Skip to main content

Are You Friend Zoning Your Soulmate?

Your perfect match could be right under your nose!


And then Colby O'donis' 'Under My Nose' starts playing. As the lyrics play, I can't help reflect on a recent experience that has me wondering - could he be right under my nose, and I've been too blind to see?

Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? Ça va! Bring your wine glasses with you and let's have a chat. So, I've been doing some serious self-reflection after our last discussion. There's a lot of unpacking required  and I really need to let go, so that I heal. Healing leads to new beginnings. And hopefully, happy endings - metaphorically that is.

We all know the friendzone - that comfortable space where we stash away people we care about but don't see as romantic partners. But could our so-called 'friends' actually be meant for more? 

Lately I've been reflecting on a close acquaintance of mine whom I've realized I may have been unintentionally 'friendzoning.' We've grown very familiar with one another over the past season, or so of spending time together regularly. I appreciate how safe and comfortable I feel around him. We click on almost every level but platonic never crossed my mind. That was until the other day when our usual handshake lingered into a moment. Electricity sparked in a way that defied explanation, as if the universe was trying to tell us something. Now I can't get those soul-searching eyes out of my head!

So have I been friendzoning my potential soulmate?

As someone who prides herself on being open-minded, even I've been guilty of dismissing potential based on preconceived notions. 

So what is a soulmate really? A soulmate is generally defined as a person with whom you share a deep romantic connection and understanding. In many cultures, it refers to a deep connection that transcends physical or temporal worlds. Some religious traditions such as in Hinduism it's known as "sakhi" and in Chinese tradition as "红线." 

In popular culture, the idea of the soulmate is quite romanticized. We've all seen the movies where two people meet and an instant spark and recognition takes place. But research shows the soulmate connection can form more gradually through friendship too. 

According to research, nearly 70% of relationships begin as friendships first before developing into something more. Often the intimacy and trust formed between friends can cultivate greater attraction over time that was not obvious at first. Platonic relationships can deepen into soulmate levels of care, respect and understanding if both parties are open to exploring that potential. 

Most people have probably friendzoned someone who in hindsight, could have been "the One." The boundaries of friendship and attraction can certainly blur over time as two people fall into an easy emotional intimacy through shared experiences and understanding. 

A quote from novelist David Nicholls resonates - "A soulmate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communication and understanding between you were effortless.” Could the ease in which my 'friend' (loosely used term), and I interact mask a deeper soulmate connection worth exploring?

"A soulmate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communication and understanding between you were effortless.”

Research even shows long-term partners often experience physiological synchronization too. As Rumi said, "Lovers don't finally meet somewhere, they're in each other all along."

Could familiarity and comfort be masking a deeper bond worth exploring? I'm rethinking what I thought I knew and realizing the person who understands me best just might be the one I never allowed myself to see as a possibility before. 

It's got me wondering - how many of us could be missing out on love because we've friendzoned our perfect match? Food for thought, no? Only time will tell if I've been guilty of it too...

Have you overlooked your soulmate by keeping them securely in the friendzone?

A prochaine fois ....

Look around you, beside you, and inside you,

....and be open to to the possibility of love!

P.S. Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E

Comments

Popular Posts

My Point of View!

If I could afford one,I would have a shrink,but instead I have my point of view! There are days where I will write long blogs,others,I will keep it short and sweet,but at the end of the day,it is my therapy.But I also do intend to make an impact with this MPV. That's just me! P.S: Always write your own love story. Ciao! Lady E

Dirty Laundry Diaries: The Journey

My Beloved Mr. X   Dear Mr. X  You told me about this journey, a journey you embarked on, hoped that it would go on. You got into your car and you drove and she was on the passenger side; you headed for your destination. But the car broke down, the tyre went flat, and you both couldn't agree. You told her to wait, whilst you fixed the car, but she went on the other side of the road to catch another ride. Someone should have said, slow down, you will crash, and you will drive off the hill. Slow, you will burn; you will hit the wall.  Slow down, because you were an accident waiting to happen, or maybe a car going nowhere. Slow down; think about it before you take this journey. I was waiting on the highway, hoping to hitch a ride. Then you stopped your car, you smiled at me and your eyes seemed so kind. You opened the door and said let’s go, so I jumped right in and sat on the passenger’s side. It felt so right for you and me to be on this journey, actually, I though...

Single Ladies: The Metrosexual

*Riding on a black horse* (I wish).* Beyoncé  wave* 'Hey single ladies!'. For a lady on a quest, the horse would have been ideal,right? Anyway ,how have y'all been? I hope the lessons that we are going through are helping us build character. (Wifen material). Today we have yet another bachelor under our radar. So we have so far, gone through our potential Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It who has been bachelor; the widower, the divorcee, the foreigner, the boy and last but not least, the single dad. Not so bad ladies. Now bachelor number six is,the metrosexual. Now why should we place such a man on our panel,you ask? Well,he is my personal favourite *wink*. The anatomy of a metrosexual. By definition a metrosexual is an urban man with a disposable income who spends a lot on his appearances. In other words, a guy's guy who is in touch with his inner pink. Now why would a metrosexual be a good candidate for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It? He is not. Most metrosexual men, if not gay, or...

Script My Life: Love By the 10th Date

Finding love shouldn’t be a duty but it should be a journey that you enjoy the ride while you get to it... I don’t remember when was the last time I related to a number of female characters in one movie. I finally watched Lifetime movie ‘Love By the 10th Date’.  The trailer to the movie, written and directed by Nzingha Stewart, enticed me for a good chick flick...about women of colour. The all star cast includes the gorgeous Kelly Rowland, Meagan Good, Keri Hilson and Kellee Smith. We also see Cat Deely, Joshua T Jackson, Andra Fuller and UnReal’s Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman. The story line follows a group of young, successful black friends who work for a high end, digital magazine Nina. The protagonist is Gabrielle Fateful a.k.a Gabby played by Meagan Good. Gabby is a graphic designer at Nina whose love life is an actual struggle. The scene that kickstarts the plot of the movie is when Gabby goes out for dinner with friends and workmates, Margot (Kelly Rowland), Bi...

Baa baa Black Sheep

‘Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full One for the master, One for the dame, One for the little boy who lives down the lane.”-Baa baa Black Sheep, Nursery Rhyme Oh how I loved nursery school! Learning was so much fun and colourful as the teachers taught using music, visuals and lots of play and let’s not forget nap time! Gosh! (I stare into a blank space with so much nostalgia). Hmm, question! Is there more to life than trying to constantly fit into other people’s moulds? Are my imperfections so great that those around are blinded to the planks to the planks in their own eyes? Or maybe I am just not appropriately in the right place? At one point or another, we all have faced identity issues, or have suffered from the ‘I don’t fit in’ syndrome. The worst time is the puberty-adolescent period. As an individual, one tries to live up to expectations from parents, teachers, peers and society at large. During that same period, an ...