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Showing posts from 2022

Here's to Becoming

Manifestation is mindset and action combined to achieve the desired results. This is my last year of being single! I'm declaring it and speaking it into the Universe. Now, there's nothing wrong with being single, but we need a final chapter for the Single Ladies series. All good things have to come to an end. Don't worry I'm not dropping off our bus, just as yet. Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez vous? Je vais trés bien merci, et vous? Let's gather around as we countdown to the New Year. I already have a head start with the wine, so let's catch up. In an intense conversation with one of my closest nephews, I told him that this is my last year of being single. We laughed, hard! But I was serious. Now, we don't have a groom as yet. But I'm going to 'Sex & the City' Charlotte manifest this. And my inner circle has been through the relationship trenches with me. We are all exhausted! So, I understand their skepticism and even fears for my fragilit

5 Pet Peeves to Leave And Win Her

Effort equals reward, and effort is the real charm. It's the last 'Man Crush Monday' of the year, and it would be a deservice to all my MCMs not to take this journey together. Gosh, this has been an interesting year in my dating life. I'm bringing in my single ladies to share their own war stories parce que, we're that community. Tjo!   Ngahleka ukhuthi amaf*ckboys b ashada  this year.(In my head, Somizi voice) Woo, shem ! We live in an era where there's the complaint that femaledom is entitled. In the realm of dating, there's a complaint of unreasonable standards, Ciara's prayer, and the erasure of masculinity. We hear you. The discussion needs to be brought to the table with accountable individuals.  But today, we are addressing some real turn offs. Abeg, abeg, why is there effortless wooing? I mean, we are post-pandemic, yet some fellas are still on that we're confined to the four walls of our habitations. Get with the program, Queen Bey sang, &qu

Script My Life: Miracle Before Christmas

A little Christmas magic is all we need to change our lives. I love binge watching holiday films. They give me that fuzz and hope for something better. This particular season I need more than just the feeling, I need the miracle. With the plethora of holiday flicks, for our Christmas script my life, I choose Miracle Before Christmas.

The Case of Round Two

Kea lumela hore ke rata lintho! And most of the time it's bad for my process of becoming. So I'm trying to be subtle, but...   I met a ghost from my past. Not an unpleasant one at all. just someone I didn't necessarily expect. Seeing and being around him reminded me of the vulnerability that I'm afraid of experiencing. I met Michael again. Like,  Mikey, whom I likey .  Yep. And I realised that two years later I sort of like him....a lot. Yet, he remains complicated . But on the other hand, he's still a good kisser. (And Usher's "Good Kisser" drums start playing in the background).  Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez vous?  Bring your glasses; let's gather around and chat. I'm having a nice, not wine-related drink that I'm going to regret in the morning because of a hangover. I don't know why I'm this person, though.  Michael, Michael, Michael. U tsoa kae? O romilwe ke mang? Coming to mess up my chakras again! I know that being comfo

When We All Come Together: The Wedding

If My Big Fat Greek wedding was African, my family is the epitome. We've made it to December! This was a hell of a year and I speak figuratively. In one conversation that I had with one of my closest nephews, I realised that everyone of my family was going through personal turmoil. I had shut myself off from the clan and just the world. I dreaded socialising because I wasn't the Eiffel 65 type of blue. We lost loved ones - particularly my brother and nephew. 

I Got Stood Up...But I'm Okay!

