Skip to main content

The Case of Round Two

Kea lumela hore ke rata lintho!

A black woman regretting being in bed with a black man



And most of the time it's bad for my process of becoming. So I'm trying to be subtle, but...
 
I met a ghost from my past. Not an unpleasant one at all. just someone I didn't necessarily expect. Seeing and being around him reminded me of the vulnerability that I'm afraid of experiencing. I met Michael again.


Yep. And I realised that two years later I sort of like him....a lot. Yet, he remains complicated. But on the other hand, he's still a good kisser. (And Usher's "Good Kisser" drums start playing in the background). Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez vous? Bring your glasses; let's gather around and chat. I'm having a nice, not wine-related drink that I'm going to regret in the morning because of a hangover. I don't know why I'm this person, though. 

Michael, Michael, Michael. U tsoa kae? O romilwe ke mang? Coming to mess up my chakras again! I know that being comfortable in his calm presence is just for two minutes because uzobe eyisipoko, and next time you will see him on a wedding Instagram media page with the love story to his wedding. To another woman! Why did I entertain him, you ask? I believe that I've got my defences up, Alcatraz fences, and the emotional condom wrapped tightly, so I'm Teflon. So I think!

When he came through at an event, he looked familiar, but I had amnesia. He then showed familiarity towards me, to which I asked, "Where do I know you from?" He gave hints as if we were playing 30-seconds, and I remembered. He then showed me that he still has my number.  Me thinks, manje? In the words of Shania Twain, "that don't impress me much." Having my number and not using it doesn't make any sense, or mean anything to me. Like was he expecting me to give him a Merit badge or Purple Heart for keeping my full name and phone number? I on the other hand, honestly spring-cleaned his number out of my contacts when I wrote about him the first time. And got amnesia! Kuyakhombisa ukuthi bengingenandaba naye after that. Oh so I thought.

So petite moi, asked him why he ghosted me? He stated that he didn't ghost me. Erm. And there was back and forth. I won't lie; I kept looking at Michael pensive and thinking, "Hmm, he's actually much handsome than I remember." Not the frog that I remember kissing, yet he wasn't my prince, although he's charming. In an attempt to redeem himself, I told him that he was my ride home. And I entertained him. And he was attentive in the way that I like. You would think that I have evolved. Pray for me. (Makes a crucifix sign.)

Shem! I let my guard down. Let him deafen me with sweet nothings from his honey laced tongue. And those words dripped sweetly. The forehead kiss was the icing on the cake because it seemed warm and sincere. Again, why am I this person? He did drop me off at home, and I saved his phone number. Pourquoi? (Shaking my head) I texted him. Someone please, just pull me back. Hobaneng ke sa ithute?

And we are back here... AGAIN!

Unlike the last time, I don't believe that I have caught feelings. What we need to unlearn is the notion that "this time might be different." A lot can happen over a period of time. We believe that people change, or situations are different. Every once in a while, we meet that person who makes you wonder, "What if?" Like that one person you have this undescribable connection with. Michael wasn't particularly special to me the first time that he and I met. Remember, he wasn't physically or interactively 'my type'. But I guess that I liked the comfort of feeling somewhat safe. Like his arms feel like 'home', I kid you not! (Becomes coy and hides face) He and I exchanged intelligent conversations. And he's attentive. That made him a more interesting person. He has manners and is a 'gentleman' per se. So I don't want to vilify him. Instead, I'm trying to be accountable about allowing the likes of him to steer me off my path. "No" is a fantastic word in the English language. Yet I use it less than when it's necessary.

This time around I'm listening to my board of directors. Libandla yami lithi, hlukhana lo Michael. Lady E, we've been here before friend. Don't let the nerdy and gentleman persona fool you. F**ckboys come in different packages. Is Michael a f**ckboy? Unfortunately, he's got more red than the Confederate flag, yet it's not as obvious. He's a cute nerd who is unassuming, and that's the reason why I caught unnecessary feelings the first time. Again, I'm not here to vilify him. This is introspection before jumping into a lake of poor choices. Grown women don't make mistakes, we make choices," Amanda Seales. Discern and let's choose wisely.

Grown women don't make mistakes, we make choices. 

- Amanda Seales.


So ladies, the lesson here is that while we like the Michaels of the world, ask yourself: What's the offer? Are there intentions with you, and what sort? Is this a cruise ship, friendship, relationship, or situationship? Botsa seo o se batlang ho nna? If you intend to be with a king, stop entertaining court jesters. Over here, we love Kings. Led by them. Serve them. Revere them with loyalty. But we need discernment. 

