Skip to main content

The Case of the Ghost

If you decide to ghost, then stay dead!



I'm riled up and thinking WTF? Who the hell does he think he is? Trying to walk out of the tomb like the Messiah! Degage!

But I also realised that I wasn't over it. IT! The hurt and humiliation of being ghosted. The humiliation of being relegated to side chick. And the pain of going through loss alone. Who the hell does he think he is ... in my life?

After many years, I bumped into him at a recent event. Actually, he called out my name and followed me. I don't know why he thought that he and I were Gucci. For two years, that guy was a poltergeist.He didn't reach out to me to explain his behaviour. He didn't send me a birthday message. No communication. Obviously, out of sight, out of mind.And then he has the nerve to call out my full government name.

Honestly, I was inebriated and had no time for his nonsense. But he started saying that he and I needed to talk. He thought that I was his girl. He missed me. I'm literally rolling my eyes as I write this. I just said to him, "Where were you all this time?" No response. Then he had the audacity to try to kiss me. Did he think that he was going to get lucky and have a hanky-panky revision avec moi?

He went ghost; he better stay dead.

Actually, he is dead to me! Despite same social and work circles and having a mutual friend.

He ghosted me. C'est tout!

According to the urban dictionary, ghosting is the act of suddenly ceasing all communication, with friends or someone who you were dating. In our digital age, the ghoster blocks the "ghostee" from being able to communicate with them across all platforms. This is then extended to real life, where they disappear.

The ghoster does this in hopes that the ghosted will just "get the hint" and leave them alone. This is often indicative of the ghost's inability to communicate and deal with conflict. In short, they are immature. In dating, the ghost opts to neglect communicating their true feelings when they are no longer interested.

Ghosts are selfish and immature individuals who fail to comprehend the side effects. This act can create self-doubt in the ghosted. They are left wondering about their worth, and what they did wrong. This act can also unravel childhood or adolescent wounds. These include abandonment and emotional neglect.

Why did this particular ghost get me livid? It reflected my failure to make good choices. To give time and attention to someone who was worth it. Someone who respected me, and the effort that I put into the relationship. It triggered my heartache from Mr. X. The heartache of rejection, being strung along and unmet expectations. It triggered my lack of self-worth - that I will never be worthy of a committed and loving relationship. 

He hurt me. 

And I realised that I need to get that page of my life of my chest. I need to open up and begin the healing process. 

As for ghosts, stop thinking that you are being slick by leaving an unclosed door. It is a terrible assumption that because there's no closure, you can regain access. Grow up and take accountability for your bull sh*t.

For some reason I feel sad, sigh.

How does one cast out ghosts? 

Shine light, pray and overcome your fears.

P.S.: Always write your own love story!

Lady E 

Ciao!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Inspired By A Thread

Colour blind is ignorance when all you see is red... ...learn your colours! Oi, you lovely lot! Whaddup, 'ow's it goin'? I’m gettin’ there, innit? Just takin’ me time, you know how it is. A while ago, I scrolled down my timeline, and I came across an interesting thread on X. Actually the responses were wild, but it had me thinking, I would love my readers to share their own experiences. The question was as follows; What was the craziest thing that you've done to investigate a man? Fam, the responses in this thread are worthy of scripts. Don't play with a woman who wants the truth. She has better investigative skills than any intelligence agency. This led me - actually inspired me to share my own personal experiences. My life is so ironical. I like keeping my relationships on the low because my ego can't handle the humiliation if things don't work out. However, drama seems to ensue whenever I decide to allow a male into my space. Of late, I realised that I ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Single ladies: Wife material

MPV.....my point of view! Single Ladies: Wifen Material *Royal wave*Hey single ladies,your guide is back.The pursuit for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It is on.Today I would like to make you a get-a-ring-on-it lady. Now following my articles,'Single Ladies Part 3',where I talked about the prince searching for a 'real princess',or 'Queen';and 'Brown Sugar',where the word 'brown sugar' was defined as wifen material,I would like to talk about 'wifey material'.(Whether we are that). How do we single ladies get that ring-on-it,you ask?By being wifey material.My uncle keeps on telling me,'If you want to become Mrs X,you should be a wife.You are a wife before he puts a ring on it'.What he means is that,a man will treat you the way you portray yourself.How,you ask? Ever noticed the difference between a wife and a girlfriend.Now let me break it down for you.A girlfriend usually,takes life in a more leisurely way;unlike a wife,whose focus is mo...
Post a Comment
Read more

I'm Ready

Por qué me siento así, mi amor? Lo podemos culpar a Cupido!   Bring on the tissues, and a tub of ice cream, and Amarula cream. Cupid really picked on me and not at the best time. And then 'Stupid Cupid' starts playing. Bonjour single ladies! Forgive me for the dramatic entrance, but I feel like a hopelessly enamoured teenager. Remember  le garçon du chocolat ? Oui. Well, what started off as a crush, has developed into more. Could I be in-love? Umm... But I think that the sparks have fizzled out on his end. Throwing myself on the couch.  Why am I this person, though? Am I setting myself up for possibly another heartbreak after recovering from a not so recent one? Like, le garçon du chocolat lives rent free in my mind, and mostly in my dreams. Am I supposed to feel like this actually? Gosh, I feel so embarrassed with my grown self.   So while, I'm manoeuvring through my emotions, let's talk about starting all over again with a renewed perspective. Gather around ladies,...
Post a Comment
Read more

Take Care

“I know that you’ve been hurt, by someone else I can tell by the way, you carry yourself But if you let me, here’s what I’ll do I’ll take care of you.”-Take Care, Drake featuring Rihanna So in the episode 9 of season 3 of ‘ 2 Broke Girls ’ Max tries to get into pastry school after Caroline finds out that she had interest in being a pastry chef through a brochure found under Max’s mattress. Max is assigned to make a tart as a form of ‘interview’ and the head chef, Nicolas approves of the tart however Max receives a letter of regret saying that she didn’t get into the pastry school. Max decides to confront the chef who tells her that it was her attitude that he had a problem with and not her tart. According to Chef Nicolas, “You seemed like you didn’t want it,” and then Max replies, “I act like I don’t want it because I have never gotten what I wanted!” There, right there is where I related to Max, the part of life (and people) rejecting you to the point that you become indifferent ...
Post a Comment
Read more

I'm Every Woman!

"I'm every woman, it's all in me Anything you want done, baby, I'll do it naturally",  I'm Every Woman by Whitney Houston (originally Chaka Khan).... God I miss Whitney! Happy Women's Month, with this article being posted a day after 'International Women's Day'! If there's one group that knows how to own a month, it's definitely WOMEN! Have you checked out all the records released in the past five to seven decades about femaledom? Y'all my playlist is full!  We run the world, we are superwoman, we just wanna have fun and most recently, we are 'Mambokadzi' (Shona for Queen ). It doesn't get any better than that. So what does Women's Day mean to me? With millions of women and allies across the globe celebrating this annual event, this day speaks volumes! It's more than just a day, or month, but a complete revolution dating back to the 1950s, and even centuries before. My experience with this day...
Post a Comment
Read more