Skip to main content

Are You Friend Zoning Your Soulmate?

Your perfect match could be right under your nose!


And then Colby O'donis' 'Under My Nose' starts playing. As the lyrics play, I can't help reflect on a recent experience that has me wondering - could he be right under my nose, and I've been too blind to see?

Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? Ça va! Bring your wine glasses with you and let's have a chat. So, I've been doing some serious self-reflection after our last discussion. There's a lot of unpacking required  and I really need to let go, so that I heal. Healing leads to new beginnings. And hopefully, happy endings - metaphorically that is.

We all know the friendzone - that comfortable space where we stash away people we care about but don't see as romantic partners. But could our so-called 'friends' actually be meant for more? 

Lately I've been reflecting on a close acquaintance of mine whom I've realized I may have been unintentionally 'friendzoning.' We've grown very familiar with one another over the past season, or so of spending time together regularly. I appreciate how safe and comfortable I feel around him. We click on almost every level but platonic never crossed my mind. That was until the other day when our usual handshake lingered into a moment. Electricity sparked in a way that defied explanation, as if the universe was trying to tell us something. Now I can't get those soul-searching eyes out of my head!

So have I been friendzoning my potential soulmate?

As someone who prides herself on being open-minded, even I've been guilty of dismissing potential based on preconceived notions. 

So what is a soulmate really? A soulmate is generally defined as a person with whom you share a deep romantic connection and understanding. In many cultures, it refers to a deep connection that transcends physical or temporal worlds. Some religious traditions such as in Hinduism it's known as "sakhi" and in Chinese tradition as "红线." 

In popular culture, the idea of the soulmate is quite romanticized. We've all seen the movies where two people meet and an instant spark and recognition takes place. But research shows the soulmate connection can form more gradually through friendship too. 

According to research, nearly 70% of relationships begin as friendships first before developing into something more. Often the intimacy and trust formed between friends can cultivate greater attraction over time that was not obvious at first. Platonic relationships can deepen into soulmate levels of care, respect and understanding if both parties are open to exploring that potential. 

Most people have probably friendzoned someone who in hindsight, could have been "the One." The boundaries of friendship and attraction can certainly blur over time as two people fall into an easy emotional intimacy through shared experiences and understanding. 

A quote from novelist David Nicholls resonates - "A soulmate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communication and understanding between you were effortless.” Could the ease in which my 'friend' (loosely used term), and I interact mask a deeper soulmate connection worth exploring?

"A soulmate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communication and understanding between you were effortless.”

Research even shows long-term partners often experience physiological synchronization too. As Rumi said, "Lovers don't finally meet somewhere, they're in each other all along."

Could familiarity and comfort be masking a deeper bond worth exploring? I'm rethinking what I thought I knew and realizing the person who understands me best just might be the one I never allowed myself to see as a possibility before. 

It's got me wondering - how many of us could be missing out on love because we've friendzoned our perfect match? Food for thought, no? Only time will tell if I've been guilty of it too...

Have you overlooked your soulmate by keeping them securely in the friendzone?

A prochaine fois ....

Look around you, beside you, and inside you,

....and be open to to the possibility of love!

P.S. Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E

Comments

Popular Posts

Between Friends

I don't want to make it a thing, but I think that I see my friend differently. Yep! I had a halo moment with one of my closest and dearest friends. I've always appreciated him as a decent human being. He's actually my safe space. I love being around him and feeling comfortable to be myself. He is one of my biggest cheerleaders. I don't know what I would do without him. We spent the day together. We've both been going through different life struggles. We needed each other. To talk. Get things off the chest. Vent. And on my part even cry. And of course, there's always room for a shot or two. Honestly, I missed him. I've been so wrapped up in work that our schedules didn't match up. While stressful, I love the free time. Had forgotten that he's such a sweet man. We still disagree on a lot but who else do I want debates with. And yes, I do love him from the depths of my soul. And that's why, the idea of he and I shifting the platonic to romantic isn...

I Don't Love It Like I Used To

Maybe it's just me giving up, but I'm just tired. Today is actually the due date for a project. I haven't even finished it. I've pressured to complete it, but I don't have zeal for it. Deep down in my core, I just want it to die. I used to love it, but I don't, anymore. Ever felt so overwhelmed by life? I think that's where I am at. I don't enjoy hobbies or passions anymore. Writing this blog is becoming an exhausting activity, yet here I am. I guess it's because I perceive myself as a failure. I'm not where I want to be. The passion and the commitment that I once had, is snuffed out like a candle. I really want things to work out. I want to get to a place of freedom, particularly financial freedom. I dread and loathe fame, but I do want the recognition for my great contribution. My name shouldn't be in obscurity yet I give so much of myself and my work. Maybe something will ignite the fire. Until the next time... Lady E Ciao!

It's Your Own Race, Stay In Your Lane

You might miss out on enjoying what's around you because you're rushing to the infinite finish line! I'm exhausted at this moment! Some days I kick myself for having missed opportunities due to pride or naïvety. At times I suffer from FOMO like the rest of our generation as I scroll down my Instagram timeline. I think my LinkedIn makes me feel worse, as I fall short on qualifications. But as I write this, I know that I'm not where I used to be. I worked damn hard - walking, getting sunburnt, looking disheveled, sleepless nights, and no social life. I'm nowhere near halfway to where I really want to be, but the pandemic has taught me to 'count it all joy.' So why do I continuously feel the pressure 'to be'? Tu ne comprends pas la question? It seems that everywhere I go, people are suffering from the “hustle culture” pandemic. By hustle culture, I mean the collective urge we currently seem to feel as a society to work harder, stronger, faster.(Then Daf...

The Faults of Karma

Karma is nobody's friend so don't bet on her! “What goes around comes around, what goes up must come down, now who’s crying, desiring to come back to me,”-Karma, Alicia Keys I remember this one day by the traffic lights as my mentor walked me towards the rank where I got my transport to go home and he said to me, “I believe that one day you will be very successful and rise and Mr X will be at his lowest point and realise that you were a good one…that he shouldn’t have let go!” Bless my mentor’s heart, apart from men in my family; he’s the only man who sees me. To be honest it’s been four years since the Mr X incident or ‘situationship’, two of those I have neither bumped into him nor (and hallelujah) ‘stalked’ him (oh, please, don’t even judge me, the man was stalking me too, remember he used to read my blogs on his platform, and even spent the whole night looking over my table at a bar, so it was mutual). Unfortunately he and I very much share a very small circle, being i...

Script My Life: 2 Broke Girls

When talent meets determination...anything can happen! Believe it or not,I have been kind of blank on what to write today,but since I love television, my script is from one of my favourite sitcoms, 2 Broke Girls. This TV show actually inspired me to really pursue my dream of being an 'media mogul',(I will get there eventually) .the one most valuable lesson I have learnt from 2 Broke Girls is "a dollar can build an empire". Max and Caroline are two, yes, broke girls living in New York, (there is something about the Big Apple), and working as waitresses. They have a dream of owning a cupcake shop. The plan. They sell their cupcakes, to get the capital. They are not waiting for a large some of money to start their business, but with every cent they make, with the little they have,they are a step towards their dream. At my church,our pastor preached the first sermon series called, "Whatcha gonna do with whatcha have?". I was challenged.I do not have a mill...