MPV.....my point of view!

Your perfect match could be right under your nose! And then Colby O'donis' 'Under My Nose' starts playing. As the lyrics play, I can't help reflect on a recent experience that has me wondering - could he be right under my nose, and I've been too blind to see? Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? Ça va! Bring your wine glasses with you and let's have a chat. So, I've been doing some serious self-reflection after our last discussion. There's a lot of unpacking required  and I really need to let go, so that I heal. Healing leads to new beginnings. And hopefully, happy endings - metaphorically that is. We all know the friendzone - that comfortable space where we stash away people we care about but don't see as romantic partners. But could our so-called 'friends' actually be meant for more?  Lately I've been reflecting on a close acquaintance of mine whom I've realized I may have been unintentionally 'friendzoning.' We'v...

Getting to know someone is an intentional action that requires up-close and personal interaction! Interact tete-a-tete ! Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? Je suis comme çi, comme ça! So, I've been getting my domestication on. Cooking. Cleaning. Laundry. Sewing on buttons and seams. God, I love the scent of bleached floor tiles, and an aerosol with a good fragrance. Non-allergic though. Gather around ladies, bring your wine glasses with you. Sidenote, I need to action adding more bin bags and cushions for our conversations. So, I'm not sure what wavelength that I'm currently particularly on, but I've been told that of late that I'm slightly intense in our conversations. C'mon, moi , a whole me (Yvonne Orji voice), intense? Laughs. Don't worry, the fermented grapes will mellow my demeanour. You do know that this  becoming  journey is serious business. It's a literal self therapy process that includes introspect, lots of unpacking and unlearning. It...

Mr. Right isn't perfect, but he makes the relationship worth it. Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? What's the French phrase for, "I'm decent?" You will let me know as we progress. How have been your dates? I now need deposits into my PayPal account because your girl is pre-rich ...and hungry! Laughs hard. But no cap, I am hungry. I'm wishing that someone's Italian mother, aunt or grandma would just invite me for meals - breakfast, lunch, dinner, and gelato, and say to me, " Mangia, mangia !" So, my single ladies, as we continue to do the inner work, whilst making preparations to meet the King like Esther (from the Bible), let's get into class. We want to unlearn a certain batch of bachelors. Since the inception of this series, we have weighed in the pros and cons of the different suitors-to-be. Let's recap: the widower, divorcee, single dad, younger guy, foreigner, and player. I have shared my experiences with most, if not all, the...

Por qué me siento así, mi amor? Lo podemos culpar a Cupido!   Bring on the tissues, and a tub of ice cream, and Amarula cream. Cupid really picked on me and not at the best time. And then 'Stupid Cupid' starts playing. Bonjour single ladies! Forgive me for the dramatic entrance, but I feel like a hopelessly enamoured teenager. Remember  le garçon du chocolat ? Oui. Well, what started off as a crush, has developed into more. Could I be in-love? Umm... But I think that the sparks have fizzled out on his end. Throwing myself on the couch.  Why am I this person, though? Am I setting myself up for possibly another heartbreak after recovering from a not so recent one? Like, le garçon du chocolat lives rent free in my mind, and mostly in my dreams. Am I supposed to feel like this actually? Gosh, I feel so embarrassed with my grown self.   So while, I'm manoeuvring through my emotions, let's talk about starting all over again with a renewed perspective. Gather around ladies,...

 "Check the sign at the door, You are no longer welcome here anymore, And take with you, your suitcase of 'I am sorry," Eloya Somaine. There's nothing worse than wearing disappointment like a badge of honour. I'm not good with disappointments, even when I logically leave room to expect them. Yes, we are still here, but I'm slowly mentally exiting whatever "ship" that I've been on. You teach people how to treat you. I would like to be treated with integrity.  You teach people how to treat you. I'm not self-sabotaging parce que of my anxious-avoidant attachment style. I am cognizant of my shortcomings and insecurities. However, I am being guided by a relationship coach on how to manoeuvre through all this. I gave this male my being (time and space) because I really liked him. I was hoping for a mutual, reciprocal getting-to-know-each-other and relationship with him. But accepting being treated poorly doesn't reflect virtue, substance, or ...

