Sh*t, I Caught Feelings

"When the dick touches the heart, it means that it's affected you not just physically, but emotionally," Amanda Seales.

Single ladies, come right round with your glass of wine, and a box of tissues...those are for me. Damn, I slipped up for sure. Beyoncé wave! I'm in my feelings because I caught feelings. This one caught me off guard. I've been wearing that emotional condom for a while. Y'all know I'm a recovering 'f*ckboy' addict. Remember that last one did me dirty, and I allowed it. But thank God, I missed being attached to that idiot for a lifetime. Dodged a bullet with that one. Sigh of relief!

Despite the pandemic, my love life has been less than boring. And with the empowerment of putting the eggs in different baskets, I have been in control of who and what makes my vagenda. I am still celibate, one year strong, hallelujah! It's been good for my spiritual life, mental health and my career. But in one of my few liaisons, I think that I caught something. No, LaTrey didn't get the nookie. Lion King is bae in progress (BIP), and we are likely to keep him. And as for the others, they keep things interesting. That means that I will not have tunnel vision on this journey.

I believe that I am a demisexual (spiritual attraction), although my attraction has always been mental - sapiosexual. Makes sense why I was drawn to Mr X. I kid you not, that's the most intellectual interaction that I have ever had with a male. I love me an intelligent man - particularly one who carries a vision. But who needs labels for sexuality, right? We comprehend who attracts us and why we are attracted to them. C’est tout! So, I met Micheal recently. If we revert to the discussion about types, honestly he wouldn't be mine. I like them pretty, dysfunctional, highly intellectual, and have a way with words. He was none of the above! But I think he and I connected on a spiritual level, we made out (passion and lust), I let my guard down... (Vulnerability)

... and now we are here.

I don't know how, but Michael penetrated through the security fence, and he tore the emotional condom. What in the hell? Again, I would never pick him at an instant glance. Probably interacted with him out of being polite, but I wouldn't think, "Wow! I would wife you." But his presence was so calming. He felt comfortable and attractive to my spirit. He felt different. Like nothing I've ever felt before. And because I like him, I'm keeping the cookies in the jar for a while... until I'm sure! I'm not deprived of emotional or even physical affection. Cuddling, hugs, kisses, and attention are in abundance. Remember, the baskets are plenty. (But I am celibate just as a reminder)

But my chakras need realigning because I caught feelings. Maybe I'm not as cool and collected as I assumed. I like my other baskets, Lion King is checking the boxes, being a gentleman and all, but I like Michael, like, like Michael.

I don't know whether to be mad at myself or accept that I'm a softy. I'm not as emotionally hardcore as I thought. But, in a soliloquy, I remind myself that emotional investment requires effort from the other party. Can't be messing your vibe for someone who excites you for a millisecond. Does he call when he says that he will? Does he show interest in you and the things you do? Did he take over three days to text you? Has he asked you out on an actual date? And if so, is it Netflix and chill, or does he put actual effort? Are you his choice or convenience?

You have to be careful with whom put on your vagenda because the dick can touch the heart. - Amanda Seales

Let's see where it goes with Mikey, whom I likey. Right now I need a diversion, maybe look into the other baskets. Thank you ladies for the wine and listening ear. It's such a relief that I can openly admit my shortcomings.

The lesson learnt from this conversation is about discernment. Understanding how we should handle something as simple as a crush, or endearment towards someone. It has to be reciprocal through words and actions. Ladies, let's discern!

Keep your heart in your pocket, him at arm's length, and continue to look as good as hell!

A prochaine fois!

P.S.: Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E

Comments

The Red Season: Breadcrumbs of Love

No matter how broken you are, a meal of love is what you need. For the first time in a long time, I will admit on this platform, I will admit that I cried. I felt humiliated and hurt. Mariah Carey's "Cry" is playing in my head. I keep asking myself why am I this person? Why do I keep scraping for crumbs of love? Am I not enough? And following a recent disappointment, I reverted to a quote that I saw on a certain blog. "You could have the best intentions, you could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be a good woman and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man because the only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you," Sipho Mbhele. "You could have the best intentions, you could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be a good woman and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man because the only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you," Sipho Mbhele. Gosh, I'm tired of this circus. The fact

5 Inexpensive Dates in a Bad Economy

If he's making the economy an excuse, swipe left.... A guy who makes too many excuses whilst pursuing you is not worth your time. He will make excuses for not making time for you. More so, for not taking you on a date. A real man makes a plan...all the time! Yes, the economy is atrocious...a complete nightmare! Does that mean that humanity stops? Y'all, we have procreation to continue until the end of time. A season of a recession, shouldn't hinder dates, relationships and the whole nine yards that come with that package. Couples over centuries overcame obstacles such as family feuds, classism, racism, tribalism, religious differences etc. They all found a way around those challenges. Any guy who uses 'in this economy' as an excuse is dropped like a pin. Honestly, such an individual lacks ambition and creativity. I want the flowers, chocolate, and the date. Otherwise...skrrr! You will have to show innovation in your pursuit. If you can't be strategic w

The Writings On The Wall

Thou shall move onto the next! And then 'If You Leave' by Destiny's Child and Next starts to play. Gosh, 'The Writings on the Wall' remains my favourite Destiny's Child album, ever. The concept of the '10 commandments' of relationships. Brilliant! Bonjour, mes amies! Comment ça va? Ça va bien! (Caribbean accent) Your gyal , moi , has been experiencing epiphanies. And a few disappointments, but life is too sweet to be upset. Lick your ice cream and have sweet red wine! I travelled through the blogosphere for inspiration for our topic today. Ironically, I also had a discussion with an acquaintance about a similar topic. There's nothing that I love more than people who brag about their intelligence. Oh, my! People pride themselves on their levels of education, often equating it to intelligence. We assess our value based on having degrees, master's degrees, and doctorates. If only those worked in relationships. I think of David Robson's 'W

Chocolate!

Oogling and drooling as I lust after the delicious,yummy chocolate abs of...gush...Trey Songz in a music video. My male friends look at me as if I'm some perverted male...maybe I am. Sadly as a woman such men are just a mirage in a desert full of pot bellied men.Yes,I said it!I believe I speak on behalf of my sisters,who have been termed 'overambitious',and having high standards in the looks department.We would love to see more abs and less flab. Why our brothers keep mount Everests of flesh I fail to understand.Worse still,men boobs that could hold shares in a dairy company. Who would blame me.I become a pervert because Usher's six-pack makes me want to eat of it,or I'm actually envious of Generations' Queen Moroka having 'Muscle man' Lungile,hold her in his arms.Yes,guilty as charged! What my brothers should understand is most women already have stuffed toys,a new addition in the form of a man is not adorable.A little working out w

Dirty Laundry Diaries: Hurts Like a Mother F***er

My humanity will let me hurt as much as I can and be unapologetic for it… I never thought that I would find myself at this place again. Over the past few years, I learnt the word ‘No’ and embraced my power to reject mediocrity. Be it work, life and even romantic relationships. Sigh! I recently found myself breaking almost every rule of every self-help book that I’ve read. Reading is supposed to empower you with knowledge and also help you with making better life choices! Anyway, I recently had to break it off with some guy because of ‘incorrect assumptions’, when will I ever learn? "In my own rule book, CONSISTENCY is very important." In my own rule book, CONSISTENCY is very important. The moment that there is lack of consistency during the dating period or in a relationship it’s, “Off with his head” (In the voice of the queen of hearts). Sic! But what started off well, ended up like the familiar script that I have writing about for a long time. As Whitney

MPV.....my point of view!

Search This Blog