. They are a reflection of the rest of your life based on the map that you draw. Being thirty or plus something comes with an evolution to your being. You discover that you are no longer the same person you were at seventeen or twenty five. This means that entering into this decade you have a new point of view! Don't cry about turning older! These are the five reasons why your 30s are way much better than your 20s. 1. You know what you want How many of us couldn't wait to sing, "I've got the keys, ...

Script My Life: Grown-ish Season 2 Episode 18

I choose ME! We watch and I write; correlating fictional characters with reasonably realistic plot lines to our lives. Script my life! I chose not to review a whole season of a series, neither a film this week. I was struggling to write an authentic story about something that spoke to me through visual consumption. And then I felt emotions erupt as I watched the latest episode of Grown-ish. While I sometimes relate to the protagonist, Zoey Johnson, she annoys me more as I watch this second season. I must forgive her because she's a spoilt 19 year old who is yet to learn the realities of growing up. But she does these really annoying things like being judgemental and being up in people's business. I do love Nomi, Sky (Halle Bailey) and Doug (Diggy Simmons) though. Their characters have so much to offer to the show and audience. In this week's episode titled, 'Nice for What', the young women of the coming-of-age sitcom had to make hard relationship choice...