I laugh because none of this is a reflection of who I am! Bonjour, bonjour! Comment ça va? Jes suis trés bien! It's silly season and we will be merry all the way. I'm not sure if this is for the 'Dirty Laundry Diaries', or 'Single Ladies Series'; what I do know, I need 30 bucks to feed my child. I'm actually not joking about the 30 bucks. I'm insomniac. Most nights are restless. My current thoughts are more frightening compared to watching horror movies, or listening to true crime podcasts. Y'all gather around, bring your favourite 'happy juice', because it's story time. I must begin and say, I do like things. I know that I have old money tendencies and tastes, within reason. What I never acknowledged is that there's a side of me that's very exploration or curious. I'm not a fan of mob psychology but there are times when I just go with the flow. And yes, that flow leads me to Never, Neverland. So, one of these interesting

Script My Life: Unhealthy Relationship Tropes & Takeaways

Let art offer you introsp ect and choose a different imitation of life! Honestly, I wanted to 'sing my life' with Summer Walker's, 'Still not over it." For those who understand my eclectic taste, they know my love for post 2010 R&B. For the ladies of R&B I love Honestly, I wanted to 'sing my life' with Summer Walker's, "Still not over it." For those who understand my eclectic taste, they know my love for post-2010 R&B. For the ladies of R&B, I love Kehlani, Teyana Taylor, Jhené Aiko, SZA, Queen Naija, and Summer Walker. Summer is a whole lot of mess, but hella talented. Her music speaks to my millennial soul. But I watched "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" with my sisters. Have you ever had a group of black women watch and assess a movie? As Amanda Seales once said, it's giving you an interactive experience. So many views on the plot. Honestly, though, I really need new flicks to watch! I had an "aha!" moment

The Slow Burn

Stop trying to control everything and start experiencing the slow burn. Hello, single ladies! Comment ça va mes amies? "Je suis bien!   Gather around; today we are having coffee and tea. I'll get my dose of caffeine as usual. I'm so inspired by the previous article. The inspiration came from the last few paragraphs, where I wrote about the slow burn. I remember the movie, "I Want You Back." The character Emma tells Peter that he's attractive, and she would date him, despite the fact that he is a slow burner. And then Kacey Musgraves' "Slow Burn" starts playing in my head. ("I'm alright with a slow burn"). As I decided to rewrite the scripts for my "love story," the last part challenged me. Do you remember what Kat Valdez said in "Marry Me"? If you want something different, you have to do something different. So, you make a different decision. I thought long and hard about that statement. I believe that I'm

How I Met Your Father

Always write your own love story... So here I am painting my story on a canvas. Today I decided to do something slightly different. While I binge-watched the entire first season of "How I Met Your Father," something dawned on me. As a fan of the original "How I Met Your Mother," I was curious if the spin-off would match up. The series stars Hilary Duff, Christopher Lowell, Francia Raisa, Suraj Sharma, Tom Ainsley, Tien Tran, and Kim Cattrall. Cattrall plays the 2050 version of the protagonist and narrator, Sophie. She recounts to her unseen son the events that followed meeting his father in January 2022 and how they ultimately had him. Fans are shown Sophie, played by Hillary Duff, and her group of friends in New York City's Manhattan. The 10-episode series shows how these 20- and 30-somethings maneuver through their disastrous dating lives, assumedly post-pandemic. Here I am, using my imagination to create universe versions of "how I met your father."

The Classy Girl's Guide to Shooting Her Shot

Be an active participant in getting the relationship that you need and deserve! Bonjour, mes amies! Comment allez-vous? Gather around queens, this is a conversation for us. Can someone please bring me a glass of red wine? I really need this drink. In actual fact, bring the whole bottle. With a show of hands, who's been having challenges in the dating space? I mean just to get a date with a decent human being. I stand accused of crawling back into my crustacean shell and not putting myself out there. I dread the outside. Actually, ever since the robbery incident, I get anxiety just leaving the house. I'm anxious leaving my house, and anxious being in a place where I'm not sure how I'm going home. But I know that I'm not going to make any progress if I'm stuck at home. So please nudge me to go outside. Following constant reflection, I realised that I made a lot of poor choices in relationship avenue. As I evolve into an accountable adult, I have realised that I r

For Cock's Sake...Stop Blocking Me!

