Skip to main content

Don't Give Your Piece of Mind

You don't need to give everyone your piece of mind, because you will have none of it for yourself.




It's Monday and I'm spectating the repercussions of mismanagement of social media. We have so much free time on our hands to be keyboard ninjas. If it's not about politics, it's the politics of being online. A close person to I, who unraveled on social media embarrassed me. Sympathy wasn't my first reaction because I do not condone drunk texting of any sort. As a recovered felon of such acts, I have come to a place where I have realised that sometimes, silence will get you on the Forbes list (it is pure wealth). Now I am a fan of several opinionated individuals on social media. Some provide enlightenment, whilst others, are just mere entertainment. Kanye West is one of the individuals.

Sadly, those on the internet were bystanders watching this man, who's been open about his mental health issues, unravel. In a thread of tweets, Kanye spoke out about his wife, and mother-in-law, Kris Jenner. He compared their treatment of his state of Jordan Peele's, "Get Out". In my head, I was like, you chose to marry a Caucasian woman with the 'wokeness' that you possessed earlier, didn't you? So, ignore that tweet, and move to the next. Honestly, in all the glory of his musicality, Kanye makes me sad. I respect that he voices his opinions despite being unpopular but the very essence of individuality is admirable. Don't even come after me for being anti-mob psychology. We need to be objective and listen to third opinions because the world isn't as black and white as we obsess about. Post the tweets and embarrassment, Ye, yet again, apologizes on Twitter to his wife.




Somebody should really take away gadgets from individuals obsessed with airing dirty laundry on social media. It's not just dirty laundry though? It's the clout chasing, attention-seeking to vulgar clap backs. The sad thing is when these individuals can't handle the savagery of the innanet they want to play victim. I say this with individuals such as Azalea Banks, who recently shared her joy over Nick Cannon's dismissal. She didn't add any sympathy to her plight. Instead, she continues to be a toxic human being whose talent is overshadowed by her distasteful online behaviour. I once shared a post in another publication about the repercussions of just going Nike on social media. What you tweet, your live videos and photos create perceptions. And the internet never forgets, worse still, we have people who do a better job than any central intelligence organisation. Remember when they dug up Kevin Hart's 'homophobic' tweets, or Trevor Noah's 'sexist' tweets, even better, Tyra Banks America's Next Top Model (ANTM) footage of her discriminating another woman of colour for her flaws? Yep, that's the virtual world that we live in that extends its side effects to the real world, offline. I remember an acquaintance sharing how she wouldn't hire a certain individual because of their 'digital footprint'. Yes, our generation craves attention and sadly this is the ripple effect of terrible economies, overworked parents, and ignored mental health issues.

I am aware of my personal consumption of the internet. I too felt that I should share every single thing that comes to my mind. As I have grown older, the wisdom that I have captured is that your mind isn't for everyone. We need to tread across the complex streets of the internet with caution for the sake of peace of mind. I am a business, an artist, a mother, and an individual who deals with mental health issues. I hold my presence online with a lot of thought in how Beyonce's PR team handles hers. Ever seen Beyonce enter a 'twar' with anybody? How does she post on Instagram? How has she even dropped an album, or revealed her pregnancies? I understand that millennials and centennials seek authenticity from individuals and brands that they love, but there's a way to do it. Don't shoot yourself in the foot by your online habits. You could stop that bag that you so dearly hashtag about. You could lose endorsement deals or potential clients from just an uncensored percolation of your thoughts. Apart from your reputation, do you ever think about the surrounding people? Your family, friends, partners, or children. Again, as a recovering sinner of many online atrocities, I have had to think about my daughter. She has said that she emulates me, and I can even see that in the things she does. Now if mummy posts uncouth content, or is wrapped up in scandals, what am I saying to her?

Somewhere in Kanye West, is a man who is passionate about changing the world. 'Jesus Walks' spoke to me as a teenager, and a writer, along with his early discography. There is a man who loves his family and would want them to experience a meaningful life. His marriage to Kim doesn't fall on my OTP list or couple goals, however, no wife should be dragged on social media. Actually don't drag even your mortal enemy on social media, because you will only look like a clown. Sometimes we beef with people online but if this was a match of the brawn, fists, or anything physical, we might not win. Mind I do not condone violence, my point is that whatever mess you say, or cause online, you should be able to stand by it in real life. Don't run your mouth, if you aren't able to defend yourself, or you become sheepish when you meet those people. In addition if you do suffer from depression, bipolar, or any mental illness, you don't want to trigger yourself. Research has proved that being online particulary social media, induces stress in individuals. This is often due to things like FOMO, and unrealistic expectations set by other people's posts to name but a few. There are so many triggers for one who might not be undergoing any sort of treatment, still, even those getting help.

So I like reality star and singer Moniece Slaughter. For those living under rocks, she was a cast member of Love and Hip Hop Hollywood, and former B2K member, Lil Fizz's baby mama. For the first seasons, I was always like, "whoa', this pint-sized baby mama is a firecracker. In addition, she drags errrything on social media. In later seasons, she revealed that she struggled with mental health issues. In one episode, I then realized how the show somewhat manipulated her struggles. While they script reality shows, Moniece deserves better. I think she needs to stay away from social media, we need a better outlet for her anxieties and frustrations. She is a beautiful woman, who speaks eloquently and can actually sing. That energy would be better off used in those areas. But there are so many of us who get caught up and forget that there's a boomerang effect on our actions. It doesn't help when we are unhinged, or intoxicated, or even grieving. I have just posted things out of pain, (if you are reading this, it's too late), I have deleted my indiscretions way before I chastise anyone. This act right here is out of empathy because we have to be responsible for every action. If you are grown up, you are responsible for the sticks and stones that you throw. You are responsible for your reaction to every negative action. But most of all, you are responsible for the side effects of triggers on your mental health.

