At that very moment you actually receive that closure that it's finally over...
You lay there, with a sigh of relief because it was good whilst it lasted, but you are glad that it's over. There are certain things that you begin to intuitively feel and understand as you grow older or wiser. You move out of naivety or ideologies of the perfect relationship. You get to a place of realising that some relationships have good parts but don't last. And there are other bad relationships where the only thing that holds you together, is what's in between the sheets.
During a conversation with a friend, I asked him for his opinion about a relationship. His view of my 'situation' was that I was like a pendulum. It was a constant back and forth with this guy which in psychology is considered 'toxic'. My friend gave me advice athat I need to respect myself enough to demand stability from a relationship. The guy who comes into my life must anchor himself and make sure that the relationship finds itsrt strength and direction.
Yes, the pendulum! When you think about it, when you are in a pendulum 'relationship', it feels like you are under hypnosis. You go through the whole 'situationship' with Nina Simone's 'Spell on You' playing in the background. You go through the whole process always wondering "why in the hell do I keep getting back with this person?' There are more reasons why we keep breaking up than there are that we should be together.
In a soliloquy, you have stated why you shouldn’t be in a 'relationship' (for a lack of a better word) with this person. One of you, or none of you, wants to compromise. One of you, or both of you don't want to make it work. One of you is more committed and puts more effort. The other person keeps you in their hand like the joker card. They treat you as if you are desperate and clinging onto them for dear life. And maybe you are desperate and clingy! Or maybe, you are mature enough to understand that relationships are a lot of hard work. You just don't sulk or throw tantrums just because your partner isn't meeting your expectations.
But then again, maybe you are trying to fill a void with this person and that's why you keep swinging.
The common ground when it comes to pendulum relationships is sex. Do'this even roll your eyes at me! Why else would one go back and forth? Everything else might be toxic but what happens in between the sheets is insatiable. That's why the 'couple' often finds themselves in their own telenovela. It's dramatic with the fighting and breaking up. It's exciting when they make up, experiencing a euphoria thanks to adrenaline and oxytocin. But for the one person who is emotionally invested, they will feel lost. It's like being a spirit in purgatory. They are constantly in limbo. In English it's called confusion, and as a fully formed adult, you ought not to be 'confused'.
So when does the swinging like a pendulum stop? When you decide to have an out of body experience and check out. The moment that your mind leaves your body and situation, you realise that you cannot keep that boomerang effect no more. Your check out is your reality check and moment of truth. The swinging makes you dizzy and the spell is eventually broken.
In a video on the As/Is YouTube channel, a video highlights how some relationships end. The best way to end a pendulum relationship is with a bang...literally. The same thing that you used to consumate your relationship,is what puts things assunder. That one common thing that kept you in that pendulum state puts it to a halt.
Then you lay there, with a sigh of relief, knowing that this is actually the end. You watch your own body walk out of the door with no signs of returning. You can start afresh and find stability.
At that very moment you actually receive that closure that it's finally over...
No more going and back and forth...
The pendulum has stopped swinging.
P.S. : Always write your own love story!
Lady E
Ciao!
You lay there, with a sigh of relief because it was good whilst it lasted, but you are glad that it's over. There are certain things that you begin to intuitively feel and understand as you grow older or wiser. You move out of naivety or ideologies of the perfect relationship. You get to a place of realising that some relationships have good parts but don't last. And there are other bad relationships where the only thing that holds you together, is what's in between the sheets.
During a conversation with a friend, I asked him for his opinion about a relationship. His view of my 'situation' was that I was like a pendulum. It was a constant back and forth with this guy which in psychology is considered 'toxic'. My friend gave me advice athat I need to respect myself enough to demand stability from a relationship. The guy who comes into my life must anchor himself and make sure that the relationship finds itsrt strength and direction.
Yes, the pendulum! When you think about it, when you are in a pendulum 'relationship', it feels like you are under hypnosis. You go through the whole 'situationship' with Nina Simone's 'Spell on You' playing in the background. You go through the whole process always wondering "why in the hell do I keep getting back with this person?' There are more reasons why we keep breaking up than there are that we should be together.
In a soliloquy, you have stated why you shouldn’t be in a 'relationship' (for a lack of a better word) with this person. One of you, or none of you, wants to compromise. One of you, or both of you don't want to make it work. One of you is more committed and puts more effort. The other person keeps you in their hand like the joker card. They treat you as if you are desperate and clinging onto them for dear life. And maybe you are desperate and clingy! Or maybe, you are mature enough to understand that relationships are a lot of hard work. You just don't sulk or throw tantrums just because your partner isn't meeting your expectations.
But then again, maybe you are trying to fill a void with this person and that's why you keep swinging.
The common ground when it comes to pendulum relationships is sex. Do'this even roll your eyes at me! Why else would one go back and forth? Everything else might be toxic but what happens in between the sheets is insatiable. That's why the 'couple' often finds themselves in their own telenovela. It's dramatic with the fighting and breaking up. It's exciting when they make up, experiencing a euphoria thanks to adrenaline and oxytocin. But for the one person who is emotionally invested, they will feel lost. It's like being a spirit in purgatory. They are constantly in limbo. In English it's called confusion, and as a fully formed adult, you ought not to be 'confused'.
So when does the swinging like a pendulum stop? When you decide to have an out of body experience and check out. The moment that your mind leaves your body and situation, you realise that you cannot keep that boomerang effect no more. Your check out is your reality check and moment of truth. The swinging makes you dizzy and the spell is eventually broken.
In a video on the As/Is YouTube channel, a video highlights how some relationships end. The best way to end a pendulum relationship is with a bang...literally. The same thing that you used to consumate your relationship,is what puts things assunder. That one common thing that kept you in that pendulum state puts it to a halt.
Then you lay there, with a sigh of relief, knowing that this is actually the end. You watch your own body walk out of the door with no signs of returning. You can start afresh and find stability.
At that very moment you actually receive that closure that it's finally over...
No more going and back and forth...
The pendulum has stopped swinging.
P.S. : Always write your own love story!
Lady E
Ciao!
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