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Showing posts with the label relationships

Inspired By A Thread

Colour blind is ignorance when all you see is red... ...learn your colours! Oi, you lovely lot! Whaddup, 'ow's it goin'? I’m gettin’ there, innit? Just takin’ me time, you know how it is. A while ago, I scrolled down my timeline, and I came across an interesting thread on X. Actually the responses were wild, but it had me thinking, I would love my readers to share their own experiences. The question was as follows; What was the craziest thing that you've done to investigate a man? Fam, the responses in this thread are worthy of scripts. Don't play with a woman who wants the truth. She has better investigative skills than any intelligence agency. This led me - actually inspired me to share my own personal experiences. My life is so ironical. I like keeping my relationships on the low because my ego can't handle the humiliation if things don't work out. However, drama seems to ensue whenever I decide to allow a male into my space. Of late, I realised that I ...

Are You Miss Bare Minimum?

You are worth the ICE! Intention. Commitment. Effort. Y'all, this is my proof of life. It's been a minute. It's been a tumultuous season, and I guess that I'm not the only one. I am glad though, that I am here to pour out and into you. You've always understood me. And then P!nk's 'Mizunderstood' becomes a backtrack to this conversation. But that's a conversation for another day. A nous allez! Bonjour, bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? I'm taking it one day at a time. Picture this: you’re on a date, and instead of engaging in conversation, your date is glued to his phone, replying to texts that are definitely not from you. Or maybe he’s the ‘textationship’ king, flooding your screen with emojis but never making time for an actual face-to-face meeting. Now this is a good one, he's the convenience pro who gets to see you and spend time with you within his vicinity, and not outside his capacity. Now what do we call that *taps head thinking*...

Mother Dearest...Bitter Pill for Mother's Day!

There's no greater heartache than living life motherless. I'm wondering when I will finally rejoice and sing, 'The Storm is Over.' I've never been a good liar, this has been a very rough season. Finding hope in hopelessness is hard. Friends are few in the darkest times, doors are closed, and you feel as if your prayers are hitting a brass heaven; instead of God's ears. Sigh! Mothers day! I love how the commercial buzz around this day prompts many to dig deep into their pockets to repay their mothers. It's not just hallmark cards, but bouquet of flowers, fancy brunch or lunch dates, the huge grocery hampers, and more. Mum, amai, mama , went through a lot to make you the person you are, so she deserves you to give her the world. As one popular entertainer said, she is the one, and probably only person, who will pray for you and your wellbeing from the depths of her heart. Mother's Day is a day to celebrate and honour the women who brought us into this ...

Here Comes the Counterfeits

We Are at the Tip My Friend

Dear beloved, we've come to that point where we are at the tip of the Coca-Cola bottle. Bonjour mes amis! It seems like déjà-vu writing about friendships yet again. However, some relationships need repeating because we keep making the same mistakes. Remember my previous blog “Fair Weather Friends”? Well chérie, this is the continuation. Like Sierra Tishaj suggested, “If it ain’t growing, it’s gotta go.” I’m dusting off my Diana Ross records and busting some ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’ moves. Why? Because it’s that time again where I have to say goodbye to people holding me back. Like Ma Nan said in Moonlight, “That thing weighing you down, you got to let it go.” Friends, some of these dynamics I’ve outgrown since high school ha! I thought the telenovela ended in college but the drama kept coming. Taking inspiration from The Real Lady E’s profound words, “I do have individuals who fit into most of my areas of needs. In turn, they turn to me for their needs. I’m act...

Fairweather Friends

Learn to understand the position of people in your seasons. Some people are not meant for the summers and springs of your life because they weren't there through the winter.  Bonjour mes amis, comment allez-vous vous? I need a whole bottle of wine. Gather around. Tjo! Where do I even begin? Y'all know that I don't like to make this space a pity party venue, but every once in a while, your girl is blue. This has been a rough season. I'm unemployed, and broke. I'm in severe debt. And I can't even find at least one individual in my contacts list who can reliably help me out. I'm not a beggar. I have always worked hard, and prefer to do my own things - especially financially. So yes, I'm in the trenches. Actually, I asked for a job from an old colleague, and they blue ticked me. My nephew blocked me when I asked for help - help for leads to jobs because he's well connected, as well as financial assistance. I do comprehend that things are challenging for...