To be honest, I need to take charge of my own energy! I'm at the polar opposite end of the energy spectrum right now. Part of me is like an Energizer bunny full of life, and the other part of me just wants to be in bed all day. During Sunday brunch, I was catching up with my friends at church. Some shared stories about a wedding that they attended the day before. We ended up talking about our personal experiences with romantic relationships as a result of the conversation. From gaslighting partners to being unequally yoked to the one that got away, everyone had a riveting story. All I can say is that the streets aren't safe for singles. I keep telling my married friends and siblings to keep their picket-fence relationships. The grass ain't green out here. It's trampled savanna grass! The grass ain't green out here ... it's trampled savanna grass! Anyway, as we shared our singledom war stories, I was reminded of how one individual whom I revere literally cockb

Sing My Life: Break My Soul

Let's get ready for a renaissance of life! Following that rather intense article, I want to end my week on a high note. It just so happens that it's Bey Day! Not Beyoncé's birthday but rather the album release of Queen Bey' s seventh studio album,  RENAISSANCE . As per usual the internet is on fire as the Bey hive and music lovers listen in on the record. Remember it's been six years since Beyoncé released a Beyoncé record. 'Lemonade' had women of colour travelling through Bey's stages of anger. The artistic visuals paired with Warsan Shire's thought-provoking poetry still leave me shook. (Oh yes, 'Lemonade' visuals are my envision of black female hood). And 'Formation' is top of my morning playlist. Of course, there was the collaborative 'Black Is King', which was accompanied by the aesthetically pleasing visuals. Not to mention the plethora of African creatives on the award-winning record including my favourites Burna Boy

But Why Wait?

When you find what you are looking for, why wait?  She finally made it! Congratulations to the now Mrs Jennifer Affleck.  Jenny from the block is officially Mrs. Jennifer Lynn Affleck. It's official, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are married. According to news reports, the couple tied the knot on Saturday, during an "intimate ceremony in Las Vegas." This actually comes as a surprise because nothing is ever small, or intimate with J lo. For as long as we have known the Bronx native, she goes all out. We expected that her wedding would be as extravagant as her 'Marry Me' character.  Clearly she didn't want to jinx her second chance. The Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez a.k.a Bennifer's love story began 20 years ago. The couple initially met in December 2001 on the set of the rom-com "Gigli," where they played criminals stuck on a job together. Not long after that they started dating. By November 2002, the two were engaged, but postponed their weddin

Between Friends

I don't want to make it a thing, but I think that I see my friend differently. Yep! I had a halo moment with one of my closest and dearest friends. I've always appreciated him as a decent human being. He's actually my safe space. I love being around him and feeling comfortable to be myself. He is one of my biggest cheerleaders. I don't know what I would do without him. We spent the day together. We've both been going through different life struggles. We needed each other. To talk. Get things off the chest. Vent. And on my part even cry. And of course, there's always room for a shot or two. Honestly, I missed him. I've been so wrapped up in work that our schedules didn't match up. While stressful, I love the free time. Had forgotten that he's such a sweet man. We still disagree on a lot but who else do I want debates with. And yes, I do love him from the depths of my soul. And that's why, the idea of he and I shifting the platonic to romantic isn&

Greatest Love

'Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all." - Whitney Houston That song really hits home. One of my favourite Whitney Houston songs. My father would play this song and encourage me to meditate upon the lyrics. He said to me, "When the world doesn't show you love, just remember that the greatest love is inside you." And yes, enough the times did the lyrics of the late Nippy resound in my mind. Happy Valentines day y'all! My timeline is painted red, and drunk in love. Congratulations to all those who got a ring-on-it on this day! Wishing you all the best on your journey down to the aisle.  I sat with myself and said, somewhere, somehow you ought to be green with envy or feel lonely, or slightly bitter. But I'm not. Apart from a very hectic day, I had a glass of wine and I'm reading a book about 'developing your conversion capability.' And listening to Ariana Grande's 'pov'. I love this song! There's a song that I