Skip to main content

The Case of Round Two

Kea lumela hore ke rata lintho!

A black woman regretting being in bed with a black man



And most of the time it's bad for my process of becoming. So I'm trying to be subtle, but...
 
I met a ghost from my past. Not an unpleasant one at all. just someone I didn't necessarily expect. Seeing and being around him reminded me of the vulnerability that I'm afraid of experiencing. I met Michael again.


Yep. And I realised that two years later I sort of like him....a lot. Yet, he remains complicated. But on the other hand, he's still a good kisser. (And Usher's "Good Kisser" drums start playing in the background). Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez vous? Bring your glasses; let's gather around and chat. I'm having a nice, not wine-related drink that I'm going to regret in the morning because of a hangover. I don't know why I'm this person, though. 

Michael, Michael, Michael. U tsoa kae? O romilwe ke mang? Coming to mess up my chakras again! I know that being comfortable in his calm presence is just for two minutes because uzobe eyisipoko, and next time you will see him on a wedding Instagram media page with the love story to his wedding. To another woman! Why did I entertain him, you ask? I believe that I've got my defences up, Alcatraz fences, and the emotional condom wrapped tightly, so I'm Teflon. So I think!

When he came through at an event, he looked familiar, but I had amnesia. He then showed familiarity towards me, to which I asked, "Where do I know you from?" He gave hints as if we were playing 30-seconds, and I remembered. He then showed me that he still has my number.  Me thinks, manje? In the words of Shania Twain, "that don't impress me much." Having my number and not using it doesn't make any sense, or mean anything to me. Like was he expecting me to give him a Merit badge or Purple Heart for keeping my full name and phone number? I on the other hand, honestly spring-cleaned his number out of my contacts when I wrote about him the first time. And got amnesia! Kuyakhombisa ukuthi bengingenandaba naye after that. Oh so I thought.

So petite moi, asked him why he ghosted me? He stated that he didn't ghost me. Erm. And there was back and forth. I won't lie; I kept looking at Michael pensive and thinking, "Hmm, he's actually much handsome than I remember." Not the frog that I remember kissing, yet he wasn't my prince, although he's charming. In an attempt to redeem himself, I told him that he was my ride home. And I entertained him. And he was attentive in the way that I like. You would think that I have evolved. Pray for me. (Makes a crucifix sign.)

Shem! I let my guard down. Let him deafen me with sweet nothings from his honey laced tongue. And those words dripped sweetly. The forehead kiss was the icing on the cake because it seemed warm and sincere. Again, why am I this person? He did drop me off at home, and I saved his phone number. Pourquoi? (Shaking my head) I texted him. Someone please, just pull me back. Hobaneng ke sa ithute?

And we are back here... AGAIN!

Unlike the last time, I don't believe that I have caught feelings. What we need to unlearn is the notion that "this time might be different." A lot can happen over a period of time. We believe that people change, or situations are different. Every once in a while, we meet that person who makes you wonder, "What if?" Like that one person you have this undescribable connection with. Michael wasn't particularly special to me the first time that he and I met. Remember, he wasn't physically or interactively 'my type'. But I guess that I liked the comfort of feeling somewhat safe. Like his arms feel like 'home', I kid you not! (Becomes coy and hides face) He and I exchanged intelligent conversations. And he's attentive. That made him a more interesting person. He has manners and is a 'gentleman' per se. So I don't want to vilify him. Instead, I'm trying to be accountable about allowing the likes of him to steer me off my path. "No" is a fantastic word in the English language. Yet I use it less than when it's necessary.

This time around I'm listening to my board of directors. Libandla yami lithi, hlukhana lo Michael. Lady E, we've been here before friend. Don't let the nerdy and gentleman persona fool you. F**ckboys come in different packages. Is Michael a f**ckboy? Unfortunately, he's got more red than the Confederate flag, yet it's not as obvious. He's a cute nerd who is unassuming, and that's the reason why I caught unnecessary feelings the first time. Again, I'm not here to vilify him. This is introspection before jumping into a lake of poor choices. Grown women don't make mistakes, we make choices," Amanda Seales. Discern and let's choose wisely.

Grown women don't make mistakes, we make choices. 

- Amanda Seales.


So ladies, the lesson here is that while we like the Michaels of the world, ask yourself: What's the offer? Are there intentions with you, and what sort? Is this a cruise ship, friendship, relationship, or situationship? Botsa seo o se batlang ho nna? If you intend to be with a king, stop entertaining court jesters. Over here, we love Kings. Led by them. Serve them. Revere them with loyalty. But we need discernment. 

If you intend to be with a king, stop entertaining court jesters.

