Skip to main content

Do I Have to Cross the Ocean?

Should I do cartwheels on a plank for someone who hasn't crossed the ocean for me?


We all know that sacrifice comes from commitment. When there is commitment, sacrifice is inevitable. At one point or another, we have had to sacrifice for something. The decision didn’t come easy but due to the commitment to a vision or promise, you made your sacrifice. And it was worth it.

I was thinking about how the old me went to lengths to be loved. I lived in a 'people pleasing' mode where I became the lamb of sacrifice. There are even people that I gave up my opportunities for because I 'cared'. Years later, I have moved out of that train of thought. Love is a two way street. Not that you will be keeping score, but why should you go out of your way for someone who doesn't flinch at your very existence.

We experience people differently and have different relationship dynamics. There are people that you might not communicate with in a very long time, but will come through for you, in your time of need. Then there are those whom you are literally snorting each other's air but do not edify you.

Recently I wasn't in the mood to attend a friend's function. I was feeling under the weather, but the push factor was my obligation. Obligation to our friendship and how many times my friend went out of her way for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my friend with my whole being. In my circle, I am part mother hen, big sister and a lot of times Iyanla Vanzant. I understand the role of my presence. Whilst I go through my trail of thought, who have you gone to lengths for? What gave you the need to do that?

In terms of relationships, when do you start to 'sacrifice' for your partner? How much time or money are you willing to spend on them? What determines those 'obligations'? Me thinks, his birthday is coming up and he stated that he's expecting something from me. The old me would have ordered something on Amazon in advance. The me right now, is on that Janet Jackson, "What have you done for me lately?" In addition, in what capacity do I 'do something?'.

I'm amazed with such entitlement! The expectaction that I should 'do something' por que? Bruno Mars asked, why your eyes were wide open...you need to keep them pierced. There are people who might take your kindness for weakness. You forgive them seventy times seven and they think that they can walk all over you. In a 'relationship' if the other half hasn't put effort to define your relationship or who you are to them, you know what to do.

Swerve!

That goes for friends, business partners and anybody else who has 'expectations'. The era of martyrs is gone. As an individual you are also not entitled to people bending over for you. You too need to put in effort and commitment. And it doesn't always have to be material, it can be your time, service or just your heart.

I love Monica's lyrics for 'For You I Will'. "I will cross the ocean for you, I will go and bring you the moon," such a noble idea. Easier said than done. When your eyes are piercing, you are wide awake. You can tell the difference between those who you can go in the line of fire for. You actually appreciate them. The sacrifices come in all shapes and sizes.

Will I catch a grenade or walk a across a plank for someone?

Certain acts of sacrifice can only be given when a certain level of commitment is shown.

P.S. : Always write your own love story!

Lady E

Ciao!


Comments

Popular Posts

Inspired By A Thread

Colour blind is ignorance when all you see is red... ...learn your colours! Oi, you lovely lot! Whaddup, 'ow's it goin'? I’m gettin’ there, innit? Just takin’ me time, you know how it is. A while ago, I scrolled down my timeline, and I came across an interesting thread on X. Actually the responses were wild, but it had me thinking, I would love my readers to share their own experiences. The question was as follows; What was the craziest thing that you've done to investigate a man? Fam, the responses in this thread are worthy of scripts. Don't play with a woman who wants the truth. She has better investigative skills than any intelligence agency. This led me - actually inspired me to share my own personal experiences. My life is so ironical. I like keeping my relationships on the low because my ego can't handle the humiliation if things don't work out. However, drama seems to ensue whenever I decide to allow a male into my space. Of late, I realised that I ...

I'm Ready

Por qué me siento así, mi amor? Lo podemos culpar a Cupido!   Bring on the tissues, and a tub of ice cream, and Amarula cream. Cupid really picked on me and not at the best time. And then 'Stupid Cupid' starts playing. Bonjour single ladies! Forgive me for the dramatic entrance, but I feel like a hopelessly enamoured teenager. Remember  le garçon du chocolat ? Oui. Well, what started off as a crush, has developed into more. Could I be in-love? Umm... But I think that the sparks have fizzled out on his end. Throwing myself on the couch.  Why am I this person, though? Am I setting myself up for possibly another heartbreak after recovering from a not so recent one? Like, le garçon du chocolat lives rent free in my mind, and mostly in my dreams. Am I supposed to feel like this actually? Gosh, I feel so embarrassed with my grown self.   So while, I'm manoeuvring through my emotions, let's talk about starting all over again with a renewed perspective. Gather around ladies,...

Here Comes the Counterfeits

Welcome To My World

My point of view is my critical analysis and perception of the world.I take readers into my mind and using my own personal experiences so as to prove my hypothesis.I write with depth and insight into social issues using wit and humour to create a colourful and fun read. I go by the name Lady E.I am a writer par excellence with so much to share with the world.I like to describe myself as a cross of First Lady Michelle Obama meets Beyonce meets Lauryn Hill and Maya Angelou.Yes,intelligence,va va voom,soul and wisdom. This is my point of view.Welcome to my world. Ciao! Lady E

Between Friends

I don't want to make it a thing, but I think that I see my friend differently. Yep! I had a halo moment with one of my closest and dearest friends. I've always appreciated him as a decent human being. He's actually my safe space. I love being around him and feeling comfortable to be myself. He is one of my biggest cheerleaders. I don't know what I would do without him. We spent the day together. We've both been going through different life struggles. We needed each other. To talk. Get things off the chest. Vent. And on my part even cry. And of course, there's always room for a shot or two. Honestly, I missed him. I've been so wrapped up in work that our schedules didn't match up. While stressful, I love the free time. Had forgotten that he's such a sweet man. We still disagree on a lot but who else do I want debates with. And yes, I do love him from the depths of my soul. And that's why, the idea of he and I shifting the platonic to romantic isn...