Skip to main content

Between Friends

I don't want to make it a thing, but I think that I see my friend differently.




Yep! I had a halo moment with one of my closest and dearest friends. I've always appreciated him as a decent human being. He's actually my safe space. I love being around him and feeling comfortable to be myself. He is one of my biggest cheerleaders. I don't know what I would do without him.

We spent the day together. We've both been going through different life struggles. We needed each other. To talk. Get things off the chest. Vent. And on my part even cry. And of course, there's always room for a shot or two. Honestly, I missed him. I've been so wrapped up in work that our schedules didn't match up. While stressful, I love the free time.

Had forgotten that he's such a sweet man. We still disagree on a lot but who else do I want debates with. And yes, I do love him from the depths of my soul. And that's why, the idea of he and I shifting the platonic to romantic isn't the wisest. I know, I always say that what I'm looking for could be right in front of me. It's said that best friends make the best lovers. True to a larger degree. However, we can lose great friendships because we inserted sex and relationship complications.

Our friendship took years to reach that space of mutual respect. That space where he and I could be open and vulnerable with each other. Without judgement. He and I have a dynamic friendship. We don't always see each other, but when we do, it's like we never lost time. I know that he knows most of my secrets that my girlfriends don't know about. No offence to my girls, he's great at offering a pros and cons perspective. Love y'all. 

The question is, are we "When Harry Met Sally"? Can a heterosexual man and woman be just friends? I recall sharing my experiences with the friend zone. I don't friend zone. It's either as a potential love interest you are in the gray zone or you are a man I do work collaborations with. For the latter, I won't lie there are chances of becoming platonic friends. Well, from my gaze, because I really prefer to trust the people whom I share my vision and business with. 

There is a lot of misinformation about how people perceive friendships between men and women. There is a lot of misinformation about how men and women perceive platonic friendships. There are a lot of misconceptions about how people should behave in relationships. There are a lot of different perceptions of relationships. There are also a lot of different perceptions of what people want in a relationship.

Some people just go for the type of person they like and stay friends or go on dates with them. Others fall in love and have a serious relationship. Some people are into casual relationships and others are not. People are different and have different relationships with the people they are interested in.

Now back to my friend. I think that because I've been in a rather vulnerable state, I'm looking for a hero. Most of me is tired of the searching, waiting and mostly failing. Maybe that halo emaneted from my insecurities of never finding 'the one'. So who would be the most attractive individual to my needs? My friend.But again is a really good friendship worth ruining by taking things further. 

We have to ask ourselves again, if ever I was attracted to that friend in the first place? Or does familiarity breed attraction? What happens between friends? It could be Chante Moore's "I See You", Mario's "Just a Friend", or end up as Mary J. Blige's "Seven Days."

What happens between friends? You make your choice and hopefully you can live with it.

P.S.: Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E


Comments

Popular Posts

The Red Season: Breadcrumbs of Love

No matter how broken you are, a meal of love is what you need. For the first time in a long time, I will admit on this platform, I will admit that I cried. I felt humiliated and hurt. Mariah Carey's "Cry" is playing in my head. I keep asking myself why am I this person? Why do I keep scraping for crumbs of love? Am I not enough? And following a recent disappointment, I reverted to a quote that I saw on a certain blog. "You could have the best intentions, you could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be a good woman and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man because the only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you,"  Sipho Mbhele. "You could have the best intentions, you could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be a good woman and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man because the only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you,"  Sipho Mbhele. Gosh, I'm tired of this circus. The fact

5 Inexpensive Dates in a Bad Economy

If he's making the economy an excuse, swipe left.... A guy who makes too many excuses whilst pursuing you is not worth your time. He will make excuses for not making time for you. More so, for not taking you on a date. A real man makes a plan...all the time! Yes, the economy is atrocious...a complete nightmare! Does that mean that humanity stops? Y'all,  we have procreation to continue until the end of time. A season of a recession, shouldn't hinder dates, relationships and the whole nine yards that come with that package. Couples over centuries overcame obstacles such as family feuds, classism, racism, tribalism, religious differences etc. They all found a way around those challenges. Any guy who uses 'in this economy' as an excuse is dropped like a pin. Honestly, such an individual lacks ambition and creativity. I want the flowers, chocolate, and the date. Otherwise...skrrr! You will have to show innovation in your pursuit. If you can't be strategic w

The Writings On The Wall

Thou shall move onto the next! And then 'If You Leave' by Destiny's Child and Next starts to play. Gosh, 'The Writings on the Wall' remains my favourite Destiny's Child album, ever. The concept of the '10 commandments' of relationships. Brilliant!  Bonjour, mes amies! Comment ça va? Ça va bien! (Caribbean accent) Your gyal ,  moi , has been experiencing epiphanies. And a few disappointments, but life is too sweet to be upset. Lick your ice cream and have sweet red wine! I travelled through the blogosphere for inspiration for our topic today. Ironically, I also had a discussion with an acquaintance about a similar topic. There's nothing that I love more than people who brag about their intelligence. Oh, my! People pride themselves on their levels of education, often equating it to intelligence. We assess our value based on having degrees, master's degrees, and doctorates. If only those worked in relationships. I think of David Robson's 'W

Dirty Laundry Diaries: Hurts Like a Mother F***er

My humanity will let me hurt as much as I can and be unapologetic for it… I never thought that I would find myself at this place again. Over the past few years, I learnt the word ‘No’ and embraced my power to reject mediocrity. Be it work, life and even romantic relationships. Sigh! I recently found myself breaking almost every rule of every self-help book that I’ve read. Reading is supposed to empower you with knowledge and also help you with making better life choices! Anyway, I recently had to break it off with some guy because of ‘incorrect assumptions’, when will I ever learn? "In my own rule book,   CONSISTENCY is very important." In my own rule book, CONSISTENCY is very important. The moment that there is lack of consistency during the dating period or in a relationship it’s, “Off with his head” (In the voice of the queen of hearts). Sic! But what started off well, ended up like the familiar script that I have writing about for a long time. As Whitney

Script My Life: The Greatest Roles

Cheers to a new month, new season and more scripts... I really need new flicks to watch! I will admit that I haven't caught up with the late 2018 and early 2019 movies. But I know that after this blog post, y'all will hook me up. XOXO in advance! We are in the month of August! The second month in the second half of the year! A happy birthday to all the Leos and Virgos! Some of the greats were born this month including my beautiful daughter, Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston. August babies are strong willed and have leadership bred in them. They are just a forceful lot! In the Shona language, August is ' Nyamavhuvhu ' which loosely translated means 'windy'. August babies aren't gentle breezes, they are the tornados and hurricanes; but we love them still! The month itself on this side of the hemisphere is windy! But the wind comes to somewhat renew and pave way for the brief spring season (in Africa, of course!) Wrapping up July, and starting o