Let art offer you introspect and choose a different imitation of life!
Honestly, I wanted to 'sing my life' with Summer Walker's, 'Still not over it." For those who understand my eclectic. For the ladies of R&B, I love Kehlani, Teyana Taylor, Jhené Aiko, SZA, Queen Naija, and Summer Walker. Summer is a whole lot of mess, but hella talented. Her music speaks to my millennial soul.
But I watched "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" with my sisters. Have you ever had a group of black women watch and assess a movie? As Amanda Seales once said, it's giving you an interactive experience. So many views on the plot.
Honestly, though, I really need new flicks to watch! I had an "aha!" moment and decided to dig through my flicks. And due to my constant frustration with certain characters, here are the unhealthy relationship tropes and takeaways from each watch.
Helen in a Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Of course, this was the top of my list. Have I ever mentioned that the Madea character has similarities to my maternal grandmother? The stories that I could tell, but that's none of our business in this context. In a previous post, I shared that I love Tyler Perry's movies. One of them is The Diary of a Mad Black Woman. I will reiterate: Kimberly Elise is a brilliant actress! Her range and embodiment of her characters needs to be applauded. Due to her execution skills of the character Helen, let's talk about Helen.
Helen Mccarthy (Kimberly Elise) is the loyal and long-suffering wife of Atlanta hot-shot lawyer Charles (Steve Harris). She's shocked when he announces he's ending their 18-year marriage. Charles cruelly kicks Helen out after moving in with his mistress and mother of his two children, Brenda (Lisa Marcos).
Helen ends up at her grandmother Madea's (Perry) house and all hell breaks loose. Helen will have to learn to start life again, including rebuilding old relationships. She is courted by Orlando, who proposes marriage to her. Unfortunately, Charles is fatally shot by a corrupt client and faces death. Brenda abandons him, and Charles is left at the mercy of Helen—a mad, black woman! Helen will have to learn to forgive and accept the love that she deserves from Orlando.
The unhealthy relationship takeaway: Helen sought closure by going back to Charles; she didn't have to. He told her straight up that he didn't want to be married to her. She even stated that she didn't want anything from him during their divorce proceedings. So why did she go back to not only save his life, but nurse him back to health? I asked these questions because she had found love in Orlando. Honestly, Helen did Orlando dirty, and he was a simp for taking her back. That's all unhealthy. We can't treat people like yo-yos.
Make up your mind first before you move onto the next.
Mary Jane in Being Mary Jane the Movie (a.k.a Season 5)
Imagine that I religiously watched BMJ from the first season to the last. To an extent, Mara Brock Akil has challenges with most of her really fire television series. Anyway, following the cliffhanger in season four, BET’s Being Mary Jane returned for a two-hour series finale.
Gabrielle Union’s character, Mary Jane Paul, picks up from the previous season. Justin returns to propose to her after she decides to get artificially inseminated. Days later, she discovers that she's expecting a baby, just not Justin's. Justin is upset by MJ's impulsive decisions and walks out of the relationship. Months later, MJ is preparing for her baby alone.
She runs into her old college flame, Beau (Morris Chestnut). The two begin to date, and Beau is there for MJ when she gives birth to her son, Albert James Patterson. Even MJ's family loves Beau for her, but there's always the ghost from the past, Justin. Justin returns to the station following Kara's double mastectomy. He's MJ's temporary producer, and clearly the two are still in love with each other.
Justin and Beau fight over MJ, but she ends up choosing Justin. We are brought to the present time where MJ is marrying Justin.
The unhealthy relationship takeaway: I won't lie. I loved MJ's wedding dress and Stevie Wonder's "Overjoyed." (I did tell y'all that if ever I wed, I would love to walk down the aisle to "Overjoyed," right?). Pauletta Patterson, a.k.a. Mary Jane Paul, is the most frustrating female character I've watched. (Her, Devy, and Kat). She's the reason why we women don't deserve good things. IRL, I would have stuck with Beau. He was consistent and decisive. From the beginning, MJ and Justin's relationship was unhealthy. Far too much deception and power play occur.
Beautiful love stories belong to those who are open to love (and can see it) and can appreciate it.
