Skip to main content

I Am Not My Hair

MPV.....my point of view!
I Am Not My Hair.

Fighting with my almost five year old when combing her hair,is very tiresome.My baby's hair is the typical African hair,kinky and hard.And braiding her is not even a walk in the park,the child can kick and scream.

So that war,has made me consider the aid of sodium hydroxide,to doll up my baby.I am not a supporter of children getting their hair relaxed,but it is a struggle with my child's hair.What is a mother to do?

Hair.Over the weekend I watched Chris Rock's documentary,'Good Hair'.I felt so betrayed as a black woman.How dare he reveal the black woman's hair secrets?For many years,women of colour were deceiving other races with extensions,in efforts of them attempting to be more caucasian than african.

Good hair.The beautifully straight,long hair,or lovely waved hair that makes one look like they have just come off a magazine cover.Perfect!

Not that anything was new to me,however the documentery highlighted something very interesting;the 'lengths' women will go to,to achieve a 'crown of glory'.

Black women overseas will spend up to US$5 000 on extensions.Back home,a thousand maximum,(for those who desire to have real,human hair on their manes).Yep,good hair comes with a price.

And what amazes me is that most women who spend that much money,have low income jobs,or no jobs at all.Eish!And sadly,I am like the many women of colour who have succumbed to the belief that 'da kink in my hair',*in a Jamaican accent*,is not good enough.

Imagine going for an interview with an afro,or cornrows,or 'worse',the thread plaiting known as 'mabuns'.Who will hire you?Even take a scenario of two very attractive 'sistas',well dressed,but one has the Indian Remy and the other,au naturel African hair.Who is the one who is going to get the male attention?,(now guys please don't lie.The one with Beyonce's front lace wig,will obviously take the crown).

It is sad really.We as black people across the board are still wearing the shackles and fetter of slavery.We are still colonised even after many years of 'freedom'.Even after Micheal Jackson(who sadly died a white woman *no pun intended),Nelson Mandela,Oprah,Destiny's Child and even Barack Obama,we still do not feel good enough.

We have defined black beauty with all hair straight and fake.My hair as a black woman is not pretty enough until it is straight.So I burn my scalp with hair relaxers,or carry the weight of having weaves,braids or wigs on my head.

My real hair is not straightened.It is soft as a baby's but kinky.I opt to have weaves because though my hair is long,I do not like it.Had it not been for my 'Nazarite' vow,I would have relaxed my hair a long time ago.Noone,except my hairdresser,is allowed to see my natural hair.(Crazy and oppressive,right).

Maybe we need to change our state of mind.I admire India Arie's bold statement and song,'I am not my hair'.She shaved off her long dreadlocks during this period.I am not my hair,a statement we black women should make a motto.'I am not my hair/I am not my skin...'-India Arie

The hair extensions should be an option,and not something that without,women would be suffocated.(Ever noticed the panic attacks women have over their hair).Black hair should not define black beauty,or success.It should just be a part of our anatomy,just like any other body part.

As for my daughter's hair,*sigh*,I better make a plan.But whatever I opt to do,I hope I teach her not to be afraid of her blackness,that her confidence,her beauty,is not found in her hair,but deep within.And of course,she better get used to the afro-comb,and be strong like any other black person.Beauty is pain.

P.S: Always write your own love story.

Ciao!

Lady E

Copyright [c] MPV by Lady E All Rights Reserved 2013

Comments

Popular Posts

Single ladies: Wife material

MPV.....my point of view! Single Ladies: Wifen Material *Royal wave*Hey single ladies,your guide is back.The pursuit for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It is on.Today I would like to make you a get-a-ring-on-it lady. Now following my articles,'Single Ladies Part 3',where I talked about the prince searching for a 'real princess',or 'Queen';and 'Brown Sugar',where the word 'brown sugar' was defined as wifen material,I would like to talk about 'wifey material'.(Whether we are that). How do we single ladies get that ring-on-it,you ask?By being wifey material.My uncle keeps on telling me,'If you want to become Mrs X,you should be a wife.You are a wife before he puts a ring on it'.What he means is that,a man will treat you the way you portray yourself.How,you ask? Ever noticed the difference between a wife and a girlfriend.Now let me break it down for you.A girlfriend usually,takes life in a more leisurely way;unlike a wife,whose focus is mo...

The Writings On The Wall

Thou shall move onto the next! And then 'If You Leave' by Destiny's Child and Next starts to play. Gosh, 'The Writings on the Wall' remains my favourite Destiny's Child album, ever. The concept of the '10 commandments' of relationships. Brilliant!  Bonjour, mes amies! Comment ça va? Ça va bien!  (Caribbean accent) Your gyal ,  moi , has been experiencing epiphanies. And a few disappointments, but life is too sweet to be upset. Lick your ice cream and have sweet red wine! I travelled through the blogosphere for inspiration for our topic today. Ironically, I also had a discussion with an acquaintance about a similar topic. There's nothing that I love more than people who brag about their intelligence. Oh, my! People pride themselves on their levels of education, often equating it to intelligence. We assess our value based on having degrees, master's degrees, and doctorates. If only those worked in relationships. I think of David Robson's '...

Script My Life: Bad Hair

My relationship with hair extensions will never be the same! It's spooky season and what a time for all things that make your stomach churn, and eyes pop! For most of this series, I review romantic comedies and dramas. The big screen allows me to live vicariously through stories and characters. I can escape my mundane life and all the imperfections in between. I can be anything that I want, through whichever character that I relate to. Funny enough I love horror and thrillers! I love the adrenalin rush of frightening encounters with the paranormal, or mentally unhinged. Most horrors or thrillers often follow a generic pattern, however there those that take the cup for scares. I will never watch 'The Exorcist' and 'The Nun' again! Apart from being scary, I am not playing with all that supernatural stuff. And here we are, watching Hulu's new flick, 'Bad Hair'. Ever since the trailer, I have been religiously following the interviews. In one interview, the f...

The Case of the Ghost

If you decide to ghost, then stay dead! I'm riled up and thinking WTF? Who the hell does he think he is? Trying to walk out of the tomb like the Messiah! Degage! But I also realised that I wasn't over it. IT! The hurt and humiliation of being ghosted. The humiliation of being relegated to  side  chick.  And the pain of going through loss alone. Who the hell does he think he is ... in my life? After many years, I bumped into him at a recent event. Actually, he called out my name and followed me. I don't know why he thought that he and I were Gucci. For two years, that guy was a poltergeist.He didn't reach out to me to explain his behaviour. He didn't send me a birthday message. No communication. Obviously, out of sight, out of mind.And then he has the nerve to call out my full government name. Honestly, I was inebriated and had no time for his nonsense. But he started saying that he and I needed to talk. He thought that I was his girl. He missed me. I'm literally...

Are You Friend Zoning Your Soulmate?

Your perfect match could be right under your nose! And then Colby O'donis' 'Under My Nose' starts playing. As the lyrics play, I can't help reflect on a recent experience that has me wondering - could he be right under my nose, and I've been too blind to see? Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? Ça va! Bring your wine glasses with you and let's have a chat. So, I've been doing some serious self-reflection after our last discussion. There's a lot of unpacking required  and I really need to let go, so that I heal. Healing leads to new beginnings. And hopefully, happy endings - metaphorically that is. We all know the friendzone - that comfortable space where we stash away people we care about but don't see as romantic partners. But could our so-called 'friends' actually be meant for more?  Lately I've been reflecting on a close acquaintance of mine whom I've realized I may have been unintentionally 'friendzoning.' We'v...