 
So in the case of round two, I stand accused and guilty of not learning from the first experience. A frog is a frog no matter how many times you kiss it. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maya Angelou 

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. 
- Maya Angelou

Boloka nama le moya wa hao...

...cheers to learning, unlearning and BECOMING!

Remember ladies, swing those hips, strut those legs, eyebrows to perfection, face beat by the gods, and be confident.

A prochaine fois!


P.S.: Always write your own love story!


Ciao!


Lady E
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

5 Inexpensive Dates in a Bad Economy

If he's making the economy an excuse, swipe left.... A guy who makes too many excuses whilst pursuing you is not worth your time. He will make excuses for not making time for you. More so, for not taking you on a date. A real man makes a plan...all the time! Yes, the economy is atrocious...a complete nightmare! Does that mean that humanity stops? Y'all,  we have procreation to continue until the end of time. A season of a recession, shouldn't hinder dates, relationships and the whole nine yards that come with that package. Couples over centuries overcame obstacles such as family feuds, classism, racism, tribalism, religious differences etc. They all found a way around those challenges. Any guy who uses 'in this economy' as an excuse is dropped like a pin. Honestly, such an individual lacks ambition and creativity. I want the flowers, chocolate, and the date. Otherwise...skrrr! You will have to show innovation in your pursuit. If you can't be strategic w...
4 comments
Read more

The Slow Burn

Stop trying to control everything and start experiencing the slow burn. Hello, single ladies! Comment ça va mes amies? "Je suis bien!   Gather around; today we are having coffee and tea. I'll get my dose of caffeine as usual. I'm so inspired by the previous article. The inspiration came from the last few paragraphs, where I wrote about the slow burn. I remember the movie, "I Want You Back." The character Emma tells Peter that he's attractive, and she would date him, despite the fact that he is a slow burner. And then Kacey Musgraves' "Slow Burn" starts playing in my head. ("I'm alright with a slow burn"). As I decided to rewrite the scripts for my "love story," the last part challenged me. Do you remember what Kat Valdez said in "Marry Me"? If you want something different, you have to do something different. So, you make a different decision. I thought long and hard about that statement. I believe that I'm ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Pendulum...Time to Stop Swinging!

At that very moment you actually receive that closure that it's finally over... You lay there, with a sigh of  relief because it was good whilst it lasted, but you are glad that it's over. There are certain things that you begin to intuitively feel and understand as you grow older or wiser. You move out of naivety or ideologies of the perfect relationship. You get to a place of realising that some relationships have good parts but don't last. And there are other bad relationships where the only thing that holds you together, is what's in between the sheets. During a conversation with a friend, I asked him for his opinion about a relationship. His view of my 'situation' was that I was like a pendulum. It was a constant back and forth with this guy which in psychology is considered 'toxic'. My friend gave me advice athat I need to respect myself enough to demand stability from a relationship. The guy who comes into my life must anchor himself and...
Post a Comment
Read more

Script My Life: The Kissing Booth

With a show of the hands, how many of you have ended up with your crush? I guess I will see in the comments section below. Reminiscing about the complex, simplicity of high school is funny. When you are a teenager,  your whole life seems to be captured in that time capsule. It seems like an eternity before the reality of growing up hits you. As a grown woman, I still indulge in a high school movie or two. I love how cliché and generic the storylines are. Yet they somewhat relate to what a teen is going through or what I related to, once upon a time. I still love the lessons about being true to yourself à la 'Mean Girls', '10 Things I Hate About You' and most recent, 'Reality High'. Y'all high school is hard! I'm not sure what it's like now with social media and cellphones. Back in my day, bullying was physical, rejection was real and your crush wrote a note, or letter to reciprocate your feelings. Funny story, I'm still 'sort of...
Post a Comment
Read more

Single ladies: Wife material

MPV.....my point of view! Single Ladies: Wifen Material *Royal wave*Hey single ladies,your guide is back.The pursuit for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It is on.Today I would like to make you a get-a-ring-on-it lady. Now following my articles,'Single Ladies Part 3',where I talked about the prince searching for a 'real princess',or 'Queen';and 'Brown Sugar',where the word 'brown sugar' was defined as wifen material,I would like to talk about 'wifey material'.(Whether we are that). How do we single ladies get that ring-on-it,you ask?By being wifey material.My uncle keeps on telling me,'If you want to become Mrs X,you should be a wife.You are a wife before he puts a ring on it'.What he means is that,a man will treat you the way you portray yourself.How,you ask? Ever noticed the difference between a wife and a girlfriend.Now let me break it down for you.A girlfriend usually,takes life in a more leisurely way;unlike a wife,whose focus is mo...
Post a Comment
Read more