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The Case of the Ghost

If you decide to ghost, then stay dead!



I'm riled up and thinking WTF? Who the hell does he think he is? Trying to walk out of the tomb like the Messiah! Degage!

But I also realised that I wasn't over it. IT! The hurt and humiliation of being ghosted. The humiliation of being relegated to side chick. And the pain of going through loss alone. Who the hell does he think he is ... in my life?

After many years, I bumped into him at a recent event. Actually, he called out my name and followed me. I don't know why he thought that he and I were Gucci. For two years, that guy was a poltergeist.He didn't reach out to me to explain his behaviour. He didn't send me a birthday message. No communication. Obviously, out of sight, out of mind.And then he has the nerve to call out my full government name.

Honestly, I was inebriated and had no time for his nonsense. But he started saying that he and I needed to talk. He thought that I was his girl. He missed me. I'm literally rolling my eyes as I write this. I just said to him, "Where were you all this time?" No response. Then he had the audacity to try to kiss me. Did he think that he was going to get lucky and have a hanky-panky revision avec moi?

He went ghost; he better stay dead.

Actually, he is dead to me! Despite same social and work circles and having a mutual friend.

He ghosted me. C'est tout!

According to the urban dictionary, ghosting is the act of suddenly ceasing all communication, with friends or someone who you were dating. In our digital age, the ghoster blocks the "ghostee" from being able to communicate with them across all platforms. This is then extended to real life, where they disappear.

The ghoster does this in hopes that the ghosted will just "get the hint" and leave them alone. This is often indicative of the ghost's inability to communicate and deal with conflict. In short, they are immature. In dating, the ghost opts to neglect communicating their true feelings when they are no longer interested.

Ghosts are selfish and immature individuals who fail to comprehend the side effects. This act can create self-doubt in the ghosted. They are left wondering about their worth, and what they did wrong. This act can also unravel childhood or adolescent wounds. These include abandonment and emotional neglect.

Why did this particular ghost get me livid? It reflected my failure to make good choices. To give time and attention to someone who was worth it. Someone who respected me, and the effort that I put into the relationship. It triggered my heartache from Mr. X. The heartache of rejection, being strung along and unmet expectations. It triggered my lack of self-worth - that I will never be worthy of a committed and loving relationship. 

He hurt me. 

And I realised that I need to get that page of my life of my chest. I need to open up and begin the healing process. 

As for ghosts, stop thinking that you are being slick by leaving an unclosed door. It is a terrible assumption that because there's no closure, you can regain access. Grow up and take accountability for your bull sh*t.

For some reason I feel sad, sigh.

How does one cast out ghosts? 

Shine light, pray and overcome your fears.

P.S.: Always write your own love story!

Lady E 

Ciao!

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