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For Cock's Sake...Stop Blocking Me!

To be honest, I need to take charge of my own energy!


Two black men and a black woman sitting in between them

I'm at the polar opposite end of the energy spectrum right now. Part of me is like an Energizer bunny full of life, and the other part of me just wants to be in bed all day. During Sunday brunch, I was catching up with my friends at church. Some shared stories about a wedding that they attended the day before. We ended up talking about our personal experiences with romantic relationships as a result of the conversation.

From gaslighting partners to being unequally yoked to the one that got away, everyone had a riveting story. All I can say is that the streets aren't safe for singles. I keep telling my married friends and siblings to keep their picket-fence relationships. The grass ain't green out here. It's trampled savanna grass!

The grass ain't green out here ... it's trampled savanna grass!

Anyway, as we shared our singledom war stories, I was reminded of how one individual whom I revere literally cockblocked me. Even my sister was shocked when I mentioned the story. Her shock came from the fact that this man, whom we revere, isn't the type to meddle or be messy. Remember when I mentioned my actor crushWhat I never mentioned was that I actually physically met him. One of his closest friends happens to be someone I know through mutual friends. And they happened to be in my workplace on a particular day. They were in a car, and they passed by myself and KA (the man whom I revere). On their way out, they stopped and greeted us. KA then hinted that it was my crush. I lost my marbles for a few seconds and then passed a comment that if he's single, he's "hubby." Now, KA then responded that I'm not my crush's type of woman. Que? My bubble burst, and somehow that was a cockblock.

And then I thought about the 2018 comedy starring Leslie Mann and John Cena, "Cockblockers." Those parents had a wilder night than their teenage daughters (laughs). And that's none of our business! But bless his soul, I don't think KA's statement was malicious. But he did put my crush on a rather high pedestal. I mean, come on, he's just a mere mortal who happens to have an impressive iMDB profile. Imagine, that was my handkerchief moment! But thinking of it, was I really cockblocked? Like, what state was I in then? Was it for whatever reason or to be a wife? (I'm finking)

But this memory led me to today's discussion. I'm thoroughly guilty of being a cockblocker myself. And I decided to come and assist all of us who are a buzzkill to other people's mingling.Everyone's been there: You're out on a date with someone you're really into, and your friends or family show up and totally cockblock you. Or maybe you've had your eye on someone, and the opportunity to say, "Can we talk?" occurs. However, a card-carrying member of your inner circle catches "Cupid's shots." It can be really frustrating, especially if you don't know how to deal with it.

According to basically every dictionary, "cockblockers" are people who prevent others from hooking up or getting laid. They can be friends, family members, or even complete strangers. While some people may do this out of pure maliciousness, others may do it unintentionally.

One of the most common ways that cockblockers operate is by being too clingy. For example, let's say that you're out at a bar with your friends. You spot someone you're attracted to, and you start chatting them up. Things are going well, and you're about to ask for their number when your friend interrupts and starts talking to them too. Suddenly, the person you were talking to loses interest and starts talking to someone else. Your friend has just cockblocked you.

They can also strike when you least expect it. Let's say you're finally on a date with the person you've been crushing on for months. Things are going great, and you're about to lean in for a kiss when their phone rings. It's their best friend, and they need to talk. Your date steps away to take the call, and when they come back, they're not in the mood to kiss anymore. You've just been cockblocked by technology.

It can be a friend or family member who sets you up on a blind date with someone. You and this person have a strong scientific connection—chemistry, physics, and you both want to learn more about biology.And then the minute you step out for a tinkle or to powder your nose, they say something that puts off your potential mate. Now that's a conundrum that I know too well.

Cockblockers come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes they're people you know, and other times they're complete strangers. But one thing is for sure: They can ruin your chances of hooking up. So next time you're out trying to score, watch out for the cockblockers.

But keep in mind that communication is the difference between being cockblocked by friends and family.With friends, you can usually have an open conversation about it. With family, things can be a bit more complicated. If possible, try to talk to your friends and family about why they're doing it. And who knows? They may even come around in the end. In fact, I think it's important to do so.

First of all, you need to stay calm. Getting mad or frustrated isn't going to help anything. And remember, it's not always intentional—your friends and family might not even realise they're doing it.

How do you get someone to stop cockblocking you? I would like to have a conversation with them. Let them know that you're not happy with their behaviour and explain how it's impacting you. Most likely, they'll understand where you're coming from and change their ways. If not, you might have to put some boundaries in place and tell them that they can't interfere with your dating life anymore.

If talking or setting boundaries doesn't work, sometimes the best way to deal with cockblockers is to just ignore them. Let them know that their opinions don't matter to you and go about your business.

The worst of these, however, is you. I am most guilty of this act. Hence, I stated that I needed to take charge of my own energy. You have the ability to be a cockblocker. You sabotage any potential romantic relationship or simply a great shag parce que you overthink things. Like, why are we these people? 

Back to my conversation with KA, I realised that he didn't cockblock me. I was presented with another opportunity with the same crush. But I didn't rise to the occasion parce que overthinking. One thing that I have learned is to mind my own business. If I am someone’s wingwoman, I just ask them to stay safe. Otherwise, they are adults and must learn to make their own mistakes.

Go out there! Sow your wild seeds as if you really need to shoot your shot or drop that handkerchief to make things hot! 

Go out there! Sow your wild seeds as if you really need to shoot your shot or drop that handkerchief to make things hot!

Let nobody come between you and that thing à la Lauryn Hill.


P.S.: Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E




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