Skip to main content

Loyal But Not Dumb

The journey of a healthy, secure human being entails peace and maturity!

Cute dog in blankets


Many perceive the state as complacent and dumb! Don't get it twisted, this sanity will keep many alive. I have been experiencing anxiety attacks despite recently stepping out of my comfort zone. As a fearful-avoidant attachment type, I guard my personal space like a trained pit bull. I am detached from the world especially those in my inner circle. I haven't spoken to a lot of my close friends, and relatives in a long time. The nonchalance in my demeanor worries me a bit specifically that they don't check up on me either. Yes, we are going through a pandemic and uprisings amongst personal struggles. It's barely the time to have high expectations of human relationships. Still, aware of my dispositions I take into account that I need help.

I had quite an unexpected weekend of adventure with my sister and neighbors. I took my advice and put myself out there, mask and all. I tried to get out of my head and experience the moment. Back to the real world, there's a knot in my stomach and I'm suffering from headaches. I'm actually a decent human being. With growth and constant unpacking of the baggage, I'm empathetic, I try to avoid being neurotic and I seek the higher self. But when you are the only one on a personal journey of growth in your space and circles, some may take advantage of that. Others with narcissistic tendencies believe that you are feeding into their energy, hence 'ill-treating' you. I will light-heartedly say this, the reason that you are not in some ditch in a remote place is the fact that we are works in progress. Yabona!  And then smiles.

On the real though, assumptions make an ass of you. In the same paragraph maybe some of you need to check yourselves. Again as I heal, and work towards being a secure type, I do protect my space. That means social distancing my being from toxic individuals and triggers. There will be a time where flight isn't the best course of action. We will have to face every demon and deal with them. It might get ugly, but we only become victors after overcoming....not running. 

Hello team we are a work in progress. How has your journey been? I decided to share a few pearls of wisdom. These will help with gauging our progress. It helps to have measurable achievements, or changes. You know like how we react to triggers, how we are open to relationships and how we love ourselves. So let's talk about our healing process.

1.

You are in a
position to control the emotions that affect your reactions.

2. You are able to let people, or your partner about your triggers. Being able to communicate how you feel and the thoughts that go through your mind, prevents assumptions.

3. Self perception is more positive as you detach yourself from negative notions.

4. It's okay to not be okay, and perfection isn't a deal breaker.

5. People learn to respect the boundaries that you set.

6. Empathy is second nature to you.

7. Forgive and forget is your life mantra.

8. You know who you are.

So we are a peaceful kind, empathetic, open minded and patient. But let's remember that we are not door mats. We aren't accepting toxic behaviours from external forces to treat who are becoming as dumb. 

Here's to healing, growth and maturity!

 

P.S.: Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E

 

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Single ladies: Wife material

MPV.....my point of view! Single Ladies: Wifen Material *Royal wave*Hey single ladies,your guide is back.The pursuit for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It is on.Today I would like to make you a get-a-ring-on-it lady. Now following my articles,'Single Ladies Part 3',where I talked about the prince searching for a 'real princess',or 'Queen';and 'Brown Sugar',where the word 'brown sugar' was defined as wifen material,I would like to talk about 'wifey material'.(Whether we are that). How do we single ladies get that ring-on-it,you ask?By being wifey material.My uncle keeps on telling me,'If you want to become Mrs X,you should be a wife.You are a wife before he puts a ring on it'.What he means is that,a man will treat you the way you portray yourself.How,you ask? Ever noticed the difference between a wife and a girlfriend.Now let me break it down for you.A girlfriend usually,takes life in a more leisurely way;unlike a wife,whose focus is mo...
Post a Comment
Read more

Winter ABC Day 14: 5 Africans Who Inspire Me

I told you that this week is awesome! I love Africa! I love the people even more! I love our diversity in skin tones. I love our various languages that include clicks, coughs and long syllables. Our traditions may differ but they are somewhat intertwined. Africa isn't just the cradle of mankind. It is the stew pot of talent, intelligence and creativity. I procrastinated for a long time about writing about my African inspirations. With this challenge I have the opportunity to take action. My top 5 list includes creatives from various genres of media, arts and entertainment. As a creative myself,  I incline naturally towards those who are like myself. It is true that, 'birds of the same feather, flock together,' and away do I fly with the eagles. Without further due, below are the 5 Africans who inspire me. 1. Bonang Matheba Did you know that Bonang Matheba and I were born a week and a half apart in 1987? Now you know! I live vicariously through queen B!  She is my ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Like A Love Song

The best ever written love song isn't perfect but it works! 'I,I love you like a love song baby,I,I love you like a love song,babe.....',young Selena Gomez singing,and vocalising what we would all take love as...a LOVE song. The love song. Women can only dream about being loved the way Gerald Levert put it,'made to love you', or have 'this love' a la Donell Jones. And I'm not talking about the exaggerated 'catching of grenades','crossing oceans',drinking of lovers' bath waters.But a love that leaves one gasping for air as they try to breathe in,a love that gives one warm fuzzy feelings inside.A love that also stands the test of time,and conquers all. But is the impression we are given by love songs similar to real relationships?Would a man not want to be 'mad' like Ne-yo, or beg you to 'stay' like Tyrese? Some may agree,whilst others would be at the other end of the pole. In the mean time men might find Beyonc...
Post a Comment
Read more

I Ain't Got My Shit Together

It's okay that I'm not the ideal because I'm a work in progress! I was listening to Brandy's discography and then I resonated with the lyrics to 'Camouflage'. I love the part when she sings, " And God knows I ain't perfect, Tell me who in the world is, All I know is that I'm searching, For somebody to love me with." Yes, then I recall my many arguments with Sagittarius. Always fighting dirty and hitting below the belt. As I have previously highlighted, I asked of him, to step up and meet me halfway. That's what normal people in a relationship do, right? Attempting reverse psychology on me, he would state that I thought of myself as 'perfect'. Whilst I chastised him, not to be condescending, but to make the relationship 'work', but I was the villain. He would be petty and sulk that he's always wrong with me instead of taking responsibility. Sigh! I wish that he chose to understand that I'm far from perfect. I hav...
Post a Comment
Read more

Before We Lay

“Every father bears a fundamental obligation to do right by their children,” - Barack Obama With the hype and quotes around Michelle Obama’s book, ‘Becoming’, Barack seems to be the ‘ideal man’. Of course he is only human and bound to err, but for purposes of this discussion, his quotes are a point of reference. We live in an age of great access to information whether negative or positive. We are also in a space for more conversation about sexual liberation. In a previous post, I shared about the modern woman owning her sexuality. And I still stand firmly by that stance, because ownership of one’s sexuality also reflects upon other areas of their life. That point was also touched on, when I discussed about celibacy. The point is that we are in charge of what mostly happens in our lives based on our ‘choices’. Part of choice is being responsible and accountable. Responsibility isn’t fun to be honest but it’s necessary especially for maturity. In other parts of our liv...
Post a Comment
Read more