Skip to main content

Do I Have to Cross the Ocean?

Should I do cartwheels on a plank for someone who hasn't crossed the ocean for me?


We all know that sacrifice comes from commitment. When there is commitment, sacrifice is inevitable. At one point or another, we have had to sacrifice for something. The decision didn’t come easy but due to the commitment to a vision or promise, you made your sacrifice. And it was worth it.

I was thinking about how the old me went to lengths to be loved. I lived in a 'people pleasing' mode where I became the lamb of sacrifice. There are even people that I gave up my opportunities for because I 'cared'. Years later, I have moved out of that train of thought. Love is a two way street. Not that you will be keeping score, but why should you go out of your way for someone who doesn't flinch at your very existence.

We experience people differently and have different relationship dynamics. There are people that you might not communicate with in a very long time, but will come through for you, in your time of need. Then there are those whom you are literally snorting each other's air but do not edify you.

Recently I wasn't in the mood to attend a friend's function. I was feeling under the weather, but the push factor was my obligation. Obligation to our friendship and how many times my friend went out of her way for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my friend with my whole being. In my circle, I am part mother hen, big sister and a lot of times Iyanla Vanzant. I understand the role of my presence. Whilst I go through my trail of thought, who have you gone to lengths for? What gave you the need to do that?

In terms of relationships, when do you start to 'sacrifice' for your partner? How much time or money are you willing to spend on them? What determines those 'obligations'? Me thinks, his birthday is coming up and he stated that he's expecting something from me. The old me would have ordered something on Amazon in advance. The me right now, is on that Janet Jackson, "What have you done for me lately?" In addition, in what capacity do I 'do something?'.

I'm amazed with such entitlement! The expectaction that I should 'do something' por que? Bruno Mars asked, why your eyes were wide open...you need to keep them pierced. There are people who might take your kindness for weakness. You forgive them seventy times seven and they think that they can walk all over you. In a 'relationship' if the other half hasn't put effort to define your relationship or who you are to them, you know what to do.

Swerve!

That goes for friends, business partners and anybody else who has 'expectations'. The era of martyrs is gone. As an individual you are also not entitled to people bending over for you. You too need to put in effort and commitment. And it doesn't always have to be material, it can be your time, service or just your heart.

I love Monica's lyrics for 'For You I Will'. "I will cross the ocean for you, I will go and bring you the moon," such a noble idea. Easier said than done. When your eyes are piercing, you are wide awake. You can tell the difference between those who you can go in the line of fire for. You actually appreciate them. The sacrifices come in all shapes and sizes.

Will I catch a grenade or walk a across a plank for someone?

Certain acts of sacrifice can only be given when a certain level of commitment is shown.

P.S. : Always write your own love story!

Lady E

Ciao!


Comments

Popular Posts

Single ladies: Wife material

MPV.....my point of view! Single Ladies: Wifen Material *Royal wave*Hey single ladies,your guide is back.The pursuit for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It is on.Today I would like to make you a get-a-ring-on-it lady. Now following my articles,'Single Ladies Part 3',where I talked about the prince searching for a 'real princess',or 'Queen';and 'Brown Sugar',where the word 'brown sugar' was defined as wifen material,I would like to talk about 'wifey material'.(Whether we are that). How do we single ladies get that ring-on-it,you ask?By being wifey material.My uncle keeps on telling me,'If you want to become Mrs X,you should be a wife.You are a wife before he puts a ring on it'.What he means is that,a man will treat you the way you portray yourself.How,you ask? Ever noticed the difference between a wife and a girlfriend.Now let me break it down for you.A girlfriend usually,takes life in a more leisurely way;unlike a wife,whose focus is mo...

Script My Life: Love By the 10th Date

Finding love shouldn’t be a duty but it should be a journey that you enjoy the ride while you get to it... I don’t remember when was the last time I related to a number of female characters in one movie. I finally watched Lifetime movie ‘Love By the 10th Date’.  The trailer to the movie, written and directed by Nzingha Stewart, enticed me for a good chick flick...about women of colour. The all star cast includes the gorgeous Kelly Rowland, Meagan Good, Keri Hilson and Kellee Smith. We also see Cat Deely, Joshua T Jackson, Andra Fuller and UnReal’s Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman. The story line follows a group of young, successful black friends who work for a high end, digital magazine Nina. The protagonist is Gabrielle Fateful a.k.a Gabby played by Meagan Good. Gabby is a graphic designer at Nina whose love life is an actual struggle. The scene that kickstarts the plot of the movie is when Gabby goes out for dinner with friends and workmates, Margot (Kelly Rowland), Bi...

Single Ladies: Thank You, Next!

I just had the most vivid dream about my high school crush ! I think I love him! But that's a conversation for another day. Hey single ladies, (Beyoncé wave)! How are you beautiful goddesses? I am fine thank you. The journey is so exciting and evolutionary. To imagine where we started from six years ago to date, the amount of internal change and personal growth. Like you, I'm still single, but I'm now single with a purpose. And I can safely say that I am ready for Mr Put-a-ring-on-it, and the whole shebang - flaws and all. Even my brother's girlfriend affirmed that I am a mature woman ready to settle down. But it's not the narrative for all the single ladies and that's okay! My older sister and I always have these conversations about personal growth and self love. She is a wellness and mental health consultant with a background in psychiatry. I am a work in progress with a nursing background, psychology and psychiatry included. I also use my personal e...

Script My Life: Maid In Manhattan

"To serve people takes dignity and intelligence. But remember, they are only people with money. And although we serve them, we are not their servants. What we do, Miss Ventura, does not define who we are. What defines us is how well we rise after falling."-  Lionel, Maid In Manhattan In the spirit of mothers day,my script for today are most of the ''single mums'' movies from 'The Fighting Temptations', 'Are We There Yet' to 'Madea's Family Reunion' to 'Maid In Manhattan'. The story lines are about single mothers who have their struggles, also hoping to find love again and are really talented women. Yep, pretty much sounds  like me. Truthfully, I try by all means not to get caught up in movie world because the story lines are too good to be true. But somehow there is always that something that gives an individual that certain connection to a movie. I talked about 'Madea's family Reunion' last week, so tod...

Script My Life: Marry Me

If you want something different, you have to do something different! Woo, Jennifer Lopez really grated the cheese on this rom-com but I love it! Yes, this Valentines day, J Lo reminds us of all our fantasies of what really love should be. Jenny has always been a girl who loves love. So art somewhat imitates life. Following her reunion with former fiancĂ©, Ben Affleck, we are definitely seeing Jenny from the Block 2.0. Who knew that getting back together with 'the one that got away' two decades later would revive romantically in J lo? We all know that Jennifer loves to be booed up. She's been married three times, engaged five or six (I've lost count). I believe relationship experts would consider her a love addict. But that's none of our business! Just in time for Valentines day, a romantic comedy simply titled, "Marry Me". The stars Jennifer Lopez, Owen Wilson, Maluma, John Bradley, Sarah Silverman, and Chloe Coleman. The movie opens with the title trac...