Princess in Happiness Ever After
Who doesn't love a relatable African chick flick? Happiness Ever After is the sequel to the 2016 rom-com. "Happiness Is a Four-Letter Word." The Netflix film follows three friends facing challenges in their personal lives. After her tycoon husband's death, Zaza (Khanyi Mbau) struggles to keep her children and wealth.Princess Renate Stuurman prepares to marry the perfect man—until he isn't. And Zim (Nambitha Ben-Mazwi) struggles with looking for love in all the wrong places.
But let's focus on Princess. In Happiness Is a Four-Letter Word, she falls in love with Leo (Richard Lukunku). Leo inspires her creativity as he cooks and paints. He's exciting, but he's a bad boy. Princess falls pregnant, and Leo is MIA. Four years later, she's in what seems to be a happy relationship with Max (Daniel Etim Effiong). Max is stable and even takes care of Princess' daughter, Thandi, as his own. Leo shows up and disrupts Princess' life. She falls back into old habits, including sleeping with him. She ends her engagement with Max, only to be disappointed by Leo. He can't even remember to pick Thandi up from school.
The unhealthy relationship takeaway: Princess is the reason why single mothers don't deserve good things. I am going to agree with what the late Kevin Samuels said: single mothers should stay with their baby daddies. Princess' poor choice (yes, I said it) proves why single men should not entertain or take in a woman and her child or children. I say this as a single mother myself. Well, if Max came into my life, I would ensure that I wouldn't self-sabotage. Max wasn't controlling. Princess was indecisive.
Again, evaluate your sperm donor before you conceive.
Sutton Brady in The Bold Type
This wasn't my favourite episode, yet I've talked about it enough times. Yes, The Bold Type: Season 4, Episode 15 themes, "Love." The episode explores the dynamics of relationships by looking at five protagonists. However, our love story focus is on Richard and Sutton. Following Sutton's revelation that she doesn't want to ever have children, the couple argues. Richard says, "So either way, one of us loses." I’m just so sick of it being me.
The next day, Richard turns to Jacqueline for advice, confessing that he’s always wanted to do better than his own parents. Now he must choose between Sutton and children. Meanwhile, Sutton rushes home with the hope that Richard will be waiting for her—and he is! They both apologise before making love, but it turns out that it was goodbye sex. A tearful Sutton calls Jane and Kat, because Richard left them.
The unhealthy relationship takeaway: Sutton was never Richard's wife. He's had the raw end of the deal since season one. She's always been flaky and failed to allow Richard to be the partner that she needed. Sutton always chooses Sutton. Good for her, but selfish for the relationship. And had they had gone for premarital counseling; they wouldn't have wasted their (and our) time.
Focus on realistic long-term goals and not short-term fantasies.
Melvin and Lisa in Boxing Day
Honestly, when I first watched Boxing Day, I thought that it was boring. And then my sister and I watched it again. And well. The British Christmas romantic comedy stars Aml Ameel, Aja Naomi King, Marianne Jean-Baptiste and Leigh-Anne Pinnock, who is making her film debut.
Melvin "Smelly" Mckenzie (Aml Ameen) is a British immigrant living in Los Angeles. After the release of his new book, he is prompted to go back home to London for the first time in two years in order to promote his book. Lisa Dixon (Aja Naomi King) finds out that she's pregnant and that there's a job opportunity in Australia. She puts the phone on hold, telling Melvin, and they travel to London to meet Melvin's lovable but dysfunctional Caribbean-British family. While there, things become complicated by the presence of his ex-girlfriend and global superstar Georgia (Leigh-Anne Pinnock), who still has unresolved feelings for him and is very close with the family he left behind.
The unhealthy relationship takeaway: You can never build a good relationship on a foundation of lies. Lisa failed to discuss life-altering changes in her life. A pregnancy and possible relocation. Melvin ghosted Georgia and was dishonest with Lisa. The love triangle was uncalled for. Georgia deserved better.
Close one door before you go unlock the other doors.
Let art offer you introspect and choose a different imitation of life!
All the above flicks show how we support a lack of accountability and poor choices. The above characters are selfish and misguided. They waste perfectly good people's time due to their indecisiveness.
Film and television need to stop romanticising toxic love stories. These characters need therapy. They need to deal with their issues instead of stringing other people along.
And they say that you can't learn anything from cinema. If you take a peek, movies are art imitating real life.
Until the next script...
P.S. Always write your own love story!
Ciao!
Lady E
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