MPV......my point of view!
Single Ladies Part 2
So,for those who have been tracking with my MPVs,you would remember the first article I wrote on this platform.I began by discussing about the single woman's search for a potential,future mate.
In the last discussion,I talked about man numero uno,the widower.Today our case study is man number 2:The Divorcee.
Define divorce:It is the final termination of marital union cancelling the legal duties and responsibilies of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between the parties.So a divorcee,is the participant of the divorce.
According to recent statistics,in Zimbabwe there are 15 divorces per month.In the US,50% of marriages end in divorce,with 41% being the first marriage and 60% the second marriage.And all these happen to couples who are on average 30 years old.
And all these divorces occur due to various reasons including financial issues,infidelity,lack of communication,disability or death of a child,in-laws,amongst other causes,and it is the ugliest,most traumatic experience anyone could go through in their life.
Ever listened to Danity Kane's 'Damaged'?(Which would be the ideal Post Traumatic Stress anthem for divorcees).Yep,that is what divorced men are,damaged!Of late,it seems that I am a 'divorced man' magnet,(which makes me think maybe I should team-up with Jackie Collins and write up a book entitled,'The World Is Full Of Divorced Men'.Yes,most seem very 'happy' to be out of their former marriages for one reason or another,but others seem to be carrying wounds that wont heal.
Some of the guys that I have met have resolved to a spiritual path,some still have the hope to remarry,others are literally married to their jobs,whilst others prefer the 'bad boy',non-commitment route(these ones are the worst kind because they are on a vengeance mission.Watch out ladies,you might become one their 'victims').
I am not sure if I would ever advise any single woman with the prospects of having a decent 'life-long' relationship with a divorcee.One may be lucky though,to meet a divorcee who is not a philosopher,(apparently most of them start to have theories and misconceptions about women because of their exes).
These men are the most hard people to get to.They do not only put their guards up,but literally build the Berlin Wall around themselves.It is like they are on auto-attack to ensure that they do not go through the same nasty business they went through with 'that woman'.
We all get hurt,egos get bruised but I think such men should take a time out before they decide to take hostages with them.It is not fair to put a decent woman who has genuine interests in you through emotional torment and ugly battles of the mess from your past.Do not make your current lady pay for your ex's mistakes.
Heaven help the women who are involved with divorcees with crazy exes.That woman will give you hell,especially if she still wants him(which is usually the case).
Being single myself,and having gone through my own battles,loss of limbs and all,I am sensitive to such men,however I am not a fan of being illtreated just because someone is not in that 'space',because they are still licking their wounds,or trying to figure things out.
There are some divorced men who manage to get past their 'failed' marriages,and make a fresh new start,and having successful second chances.But these are countable,I'm thinking my fingers and toes.
I am not by all means stereotyping divorcees,I am coming from a personal experience.In the past few months I have learnt that if one wants to make a new start on a clean slate,deal with the past and close that book of your life completely.
'Leave the way you want to start',that is what I would say.It is important that a man is on the forgiveness level with his ex,and they are amicable with each other,even more when children are involved.Ground rules and boundaries should be set with the ex,if he decides on embarking on a new relationship so as to avoid complications and strife.New lady,the ex will always be a big part of his life,especially if she was his first,please play nice.
Single ladies,a divorcee is kind of like the Russian Roulette,if you are unlucky,he will be a bullet wound to your head.The relationship is mostly on his terms,whether he is willing to move on with you,how much of himself is he willing to give you(or like Nick Lachey,'what's left of him') and that he will not push you away or treat you like the carbon copy of his ex.
All the best Single Ladies in your pursuit for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It.
P.S: Always write your own love story.
Ciao!
Lady E
Copyright[c] MPV by Lady E All Rights Reserved 2013
Single Ladies Part 2
So,for those who have been tracking with my MPVs,you would remember the first article I wrote on this platform.I began by discussing about the single woman's search for a potential,future mate.
In the last discussion,I talked about man numero uno,the widower.Today our case study is man number 2:The Divorcee.
Define divorce:It is the final termination of marital union cancelling the legal duties and responsibilies of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between the parties.So a divorcee,is the participant of the divorce.
According to recent statistics,in Zimbabwe there are 15 divorces per month.In the US,50% of marriages end in divorce,with 41% being the first marriage and 60% the second marriage.And all these happen to couples who are on average 30 years old.
And all these divorces occur due to various reasons including financial issues,infidelity,lack of communication,disability or death of a child,in-laws,amongst other causes,and it is the ugliest,most traumatic experience anyone could go through in their life.
Ever listened to Danity Kane's 'Damaged'?(Which would be the ideal Post Traumatic Stress anthem for divorcees).Yep,that is what divorced men are,damaged!Of late,it seems that I am a 'divorced man' magnet,(which makes me think maybe I should team-up with Jackie Collins and write up a book entitled,'The World Is Full Of Divorced Men'.Yes,most seem very 'happy' to be out of their former marriages for one reason or another,but others seem to be carrying wounds that wont heal.
Some of the guys that I have met have resolved to a spiritual path,some still have the hope to remarry,others are literally married to their jobs,whilst others prefer the 'bad boy',non-commitment route(these ones are the worst kind because they are on a vengeance mission.Watch out ladies,you might become one their 'victims').
I am not sure if I would ever advise any single woman with the prospects of having a decent 'life-long' relationship with a divorcee.One may be lucky though,to meet a divorcee who is not a philosopher,(apparently most of them start to have theories and misconceptions about women because of their exes).
These men are the most hard people to get to.They do not only put their guards up,but literally build the Berlin Wall around themselves.It is like they are on auto-attack to ensure that they do not go through the same nasty business they went through with 'that woman'.
We all get hurt,egos get bruised but I think such men should take a time out before they decide to take hostages with them.It is not fair to put a decent woman who has genuine interests in you through emotional torment and ugly battles of the mess from your past.Do not make your current lady pay for your ex's mistakes.
Heaven help the women who are involved with divorcees with crazy exes.That woman will give you hell,especially if she still wants him(which is usually the case).
Being single myself,and having gone through my own battles,loss of limbs and all,I am sensitive to such men,however I am not a fan of being illtreated just because someone is not in that 'space',because they are still licking their wounds,or trying to figure things out.
There are some divorced men who manage to get past their 'failed' marriages,and make a fresh new start,and having successful second chances.But these are countable,I'm thinking my fingers and toes.
I am not by all means stereotyping divorcees,I am coming from a personal experience.In the past few months I have learnt that if one wants to make a new start on a clean slate,deal with the past and close that book of your life completely.
'Leave the way you want to start',that is what I would say.It is important that a man is on the forgiveness level with his ex,and they are amicable with each other,even more when children are involved.Ground rules and boundaries should be set with the ex,if he decides on embarking on a new relationship so as to avoid complications and strife.New lady,the ex will always be a big part of his life,especially if she was his first,please play nice.
Single ladies,a divorcee is kind of like the Russian Roulette,if you are unlucky,he will be a bullet wound to your head.The relationship is mostly on his terms,whether he is willing to move on with you,how much of himself is he willing to give you(or like Nick Lachey,'what's left of him') and that he will not push you away or treat you like the carbon copy of his ex.
All the best Single Ladies in your pursuit for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It.
P.S: Always write your own love story.
Ciao!
Lady E
Copyright[c] MPV by Lady E All Rights Reserved 2013
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