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Do I Have to Cross the Ocean?

Should I do cartwheels on a plank for someone who hasn't crossed the ocean for me?


We all know that sacrifice comes from commitment. When there is commitment, sacrifice is inevitable. At one point or another, we have had to sacrifice for something. The decision didn’t come easy but due to the commitment to a vision or promise, you made your sacrifice. And it was worth it.

I was thinking about how the old me went to lengths to be loved. I lived in a 'people pleasing' mode where I became the lamb of sacrifice. There are even people that I gave up my opportunities for because I 'cared'. Years later, I have moved out of that train of thought. Love is a two way street. Not that you will be keeping score, but why should you go out of your way for someone who doesn't flinch at your very existence.

We experience people differently and have different relationship dynamics. There are people that you might not communicate with in a very long time, but will come through for you, in your time of need. Then there are those whom you are literally snorting each other's air but do not edify you.

Recently I wasn't in the mood to attend a friend's function. I was feeling under the weather, but the push factor was my obligation. Obligation to our friendship and how many times my friend went out of her way for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my friend with my whole being. In my circle, I am part mother hen, big sister and a lot of times Iyanla Vanzant. I understand the role of my presence. Whilst I go through my trail of thought, who have you gone to lengths for? What gave you the need to do that?

In terms of relationships, when do you start to 'sacrifice' for your partner? How much time or money are you willing to spend on them? What determines those 'obligations'? Me thinks, his birthday is coming up and he stated that he's expecting something from me. The old me would have ordered something on Amazon in advance. The me right now, is on that Janet Jackson, "What have you done for me lately?" In addition, in what capacity do I 'do something?'.

I'm amazed with such entitlement! The expectaction that I should 'do something' por que? Bruno Mars asked, why your eyes were wide open...you need to keep them pierced. There are people who might take your kindness for weakness. You forgive them seventy times seven and they think that they can walk all over you. In a 'relationship' if the other half hasn't put effort to define your relationship or who you are to them, you know what to do.

Swerve!

That goes for friends, business partners and anybody else who has 'expectations'. The era of martyrs is gone. As an individual you are also not entitled to people bending over for you. You too need to put in effort and commitment. And it doesn't always have to be material, it can be your time, service or just your heart.

I love Monica's lyrics for 'For You I Will'. "I will cross the ocean for you, I will go and bring you the moon," such a noble idea. Easier said than done. When your eyes are piercing, you are wide awake. You can tell the difference between those who you can go in the line of fire for. You actually appreciate them. The sacrifices come in all shapes and sizes.

Will I catch a grenade or walk a across a plank for someone?

Certain acts of sacrifice can only be given when a certain level of commitment is shown.

P.S. : Always write your own love story!

Lady E

Ciao!


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