It's time to just stop and take a hiatus, honestly, the world is in so much chaos, nobody will worry about you being offline. And for your sake, it is good. If you will offer a piece of your mind on issues such as politics, Black Lives Matter, the gender pay gap, to name but a few, educate yourself first. Don't Kanye 'Harriet Tubman' abeg, and realise that there will be consequences for your activism, but our generation needs MLKs, the Mandelas, Fela Kuti, and even a Moses who asks, 'Pharaoh, Let my people go'. Just prepare yourself for the consequences and soldier on with your quest for the sake of humanity. Again, collect your thoughts, and keep them more private as possible. Not everyone comprehends your logic, or notions in the same manner hence you might receive unwarranted backlash which would offend you instead. But everything that is pure, that is true, and you can stand by, empower humanity with your quotable quotes.

You don't need give everyone your piece of mind, because you will have none of it for yourself.


Taking responsibility of your actions and reactions is the best way to preserve your mental health.

Take care of yourselves in these streets, online and offline. Remember the safest place is your home, wear your mask when you are in public, and wash those hands as if you are washing them sins off.


P.S.: Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E

Comments

Popular Posts

Baa baa Black Sheep

‘Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full One for the master, One for the dame, One for the little boy who lives down the lane.”-Baa baa Black Sheep, Nursery Rhyme Oh how I loved nursery school! Learning was so much fun and colourful as the teachers taught using music, visuals and lots of play and let’s not forget nap time! Gosh! (I stare into a blank space with so much nostalgia). Hmm, question! Is there more to life than trying to constantly fit into other people’s moulds? Are my imperfections so great that those around are blinded to the planks to the planks in their own eyes? Or maybe I am just not appropriately in the right place? At one point or another, we all have faced identity issues, or have suffered from the ‘I don’t fit in’ syndrome. The worst time is the puberty-adolescent period. As an individual, one tries to live up to expectations from parents, teachers, peers and society at large. During that same period, an ...

My Point of View!

If I could afford one,I would have a shrink,but instead I have my point of view! There are days where I will write long blogs,others,I will keep it short and sweet,but at the end of the day,it is my therapy.But I also do intend to make an impact with this MPV. That's just me! P.S: Always write your own love story. Ciao! Lady E

Single Ladies: The Metrosexual

*Riding on a black horse* (I wish).* Beyoncé  wave* 'Hey single ladies!'. For a lady on a quest, the horse would have been ideal,right? Anyway ,how have y'all been? I hope the lessons that we are going through are helping us build character. (Wifen material). Today we have yet another bachelor under our radar. So we have so far, gone through our potential Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It who has been bachelor; the widower, the divorcee, the foreigner, the boy and last but not least, the single dad. Not so bad ladies. Now bachelor number six is,the metrosexual. Now why should we place such a man on our panel,you ask? Well,he is my personal favourite *wink*. The anatomy of a metrosexual. By definition a metrosexual is an urban man with a disposable income who spends a lot on his appearances. In other words, a guy's guy who is in touch with his inner pink. Now why would a metrosexual be a good candidate for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It? He is not. Most metrosexual men, if not gay, or...

Script My Life: Love By the 10th Date

Finding love shouldn’t be a duty but it should be a journey that you enjoy the ride while you get to it... I don’t remember when was the last time I related to a number of female characters in one movie. I finally watched Lifetime movie ‘Love By the 10th Date’.  The trailer to the movie, written and directed by Nzingha Stewart, enticed me for a good chick flick...about women of colour. The all star cast includes the gorgeous Kelly Rowland, Meagan Good, Keri Hilson and Kellee Smith. We also see Cat Deely, Joshua T Jackson, Andra Fuller and UnReal’s Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman. The story line follows a group of young, successful black friends who work for a high end, digital magazine Nina. The protagonist is Gabrielle Fateful a.k.a Gabby played by Meagan Good. Gabby is a graphic designer at Nina whose love life is an actual struggle. The scene that kickstarts the plot of the movie is when Gabby goes out for dinner with friends and workmates, Margot (Kelly Rowland), Bi...

The Writings On The Wall

Thou shall move onto the next! And then 'If You Leave' by Destiny's Child and Next starts to play. Gosh, 'The Writings on the Wall' remains my favourite Destiny's Child album, ever. The concept of the '10 commandments' of relationships. Brilliant!  Bonjour, mes amies! Comment ça va? Ça va bien!  (Caribbean accent) Your gyal ,  moi , has been experiencing epiphanies. And a few disappointments, but life is too sweet to be upset. Lick your ice cream and have sweet red wine! I travelled through the blogosphere for inspiration for our topic today. Ironically, I also had a discussion with an acquaintance about a similar topic. There's nothing that I love more than people who brag about their intelligence. Oh, my! People pride themselves on their levels of education, often equating it to intelligence. We assess our value based on having degrees, master's degrees, and doctorates. If only those worked in relationships. I think of David Robson's '...