MPV.....my point of view!

In her growth, Necole Kane has established a community that empowers women of colour. I love XONecole...actually, I breathe for it. I don't recall how I came across the blog's Instagram page, but what I do remember is falling in love. I loved the pastel layout of the artwork. I fell in love with the content. I actually found the one publication about women that I would love to write for. And in 2016, I applied for the position of a writer for the blog, unfortunately that dream didn't come true. That disappointment hasn't derailed me, I now want my own XONecole, or a platform affiliated with the community. Today queens, we celebrate a black woman who defined blogging entrepreneurship. Her name is the moniker for the blogs that she's been synonymous with. She crossed over from entertainment gossip blogging to a positive, honest platform that uplifts women especially of colour. My Shero is Maryland native, Necole Kane. I knew of Necole Kane as the founder of ...

"I'm every woman, it's all in me Anything you want done, baby, I'll do it naturally",  I'm Every Woman by Whitney Houston (originally Chaka Khan).... God I miss Whitney! Happy Women's Month, with this article being posted a day after 'International Women's Day'! If there's one group that knows how to own a month, it's definitely WOMEN! Have you checked out all the records released in the past five to seven decades about femaledom? Y'all my playlist is full!  We run the world, we are superwoman, we just wanna have fun and most recently, we are 'Mambokadzi' (Shona for Queen ). It doesn't get any better than that. So what does Women's Day mean to me? With millions of women and allies across the globe celebrating this annual event, this day speaks volumes! It's more than just a day, or month, but a complete revolution dating back to the 1950s, and even centuries before. My experience with this day...

It doesn't hurt to be tolerant...     ...because 'nice' is for biscuits. Maturity is a very demanding human trait. It requires accountability and humility. You have to be willing to forgo being a winner and accept compromise. But maturity requires a willingness to change, something very few of us are willing to do. It's story time and boy do I have an interesting story for you. I'm not really sure about the exact time, but I can trace back to fourth grade. I was on this group in class with the meanest people.  There was this girl called Emily. She was tall, lanky with attitude. Not necessarily the brightest crayon in the box, in terms of academics. Emily made the first two terms of fourth grade unbearable. I often would cry to my father about it. Emily was the definition of a mean girl. My dad once said that she's being mean to me because I'm smarter than her. Might have been true, but that didn't help my social life at school. Com...

At that very moment you actually receive that closure that it's finally over... You lay there, with a sigh of  relief because it was good whilst it lasted, but you are glad that it's over. There are certain things that you begin to intuitively feel and understand as you grow older or wiser. You move out of naivety or ideologies of the perfect relationship. You get to a place of realising that some relationships have good parts but don't last. And there are other bad relationships where the only thing that holds you together, is what's in between the sheets. During a conversation with a friend, I asked him for his opinion about a relationship. His view of my 'situation' was that I was like a pendulum. It was a constant back and forth with this guy which in psychology is considered 'toxic'. My friend gave me advice athat I need to respect myself enough to demand stability from a relationship. The guy who comes into my life must anchor himself and...

A man  needs to take responsibility of his own healing and growth... We all have different love stories that we are writing. There is no formula of how we fall in love or love. At times we can’t help whom we fall for although we can choose whether or not to love them. For healthy relationships, we look for a partner who brings out the best in us. A person who is patient with our flaws but doesn’t allow us to get away with bullshit behaviour. We demand and give respect to partners who love themselves enough to show how they will be treated and loved. In turn we take notes from Eleanor “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” There is room for growth in visions and maturity in character. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt” If we have an understanding of ‘love’ why is it that we shortchange ourselves? I decided to end a ‘relationship’ because it didn’t look or feel like a ‘relationship’. It was more of me being ...

“Every father bears a fundamental obligation to do right by their children,” - Barack Obama With the hype and quotes around Michelle Obama’s book, ‘Becoming’, Barack seems to be the ‘ideal man’. Of course he is only human and bound to err, but for purposes of this discussion, his quotes are a point of reference. We live in an age of great access to information whether negative or positive. We are also in a space for more conversation about sexual liberation. In a previous post, I shared about the modern woman owning her sexuality. And I still stand firmly by that stance, because ownership of one’s sexuality also reflects upon other areas of their life. That point was also touched on, when I discussed about celibacy. The point is that we are in charge of what mostly happens in our lives based on our ‘choices’. Part of choice is being responsible and accountable. Responsibility isn’t fun to be honest but it’s necessary especially for maturity. In other parts of our liv...

Being sexually liberated and being in the moment comes from going outside your head. How does one live in the moment when they are plagued with an ounce of insecurity? There are things that challenge our confidence in things we hope to be masters of. One of these areas happens to be ‘sex’. The discussion about sexual prowess is a very difficult and uncomfortable topic for most. Like who reviews their performance post coitus? Should the sheepish grin or orgasmic face on your partner’s face be the gauge? In an age where, especially women, are being encouraged to own their sexuality, there is still that gap in ‘satisfaction’. While in Africa the emphasis still remains on pleasing a man, the more modern woman chooses to enjoy her own pleasure. We are owning our sexuality from sex toys to whom we choose to have sex with. However liberated sexuality is considered to some extent, not feminine, at times foreign and mostly immoral. But when it comes to sexual pleasure we act...

MPV.....my point of view! I Am Not My Hair. Fighting with my almost five year old when combing her hair,is very tiresome.My baby's hair is the typical African hair,kinky and hard.And braiding her is not even a walk in the park,the child can kick and scream. So that war,has made me consider the aid of sodium hydroxide,to doll up my baby.I am not a supporter of children getting their hair relaxed, but it is a struggle with my child's hair.What is a mother to do? Hair.Over the weekend I watched Chris Rock's documentary,'Good Hair'.I felt so betrayed as a black woman.How dare he reveal the black woman's hair secrets?For many years,women of colour were deceiving other races with extensions,in efforts of them attempting to be more caucasian than african. Good hair.The beautifully straight,long hair,or lovely waved hair that makes one look like they have just come off a magazine cover.Perfect! Not that anything was new to me,however the documentery highlighted somethin...