Are You Friend Zoning Your Soulmate?

Your perfect match could be right under your nose! And then Colby O'donis' 'Under My Nose' starts playing. As the lyrics play, I can't help reflect on a recent experience that has me wondering - could he be right under my nose, and I've been too blind to see? Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? Ça va! Bring your wine glasses with you and let's have a chat. So, I've been doing some serious self-reflection after our last discussion. There's a lot of unpacking required  and I really need to let go, so that I heal. Healing leads to new beginnings. And hopefully, happy endings - metaphorically that is. We all know the friendzone - that comfortable space where we stash away people we care about but don't see as romantic partners. But could our so-called 'friends' actually be meant for more?  Lately I've been reflecting on a close acquaintance of mine whom I've realized I may have been unintentionally 'friendzoning.' We'v...

Ask Me, Not Them!

Getting to know someone is an intentional action that requires up-close and personal interaction! Interact tete-a-tete ! Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? Je suis comme çi, comme ça! So, I've been getting my domestication on. Cooking. Cleaning. Laundry. Sewing on buttons and seams. God, I love the scent of bleached floor tiles, and an aerosol with a good fragrance. Non-allergic though. Gather around ladies, bring your wine glasses with you. Sidenote, I need to action adding more bin bags and cushions for our conversations. So, I'm not sure what wavelength that I'm currently particularly on, but I've been told that of late that I'm slightly intense in our conversations. C'mon, moi , a whole me (Yvonne Orji voice), intense? Laughs. Don't worry, the fermented grapes will mellow my demeanour. You do know that this  becoming  journey is serious business. It's a literal self therapy process that includes introspect, lots of unpacking and unlearning. It...

Good Guy Isn't Always Mr. Right

Mr. Right isn't perfect, but he makes the relationship worth it. Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? What's the French phrase for, "I'm decent?" You will let me know as we progress. How have been your dates? I now need deposits into my PayPal account because your girl is pre-rich ...and hungry! Laughs hard. But no cap, I am hungry. I'm wishing that someone's Italian mother, aunt or grandma would just invite me for meals - breakfast, lunch, dinner, and gelato, and say to me, " Mangia, mangia !" So, my single ladies, as we continue to do the inner work, whilst making preparations to meet the King like Esther (from the Bible), let's get into class. We want to unlearn a certain batch of bachelors. Since the inception of this series, we have weighed in the pros and cons of the different suitors-to-be. Let's recap: the widower, divorcee, single dad, younger guy, foreigner, and player. I have shared my experiences with most, if not all, the...

Solo

Be the person whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. Porque eres el único cuerpo con el que estás atrapado para siempre ! With that said, it's good to have our feet back on solid ground. I can't wait for the  next trip ! Now ladies, we are dressing up for not just one, but several dates. Through our journey to  becoming , we are all about self-introspection and self-love. We are going on a solo date where we assess if we enjoy our own company, embrace our flaws, and seek to be better versions of ourselves.  Single ladies, bring your A-game with the wardrobe, face, body and most importantly, personality because we are putting our best foot forward. Put on your favourite outfit because we're going on a couple of dates with ourselves! Gentlemen, y'all invited to observe. A nous allez!  Date #1: Restaurant  I'm wearing a midi, nude pink, chiffon dress. I'm pairing the outfit with gold jewellery, and rose gold heels. I made a reservation at my favourite ...

I'm Ready

Por qué me siento así, mi amor? Lo podemos culpar a Cupido!   Bring on the tissues, and a tub of ice cream, and Amarula cream. Cupid really picked on me and not at the best time. And then 'Stupid Cupid' starts playing. Bonjour single ladies! Forgive me for the dramatic entrance, but I feel like a hopelessly enamoured teenager. Remember  le garçon du chocolat ? Oui. Well, what started off as a crush, has developed into more. Could I be in-love? Umm... But I think that the sparks have fizzled out on his end. Throwing myself on the couch.  Why am I this person, though? Am I setting myself up for possibly another heartbreak after recovering from a not so recent one? Like, le garçon du chocolat lives rent free in my mind, and mostly in my dreams. Am I supposed to feel like this actually? Gosh, I feel so embarrassed with my grown self.   So while, I'm manoeuvring through my emotions, let's talk about starting all over again with a renewed perspective. Gather around ladies,...