If you intend to be with a king, stop entertaining court jesters.

 
So in the case of round two, I stand accused and guilty of not learning from the first experience. A frog is a frog no matter how many times you kiss it. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maya Angelou 

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. 
- Maya Angelou

Boloka nama le moya wa hao...

...cheers to learning, unlearning and BECOMING!

Remember ladies, swing those hips, strut those legs, eyebrows to perfection, face beat by the gods, and be confident.

A prochaine fois!


P.S.: Always write your own love story!


Ciao!


Lady E
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Single ladies: Wife material

MPV.....my point of view! Single Ladies: Wifen Material *Royal wave*Hey single ladies,your guide is back.The pursuit for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It is on.Today I would like to make you a get-a-ring-on-it lady. Now following my articles,'Single Ladies Part 3',where I talked about the prince searching for a 'real princess',or 'Queen';and 'Brown Sugar',where the word 'brown sugar' was defined as wifen material,I would like to talk about 'wifey material'.(Whether we are that). How do we single ladies get that ring-on-it,you ask?By being wifey material.My uncle keeps on telling me,'If you want to become Mrs X,you should be a wife.You are a wife before he puts a ring on it'.What he means is that,a man will treat you the way you portray yourself.How,you ask? Ever noticed the difference between a wife and a girlfriend.Now let me break it down for you.A girlfriend usually,takes life in a more leisurely way;unlike a wife,whose focus is mo...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Red Season: Breadcrumbs of Love

No matter how broken you are, a meal of love is what you need. For the first time in a long time, I will admit on this platform, I will admit that I cried. I felt humiliated and hurt. Mariah Carey's "Cry" is playing in my head. I keep asking myself why am I this person? Why do I keep scraping for crumbs of love? Am I not enough? And following a recent disappointment, I reverted to a quote that I saw on a certain blog. "You could have the best intentions, you could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be a good woman and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man because the only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you,"  Sipho Mbhele. "You could have the best intentions, you could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be a good woman and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man because the only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you,"  Sipho Mbhele. Gosh, I'm tired of this circus. The fact...
Post a Comment
Read more

I Am Not Her

If I'm not the one that you want, then maybe I'll be the one you need.     But if you prioritize your wants, then I'm not her. Hello single ladies, Beyoncé wave! How are you? I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Nothing that a glass of wine and a shoulder to cry on won't fix. My blogs of late are ticking some people off. But you know what, I'm not about to censor myself for anybody. Have you met me? My face on it's own doesn't do PC very well. A nous allez!  So let's call this one basket of mine Clay. The other day Clay and I were having a conversation. He mentioned that of late I'm cold and distant. In addition I'm not the woman that he thought I was. Oh my! In my head I was like, " Wena stop thoughting and start thinking!" I then asked what has changed his perception. After an hour or so of the long list of complaints, I then asked, "What now?" I didn't feel like explaining myself. Actually I don't owe him an ex...
Post a Comment
Read more

When The Going Gets Tough

Lack is the mother of hustle and innovation! I have just finished doing my own hair. I spent the whole winter without a protective hairstyle for my natural hair. My hair is damaged (mainly due to stress), and mismanagement because I have run out of product. Haven't afforded a hairdresser in a while. Yes, it's been a rough couple of months. During the last church service, I went for prayer and counselling. The lady praying for me, said, "You look like a go-getter to me!" Haven't really felt like that of late, but I have in the past, made a dollar out of fifteen cents. I remember sharing a testimony with a former manager. I told her about how I entered the employment field three and half years after giving birth. My first job was as a sales person for a new product on the market. I had no previous qualifications in sales or marketing but I had the zeal. Though I and the rest of the employees got screwed over, I held onto the CEO's words. He said to us dur...
Post a Comment
Read more

Script My Life: A Fall From Grace

I finally watched 'A Fall From Grace'.... And I don't know what y'all were complaining about, this flick was great! I am currently working from home during these perilous times of the terrifying COVID 19. The company that I work for made a conscious decision to protect its employees by permitting social distancing via staying at home. While I don't mind working in my pyjamas, this isolation would be ideal in a country with reliable electricity, a stable economy and adequate food supply. Please feel free to send donations, plus I need to make my rent, otherwise... A few months later, I finally got to view Tyler Perry’s, "A Fall From Grace". Premiered exclusively on Netflix, the film is a suspense/thriller written, produced, directed and starring Tyler Perry. Impressively, the film was shot in five days, clearly on a minimal budget. Perry is synonymous with featuring in his own movies from the Madea franchise, to 'Why Did I Get Married?', a...
Post a Comment
Read more