My gosh! In the week that my ovaries are screaming baby, I almost caught a nasty case of 'F*ckboy'...
A.k.a he didn't earn this nookie! Bonjour my single ladies (Beyoncé wave). It's been a minute, hasn't it? Well, your girl is still trying to adjust to the 'new normal'. And well, I have been hitting brick walls with this writing thing. But I guess I was slightly amused so I have something to write about.
Science has proven that when a woman is ovulating, she makes her most poor choices. She often copulates with alpha males, or the non-committal type for procreation. Not my handwriting. During my ovulation period, I came across a rather attractive young man. We know each other from circles. I complimented him on what I discovered as a new shared passion. Let's call this youngin' 'LaTrey'. So I have kinda liked LaTrey but it's not something I literally took into account. Look, he's been in a relationship, which was Instagram official. If I'm not mistaken, he proposed to his love interest and even created a shared page. But LaTrey hasn't posted bae in a while.... Je ne sais pas!
Anyway, LaTrey offered a proposition that my ovaries couldn't refuse. He sounded good, I liked what I saw, but then I thought. LaTrey is borderline fuckboy....the streets have whispered in my ear and written on my typewriter. I respect what he does in his lane but with loin integrity, that's not his department... like most creatives, I guess. Part of me liked what I heard and would have gone with the flow. The larger part of me being led by logic (thanks to the kouncil) had a long conversation with myself.
As Amanda Seales put it, grown women don't make mistakes, we make choices. I have highlighted in almost every post that we are to take responsibility for the demise of any failed relationships. We need to be objective in our participation in our own heartbreaks. So as a grown-ass woman who seeks to be zen, there's no way I'm planning to mess up my chakras.
And then this gentleman who has been pursuing me also delivered his proposition. He's very reliable, consistent in communication, and even shows provision. He's good to look at and maturity is a plus. But does he deserve to dip his hand in the cookie jar? Nah! He's riding on that 'I like you but I'm not yet ready' ship. I want a relationship, not a situation...ship! But I keep him because he's decent.
Here's the story: our loins have a mind of their own. And if we aren't careful, we will definitely get entangled in between the sheets...and feelings. Self-control is hard, but we have to decide what we want to be. Actually, what mode are we in? Are we in whore mode or wifey mode? Whore mode is when you don't have a 'vagenda'. You are cool with a no-strings attached kind of situation with the person, or people that you have sex with. Wifey mode explains itself. You want to be intentional about who you are with. You want a relationship.
I'm in wifey mode. So after much consideration, I declined LaTrey's proposition. He's cute, he could get it, but he doesn't deserve it. He told me that he's been checking me out. He likes me. Erm, I don't really believe his sincerity. He wants to fuck, that makes sense. He's probably attracted to me, yes. But like me enough for wifey, nah. He took shortcuts, and he's definitely got fuckboy vibes. I have zero tolerance for that type of energy. I'm about that level up à la Ciara!
As for the other guy, I shut it down completely. He pleaded and even pouted but he hasn't earned it.
I value my zen state and protecting my emotions. My therapist will be so proud of me with the self-restraint. Bravo!
I have come a long way...
Can I please get an Amen!
P.S.: Always write your own love story!
Ciao!
Lady E
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