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Rated R

NOTE:No animals were harmed in this write-up.(To be specific,the male specie that women term as 'dogs')


'....I did not illtreat you...',a message that still makes the minute hairs of my skin stand up.Words that would make any woman seethe in anger,after being strung along,and the jerk cowardly justifies himself,via text. So today,I am checking myself and any woman who has been through the hands of a male best described as, douchebag!

Let me school you,a douchebag is a guy who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole; in short, A-list ego, D-list status.

Today ladies,we are Rated R, R for Revenge.How do you revenge that jerk who ripped your heart out,humiliated you,you aided him in defiling your temple and is the constant,tormenting poltergeist in your mind,huh?

Unfortunately,in as much as we would love the Universe to punish him,by Karma,some guys just go scorch-free.Their lives can actually get better,they will look uber hot and probably settle down with some decent girl.And you?Still pining over him,or wishing him a lovely place in the pits of hell.
So how do you avenge your bruised or broken heart?Well you don't,not really.Well,you probably have been advised,or tried to revenge Mr. Heartbreaker,so that you could either a)make him feel bad to the point he asks for another chance,or b)to stick it to him and convince yourself that you are so over him.*raised eyebrow*

Well,this notion could work depending on the type of douchebag,but if he is the ultra,with a capital letter 'D', Douchebag, the type if Satan and Hitler were to have a child, he would be their spawn, your efforts are futile. He couldn't care less.

So you probably have insulted him on your Facebook status, (who cares),called him names to his,or your friends, (you are just stroking his overinflated ego), showed up at a social event,or venue with a boy prettier than him,or has a greater status than him(Again, sad. You would probably be lucky if he even glances at you. He will probably have women who are more plastic than Nicki Minaj around him), or maybe you work very hard and probably succeed(good for you.)

Reality check,nothing you will ever do will grab his attention,or make him think twice of being with you. Like world peace,that is a pipe dream. Sounds cruel, truth hurts, but not as much what you have been through.

I will not be cruel though,and tell you to get over it,I know I am not.So how do you revenge this vindictive creature?Well process 1, is to cry him the River Nile,so that you can mount up enough anger to be strategic.If you are on the creative band wagon,you can join Mariah,Adele and myself into writing chart-topping,award winning songs.(And the idiot might claim royalties,because he inspired you,*tounge out*,maybe you will have his attention then).

Process 2,get ice cold,actually Siberia cold.Revenge is best served cold,so to execute your plot against the douchebag,you will have to become the Ice Queen,otherwise he will just manipulate your fragility,and get you in a worse state than you already are in.

The next plan is to be very strategic,and obviously not predictable.Now if you want the 101 guide to revenging that douchebag, you will have to read my notes for the book that I am writing, 'The Scoreboard.'

This is actually not a revenge plan to literally get back at him but it will surely get you on top of your game,and the world.The strategies will not get him for you,(don't even hold your breath,you just might suffocate),but you will be in a whole better space.

Ladies have I frozen you enough?Well today's session ends here,and as I said be unpredictable,so every plot should be a secret otherwise it will not work.

Dear Douchebag,

Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned.This is Rated R,R for Revenge,and you have been served.
Yours,

Just another Girl (actually, your worst nightmare.*smile*)

Now ladies,this session would be $2,982.23.I don't take cheques but I do have an ecocash account.(sic!)

P.S: Always write your own love story.

Ciao!

Lady E
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