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Are You Friend Zoning Your Soulmate?

Your perfect match could be right under your nose!


And then Colby O'donis' 'Under My Nose' starts playing. As the lyrics play, I can't help reflect on a recent experience that has me wondering - could he be right under my nose, and I've been too blind to see?

Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? Ça va! Bring your wine glasses with you and let's have a chat. So, I've been doing some serious self-reflection after our last discussion. There's a lot of unpacking required  and I really need to let go, so that I heal. Healing leads to new beginnings. And hopefully, happy endings - metaphorically that is.

We all know the friendzone - that comfortable space where we stash away people we care about but don't see as romantic partners. But could our so-called 'friends' actually be meant for more? 

Lately I've been reflecting on a close acquaintance of mine whom I've realized I may have been unintentionally 'friendzoning.' We've grown very familiar with one another over the past season, or so of spending time together regularly. I appreciate how safe and comfortable I feel around him. We click on almost every level but platonic never crossed my mind. That was until the other day when our usual handshake lingered into a moment. Electricity sparked in a way that defied explanation, as if the universe was trying to tell us something. Now I can't get those soul-searching eyes out of my head!

So have I been friendzoning my potential soulmate?

As someone who prides herself on being open-minded, even I've been guilty of dismissing potential based on preconceived notions. 

So what is a soulmate really? A soulmate is generally defined as a person with whom you share a deep romantic connection and understanding. In many cultures, it refers to a deep connection that transcends physical or temporal worlds. Some religious traditions such as in Hinduism it's known as "sakhi" and in Chinese tradition as "红线." 

In popular culture, the idea of the soulmate is quite romanticized. We've all seen the movies where two people meet and an instant spark and recognition takes place. But research shows the soulmate connection can form more gradually through friendship too. 

According to research, nearly 70% of relationships begin as friendships first before developing into something more. Often the intimacy and trust formed between friends can cultivate greater attraction over time that was not obvious at first. Platonic relationships can deepen into soulmate levels of care, respect and understanding if both parties are open to exploring that potential. 

Most people have probably friendzoned someone who in hindsight, could have been "the One." The boundaries of friendship and attraction can certainly blur over time as two people fall into an easy emotional intimacy through shared experiences and understanding. 

A quote from novelist David Nicholls resonates - "A soulmate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communication and understanding between you were effortless.” Could the ease in which my 'friend' (loosely used term), and I interact mask a deeper soulmate connection worth exploring?

"A soulmate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communication and understanding between you were effortless.”

Research even shows long-term partners often experience physiological synchronization too. As Rumi said, "Lovers don't finally meet somewhere, they're in each other all along."

Could familiarity and comfort be masking a deeper bond worth exploring? I'm rethinking what I thought I knew and realizing the person who understands me best just might be the one I never allowed myself to see as a possibility before. 

It's got me wondering - how many of us could be missing out on love because we've friendzoned our perfect match? Food for thought, no? Only time will tell if I've been guilty of it too...

Have you overlooked your soulmate by keeping them securely in the friendzone?

A prochaine fois ....

Look around you, beside you, and inside you,

....and be open to to the possibility of love!

P.S. Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E

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