Skip to main content

Are You Friend Zoning Your Soulmate?

Your perfect match could be right under your nose!


And then Colby O'donis' 'Under My Nose' starts playing. As the lyrics play, I can't help reflect on a recent experience that has me wondering - could he be right under my nose, and I've been too blind to see?

Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? Ça va! Bring your wine glasses with you and let's have a chat. So, I've been doing some serious self-reflection after our last discussion. There's a lot of unpacking required  and I really need to let go, so that I heal. Healing leads to new beginnings. And hopefully, happy endings - metaphorically that is.

We all know the friendzone - that comfortable space where we stash away people we care about but don't see as romantic partners. But could our so-called 'friends' actually be meant for more? 

Lately I've been reflecting on a close acquaintance of mine whom I've realized I may have been unintentionally 'friendzoning.' We've grown very familiar with one another over the past season, or so of spending time together regularly. I appreciate how safe and comfortable I feel around him. We click on almost every level but platonic never crossed my mind. That was until the other day when our usual handshake lingered into a moment. Electricity sparked in a way that defied explanation, as if the universe was trying to tell us something. Now I can't get those soul-searching eyes out of my head!

So have I been friendzoning my potential soulmate?

As someone who prides herself on being open-minded, even I've been guilty of dismissing potential based on preconceived notions. 

So what is a soulmate really? A soulmate is generally defined as a person with whom you share a deep romantic connection and understanding. In many cultures, it refers to a deep connection that transcends physical or temporal worlds. Some religious traditions such as in Hinduism it's known as "sakhi" and in Chinese tradition as "红线." 

In popular culture, the idea of the soulmate is quite romanticized. We've all seen the movies where two people meet and an instant spark and recognition takes place. But research shows the soulmate connection can form more gradually through friendship too. 

According to research, nearly 70% of relationships begin as friendships first before developing into something more. Often the intimacy and trust formed between friends can cultivate greater attraction over time that was not obvious at first. Platonic relationships can deepen into soulmate levels of care, respect and understanding if both parties are open to exploring that potential. 

Most people have probably friendzoned someone who in hindsight, could have been "the One." The boundaries of friendship and attraction can certainly blur over time as two people fall into an easy emotional intimacy through shared experiences and understanding. 

A quote from novelist David Nicholls resonates - "A soulmate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communication and understanding between you were effortless.” Could the ease in which my 'friend' (loosely used term), and I interact mask a deeper soulmate connection worth exploring?

"A soulmate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communication and understanding between you were effortless.”

Research even shows long-term partners often experience physiological synchronization too. As Rumi said, "Lovers don't finally meet somewhere, they're in each other all along."

Could familiarity and comfort be masking a deeper bond worth exploring? I'm rethinking what I thought I knew and realizing the person who understands me best just might be the one I never allowed myself to see as a possibility before. 

It's got me wondering - how many of us could be missing out on love because we've friendzoned our perfect match? Food for thought, no? Only time will tell if I've been guilty of it too...

Have you overlooked your soulmate by keeping them securely in the friendzone?

A prochaine fois ....

Look around you, beside you, and inside you,

....and be open to to the possibility of love!

P.S. Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E

Comments

Popular Posts

Single ladies: Wife material

MPV.....my point of view! Single Ladies: Wifen Material *Royal wave*Hey single ladies,your guide is back.The pursuit for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It is on.Today I would like to make you a get-a-ring-on-it lady. Now following my articles,'Single Ladies Part 3',where I talked about the prince searching for a 'real princess',or 'Queen';and 'Brown Sugar',where the word 'brown sugar' was defined as wifen material,I would like to talk about 'wifey material'.(Whether we are that). How do we single ladies get that ring-on-it,you ask?By being wifey material.My uncle keeps on telling me,'If you want to become Mrs X,you should be a wife.You are a wife before he puts a ring on it'.What he means is that,a man will treat you the way you portray yourself.How,you ask? Ever noticed the difference between a wife and a girlfriend.Now let me break it down for you.A girlfriend usually,takes life in a more leisurely way;unlike a wife,whose focus is mo...

Like A Love Song

The best ever written love song isn't perfect but it works! 'I,I love you like a love song baby,I,I love you like a love song,babe.....',young Selena Gomez singing,and vocalising what we would all take love as...a LOVE song. The love song. Women can only dream about being loved the way Gerald Levert put it,'made to love you', or have 'this love' a la Donell Jones. And I'm not talking about the exaggerated 'catching of grenades','crossing oceans',drinking of lovers' bath waters.But a love that leaves one gasping for air as they try to breathe in,a love that gives one warm fuzzy feelings inside.A love that also stands the test of time,and conquers all. But is the impression we are given by love songs similar to real relationships?Would a man not want to be 'mad' like Ne-yo, or beg you to 'stay' like Tyrese? Some may agree,whilst others would be at the other end of the pole. In the mean time men might find Beyonc...

Winter ABC Day 14: 5 Africans Who Inspire Me

I told you that this week is awesome! I love Africa! I love the people even more! I love our diversity in skin tones. I love our various languages that include clicks, coughs and long syllables. Our traditions may differ but they are somewhat intertwined. Africa isn't just the cradle of mankind. It is the stew pot of talent, intelligence and creativity. I procrastinated for a long time about writing about my African inspirations. With this challenge I have the opportunity to take action. My top 5 list includes creatives from various genres of media, arts and entertainment. As a creative myself,  I incline naturally towards those who are like myself. It is true that, 'birds of the same feather, flock together,' and away do I fly with the eagles. Without further due, below are the 5 Africans who inspire me. 1. Bonang Matheba Did you know that Bonang Matheba and I were born a week and a half apart in 1987? Now you know! I live vicariously through queen B!  She is my ...

I Ain't Got My Shit Together

It's okay that I'm not the ideal because I'm a work in progress! I was listening to Brandy's discography and then I resonated with the lyrics to 'Camouflage'. I love the part when she sings, " And God knows I ain't perfect, Tell me who in the world is, All I know is that I'm searching, For somebody to love me with." Yes, then I recall my many arguments with Sagittarius. Always fighting dirty and hitting below the belt. As I have previously highlighted, I asked of him, to step up and meet me halfway. That's what normal people in a relationship do, right? Attempting reverse psychology on me, he would state that I thought of myself as 'perfect'. Whilst I chastised him, not to be condescending, but to make the relationship 'work', but I was the villain. He would be petty and sulk that he's always wrong with me instead of taking responsibility. Sigh! I wish that he chose to understand that I'm far from perfect. I hav...

Before We Lay

“Every father bears a fundamental obligation to do right by their children,” - Barack Obama With the hype and quotes around Michelle Obama’s book, ‘Becoming’, Barack seems to be the ‘ideal man’. Of course he is only human and bound to err, but for purposes of this discussion, his quotes are a point of reference. We live in an age of great access to information whether negative or positive. We are also in a space for more conversation about sexual liberation. In a previous post, I shared about the modern woman owning her sexuality. And I still stand firmly by that stance, because ownership of one’s sexuality also reflects upon other areas of their life. That point was also touched on, when I discussed about celibacy. The point is that we are in charge of what mostly happens in our lives based on our ‘choices’. Part of choice is being responsible and accountable. Responsibility isn’t fun to be honest but it’s necessary especially for maturity. In other parts of our liv...