No matter how broken you are, a meal of love is what you need. For the first time in a long time, I will admit on this platform, I will admit that I cried. I felt humiliated and hurt. Mariah Carey's "Cry" is playing in my head. I keep asking myself why am I this person? Why do I keep scraping for crumbs of love? Am I not enough? And following a recent disappointment, I reverted to a quote that I saw on a certain blog. "You could have the best intentions, you could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be a good woman and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man because the only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you,"  Sipho Mbhele. "You could have the best intentions, you could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be a good woman and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man because the only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you,"  Sipho Mbhele. Gosh, I'm tired of this circus. The fact...

Human connection is deepened by proximity and access to each other. Bonjour mes amies! We made it to the other side, welcome to a new year. It is with the hope that this will be an evolutionary year for all of us. May we action every declaration and resolution. May we manifest in reality the desires of our hearts in accordance with time and purpose.  Our last piece was all about manifestation. We decided that in this season we are leveling up. We are going to unpack those suitcases of trauma, bitterness, self-pity, anger, low self-esteem, and low standards. We are unlearning bad habits and we are realigning ourselves with the 'Lord of the ring' - the author and finisher of our life story.  In the spirit of resolutions particularly as we go through our spiritual alignment during the 10 and 21 days of January, let's really unlearn. Welcome to the Red Season. I chose the colour red because it's bold and vibrant. Red is the colour of the blood that runs through our veins...

Manifestation is mindset and action combined to achieve the desired results. This is my last year of being single! I'm declaring it and speaking it into the Universe. Now, there's nothing wrong with being single, but we need a final chapter for the Single Ladies series. All good things have to come to an end. Don't worry I'm not dropping off our bus, just as yet. Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez vous? Je vais trés bien merci, et vous? Let's gather around as we countdown to the New Year. I already have a head start with the wine, so let's catch up. In an intense conversation with one of my closest nephews, I told him that this is my last year of being single. We laughed, hard! But I was serious. Now, we don't have a groom as yet. But I'm going to 'Sex & the City' Charlotte manifest this. And my inner circle has been through the relationship trenches with me. We are all exhausted! So, I understand their skepticism and even fears for my fragilit...

Effort equals reward, and effort is the real charm. It's the last 'Man Crush Monday' of the year, and it would be a deservice to all my MCMs not to take this journey together. Gosh, this has been an interesting year in my dating life. I'm bringing in my single ladies to share their own war stories parce que, we're that community. Tjo!   Ngahleka ukhuthi amaf*ckboys b ashada  this year.(In my head, Somizi voice) Woo, shem ! We live in an era where there's the complaint that femaledom is entitled. In the realm of dating, there's a complaint of unreasonable standards, Ciara's prayer, and the erasure of masculinity. We hear you. The discussion needs to be brought to the table with accountable individuals.  But today, we are addressing some real turn offs. Abeg, abeg, why is there effortless wooing? I mean, we are post-pandemic, yet some fellas are still on that we're confined to the four walls of our habitations. Get with the program, Queen Bey sang, ...

Kea lumela hore ke rata lintho! And most of the time it's bad for my process of becoming. So I'm trying to be subtle, but...   I met a ghost from my past. Not an unpleasant one at all. just someone I didn't necessarily expect. Seeing and being around him reminded me of the vulnerability that I'm afraid of experiencing. I met Michael again. Like,  Mikey, whom I likey .  Yep. And I realised that two years later I sort of like him....a lot. Yet, he remains complicated . But on the other hand, he's still a good kisser. (And Usher's "Good Kisser" drums start playing in the background).  Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez vous?  Bring your glasses; let's gather around and chat. I'm having a nice, not wine-related drink that I'm going to regret in the morning because of a hangover. I don't know why I'm this person, though.  Michael, Michael, Michael. U tsoa kae? O romilwe ke mang? Coming to mess up my chakras again! I know that being comfo...