Skip to main content

Do I Have to Cross the Ocean?

Should I do cartwheels on a plank for someone who hasn't crossed the ocean for me?


We all know that sacrifice comes from commitment. When there is commitment, sacrifice is inevitable. At one point or another, we have had to sacrifice for something. The decision didn’t come easy but due to the commitment to a vision or promise, you made your sacrifice. And it was worth it.

I was thinking about how the old me went to lengths to be loved. I lived in a 'people pleasing' mode where I became the lamb of sacrifice. There are even people that I gave up my opportunities for because I 'cared'. Years later, I have moved out of that train of thought. Love is a two way street. Not that you will be keeping score, but why should you go out of your way for someone who doesn't flinch at your very existence.

We experience people differently and have different relationship dynamics. There are people that you might not communicate with in a very long time, but will come through for you, in your time of need. Then there are those whom you are literally snorting each other's air but do not edify you.

Recently I wasn't in the mood to attend a friend's function. I was feeling under the weather, but the push factor was my obligation. Obligation to our friendship and how many times my friend went out of her way for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my friend with my whole being. In my circle, I am part mother hen, big sister and a lot of times Iyanla Vanzant. I understand the role of my presence. Whilst I go through my trail of thought, who have you gone to lengths for? What gave you the need to do that?

In terms of relationships, when do you start to 'sacrifice' for your partner? How much time or money are you willing to spend on them? What determines those 'obligations'? Me thinks, his birthday is coming up and he stated that he's expecting something from me. The old me would have ordered something on Amazon in advance. The me right now, is on that Janet Jackson, "What have you done for me lately?" In addition, in what capacity do I 'do something?'.

I'm amazed with such entitlement! The expectaction that I should 'do something' por que? Bruno Mars asked, why your eyes were wide open...you need to keep them pierced. There are people who might take your kindness for weakness. You forgive them seventy times seven and they think that they can walk all over you. In a 'relationship' if the other half hasn't put effort to define your relationship or who you are to them, you know what to do.

Swerve!

That goes for friends, business partners and anybody else who has 'expectations'. The era of martyrs is gone. As an individual you are also not entitled to people bending over for you. You too need to put in effort and commitment. And it doesn't always have to be material, it can be your time, service or just your heart.

I love Monica's lyrics for 'For You I Will'. "I will cross the ocean for you, I will go and bring you the moon," such a noble idea. Easier said than done. When your eyes are piercing, you are wide awake. You can tell the difference between those who you can go in the line of fire for. You actually appreciate them. The sacrifices come in all shapes and sizes.

Will I catch a grenade or walk a across a plank for someone?

Certain acts of sacrifice can only be given when a certain level of commitment is shown.

P.S. : Always write your own love story!

Lady E

Ciao!


Comments

Popular Posts

Script My Life: Love By the 10th Date

Finding love shouldn’t be a duty but it should be a journey that you enjoy the ride while you get to it... I don’t remember when was the last time I related to a number of female characters in one movie. I finally watched Lifetime movie ‘Love By the 10th Date’.  The trailer to the movie, written and directed by Nzingha Stewart, enticed me for a good chick flick...about women of colour. The all star cast includes the gorgeous Kelly Rowland, Meagan Good, Keri Hilson and Kellee Smith. We also see Cat Deely, Joshua T Jackson, Andra Fuller and UnReal’s Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman. The story line follows a group of young, successful black friends who work for a high end, digital magazine Nina. The protagonist is Gabrielle Fateful a.k.a Gabby played by Meagan Good. Gabby is a graphic designer at Nina whose love life is an actual struggle. The scene that kickstarts the plot of the movie is when Gabby goes out for dinner with friends and workmates, Margot (Kelly Rowland), Bi...

Sing My Life: Birthday By Disclosure, Kehlani, Syd

"Can I call you on your birthday? Just to make sure that you're okay"   Birthdays can bring out the real in all of us. Happy Friday and it happens to be the Queen’s Birthday. Yes Beyoncé! Yeah,yeah, everybody loves Beyoncé. Shout out to all the Virgos! I'm so loving the Disclosure video for 'Birthday' featuring Kehlani and Syd. The visuals take on the 'Alice in Wonderland' aspect where Syd and Kehlani are stuck in a shrunken room. The giant versions of Syd and Kehlani wrestle with thoughts of reaching out to each other. The visual ends with claymation version of Syd and Kehlani, who who are shown in a candy land. They talk to each other while experiencing adventures including flying on the top of a single engine plane. And then they both get burnt. The closing of the video has voices singing 'Happy birthday'. Then a heart shaped box with Syd and Kehlani's names, and a cake with Disclosure's faces appear on the screen. Most of the wor...

Script My Life: Marry Me

If you want something different, you have to do something different! Woo, Jennifer Lopez really grated the cheese on this rom-com but I love it! Yes, this Valentines day, J Lo reminds us of all our fantasies of what really love should be. Jenny has always been a girl who loves love. So art somewhat imitates life. Following her reunion with former fiancé, Ben Affleck, we are definitely seeing Jenny from the Block 2.0. Who knew that getting back together with 'the one that got away' two decades later would revive romantically in J lo? We all know that Jennifer loves to be booed up. She's been married three times, engaged five or six (I've lost count). I believe relationship experts would consider her a love addict. But that's none of our business! Just in time for Valentines day, a romantic comedy simply titled, "Marry Me". The stars Jennifer Lopez, Owen Wilson, Maluma, John Bradley, Sarah Silverman, and Chloe Coleman. The movie opens with the title trac...

Script My Life: Mulan

Never despise chasing a chicken on top of rooftops! Oh my, I felt like a fortune cookie right there. I'm never the one to jump onto trends. I proudly stand as the few who aren't phased by FOMO. However for the 2020 adaptation of Mulan, I had to be on point with my movie watching. Between watching the trailer and a few expectations, I wasn't sure about my reaction. I'm a staunch Disney classics fan. I am one of those ladies who grew up on the  Disney princess  trope. I love Belle, Jasmine and Tiana, although Tiana was a frog ¾ of the film. The strong willed female with a free spirit is my spirit animal. Belle read books, Jasmine wanted to see the world and Tiana was a businesswoman. Hmm, sounds like someone we know. Wink! Disney decided to offer CGI, live action versions of all the animations that most of us millennials grew up on. To be honest, I hate most their reimagined versions especially 'The Lion King'. It was so bad, I didn't watch it twice. I really ...

Winter ABC Day 23: 10 Things that You Didn’t Know About Zimbabwe

Zimbabwe is a beautiful mess! Forget about Victoria Falls, the country in itself is a wonder. Through all the trials and tribulations, you can still find a people who are loyal to the nation. There is so much to see and experience in Zimbabwe that travel brochures won't show you. I have jotted 10 unknown things about Zimbabwe. Places 1. Mutorashanga Yes we are a landlocked country but guess what, we have great water bodies. Mutorashanga is that place for great afternoon with friends. Carry your swimwear and enjoy the serene natural pools at this place. 2. The Kariba Islands It took the filming of a television show for me to really experience Kariba. Most people speak of the common place on the man-made lake. But did you know that there are sightful islands by Lake Kariba? My favourite was Rhino island. If you are the adventurous type who doesn't mind having elephants and rhinos visit your campsite, then you will love this place. There's even a beach, just be car...