Skip to main content

Between Friends

I don't want to make it a thing, but I think that I see my friend differently.




Yep! I had a halo moment with one of my closest and dearest friends. I've always appreciated him as a decent human being. He's actually my safe space. I love being around him and feeling comfortable to be myself. He is one of my biggest cheerleaders. I don't know what I would do without him.

We spent the day together. We've both been going through different life struggles. We needed each other. To talk. Get things off the chest. Vent. And on my part even cry. And of course, there's always room for a shot or two. Honestly, I missed him. I've been so wrapped up in work that our schedules didn't match up. While stressful, I love the free time.

Had forgotten that he's such a sweet man. We still disagree on a lot but who else do I want debates with. And yes, I do love him from the depths of my soul. And that's why, the idea of he and I shifting the platonic to romantic isn't the wisest. I know, I always say that what I'm looking for could be right in front of me. It's said that best friends make the best lovers. True to a larger degree. However, we can lose great friendships because we inserted sex and relationship complications.

Our friendship took years to reach that space of mutual respect. That space where he and I could be open and vulnerable with each other. Without judgement. He and I have a dynamic friendship. We don't always see each other, but when we do, it's like we never lost time. I know that he knows most of my secrets that my girlfriends don't know about. No offence to my girls, he's great at offering a pros and cons perspective. Love y'all. 

The question is, are we "When Harry Met Sally"? Can a heterosexual man and woman be just friends? I recall sharing my experiences with the friend zone. I don't friend zone. It's either as a potential love interest you are in the gray zone or you are a man I do work collaborations with. For the latter, I won't lie there are chances of becoming platonic friends. Well, from my gaze, because I really prefer to trust the people whom I share my vision and business with. 

There is a lot of misinformation about how people perceive friendships between men and women. There is a lot of misinformation about how men and women perceive platonic friendships. There are a lot of misconceptions about how people should behave in relationships. There are a lot of different perceptions of relationships. There are also a lot of different perceptions of what people want in a relationship.

Some people just go for the type of person they like and stay friends or go on dates with them. Others fall in love and have a serious relationship. Some people are into casual relationships and others are not. People are different and have different relationships with the people they are interested in.

Now back to my friend. I think that because I've been in a rather vulnerable state, I'm looking for a hero. Most of me is tired of the searching, waiting and mostly failing. Maybe that halo emaneted from my insecurities of never finding 'the one'. So who would be the most attractive individual to my needs? My friend.But again is a really good friendship worth ruining by taking things further. 

We have to ask ourselves again, if ever I was attracted to that friend in the first place? Or does familiarity breed attraction? What happens between friends? It could be Chante Moore's "I See You", Mario's "Just a Friend", or end up as Mary J. Blige's "Seven Days."

What happens between friends? You make your choice and hopefully you can live with it.

P.S.: Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E


Comments

Popular Posts

Single Ladies: Choc or Vanilla

All that talk about brown sugar yesterday,suddenly gave me a toothache, (Yeah, Dre, I heard you loud and clear!). Anyway,still on that subject of sweet things, ladies, chocolate, mocha or vanilla? As we pursue our quest for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It,I am placing another option for us, getting a man outside our own race. (If you are cocoa you go for latte  and vice versa). Bachelor number 3: The Foreigner. On set of a production that I am working on, one of the ladies, (mixed race), was telling me how she has never dated a black man. It actually got me thinking, maybe I too, should fish in foreign waters. Why not, I have always been considered a coconut. My sisters have been telling me (for the longest time), that maybe I should get me a white man, or of the Caucasian persuasion because I think that I have failed with black 'men', and maybe I should *thinking*. I love my chocolate, but I do love the scent of vanilla. What are the advantages of dating outside one's race? First ...

Baa baa Black Sheep

‘Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full One for the master, One for the dame, One for the little boy who lives down the lane.”-Baa baa Black Sheep, Nursery Rhyme Oh how I loved nursery school! Learning was so much fun and colourful as the teachers taught using music, visuals and lots of play and let’s not forget nap time! Gosh! (I stare into a blank space with so much nostalgia). Hmm, question! Is there more to life than trying to constantly fit into other people’s moulds? Are my imperfections so great that those around are blinded to the planks to the planks in their own eyes? Or maybe I am just not appropriately in the right place? At one point or another, we all have faced identity issues, or have suffered from the ‘I don’t fit in’ syndrome. The worst time is the puberty-adolescent period. As an individual, one tries to live up to expectations from parents, teachers, peers and society at large. During that same period, an ...

3 Things Learnt In January Via www.com

Bienvenue à la nouvelle année! To all those who survived the month of January, its infamous ‘disease’, and all that comes with a New Year, I salute you all as you fought bravely and now we begin the month of February, which is a new month, meaning new beginnings. So there’s a common saying that goes, ’How you start is how you finish’ and to add onto that statement, the pastor at the church that I attend often says, ‘How you leave is how you enter’, so pertaining to the year 2017, what’s the forecast? Well, for those who managed to utilise the unlimited Wi-Fi data provided by Zol during their holiday promotion or just use regular mobile data (well, after the slight ‘disruption’ due to data increases), managed to keep their fingers on the pulse of the streets of the World Wide Web, and they definitely can map out 2017’s direction. Actually the month of January made me realise that the acronym ‘IRL’ (in real life) should probably cease to exist in the urban dictionary because when you t...

Issue Of Trust

Life isn't science that's why there are no formulas... Yet we expect everyone to go through life like the copies of the same textbook. It's easy to condemn someone for not having their act together. Often when you expect very little from specific individuals, you persecute them. As I write this blog, there are thousands of people going through tough times and bound in silence. Someone right now just lost their job, another person is now homeless with an overdue rent debt. Schools are about to open and coming up with school fees is proving to be an immense challenge. I've been open about my current life situation - it's been hard. I remember bumping into a former colleague in a supermarket. We had a brief catch up a session; she was doing well; I wasn't. With pain in my voice, I mentioned that it's been hard, not to mention that I looked like crap. But I don't think she cared, we were never friends like that. But today I reached out to one of ...

Single Ladies: The Metrosexual

*Riding on a black horse* (I wish).* Beyoncé  wave* 'Hey single ladies!'. For a lady on a quest, the horse would have been ideal,right? Anyway ,how have y'all been? I hope the lessons that we are going through are helping us build character. (Wifen material). Today we have yet another bachelor under our radar. So we have so far, gone through our potential Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It who has been bachelor; the widower, the divorcee, the foreigner, the boy and last but not least, the single dad. Not so bad ladies. Now bachelor number six is,the metrosexual. Now why should we place such a man on our panel,you ask? Well,he is my personal favourite *wink*. The anatomy of a metrosexual. By definition a metrosexual is an urban man with a disposable income who spends a lot on his appearances. In other words, a guy's guy who is in touch with his inner pink. Now why would a metrosexual be a good candidate for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It? He is not. Most metrosexual men, if not gay, or...