Skip to main content

We Are at the Tip My Friend

Dear beloved, we've come to that point where we are at the tip of the Coca-Cola bottle.


Bonjour mes amis! It seems like déjà-vu writing about friendships yet again. However, some relationships need repeating because we keep making the same mistakes. Remember my previous blog “Fair Weather Friends”? Well chérie, this is the continuation. Like Sierra Tishaj suggested, “If it ain’t growing, it’s gotta go.”

I’m dusting off my Diana Ross records and busting some ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’ moves. Why? Because it’s that time again where I have to say goodbye to people holding me back. Like Ma Nan said in Moonlight, “That thing weighing you down, you got to let it go.” Friends, some of these dynamics I’ve outgrown since high school ha! I thought the telenovela ended in college but the drama kept coming.

Taking inspiration from The Real Lady E’s profound words, “I do have individuals who fit into most of my areas of needs. In turn, they turn to me for their needs. I’m actually a friend in deed.” This is the standard I strive for - reciprocity. My love language is acts of service so I need friends who match my energy. Selfishly, I also want friends taking me to my next level, not stuck on replay in my feelings.

Some folks will forever be your past present like Barrack and Michelle said, “When you’re too busy holding on to what’s gone, you lose sight of what’s still here.” I’m learning that my childhood bestie doesn’t have to be who she was before baby, before marriage. We evolve and that’s okay. Sometimes that person is now meant to mirror who we used to be so we appreciate how far we’ve come. Like in Girlfriends, remember Joan’s breakdown when Toni moved? We all need that one person to remind us where we started so we never lose touch with ourselves.

I also came to terms that my college clique wasn’t forever, that season ended. While I still love those ladies, our paths have forked. Hola new chapter! Hello making space for new soulmates who pour into my vision. I’m claiming that growth mindset where I learn from new people unlike Amanda said in Paper Towns “People aren't either bad or good. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things sliced and mixed together in a person.”

The moral of the story amiga? Know when to say sayonara to the berries in your chef salad ruining your flavour. This doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate those relationships or wishing ill on past season friends. It simply means choosing yourself and evolving into your fullest potential. Now go shake the haters off with your best Diana Ross and own your space and season fully! Ciao for now.


In my last blog 'Fair Weather Friends', I discussed the importance of understanding the seasons of friendships. We've understood that different friends come into our lives during certain seasons to play varying roles. However, we've arrived at a crossroads where some seasons are ending and new ones are beginning. As Lady E wisely said, "Friendships are like a Coca-Cola bottle, as you grow older you know that you will eventually be at the tip."

Some of our childhood, high school or college friendships still linger like the ghosts of our past. Like the Pretty Little Liars clique, we try to hold onto relationships that no longer serve us. For some of us, loyalty clouds our vision from recognizing when friendships have run their course. While sentiment blurs the truth - that people grow apart. We fail to see when friends become shadows of who we once were together rather than mirrors of who we are becoming.

Does this sound familiar mis amores? We cling onto friendships forged through hard times because trauma bonded us. But we forget that different seasons require different relations. Friends who supported our 'rough patches' may not encourage our evolution. Much like Issa and Molly in Insecure, sometimes we drift from friends as we drift into new chapters of our lives. As Joan and Toni demonstrated in Girlfriends, physical distances don't always equate emotional distances - true friends let each other spread their wings.

La vérité, some friends linger like guessu in our lives weighing us down. We tolerate dynamics that stunt our progress because change is scarier than convenience. But why settle for the familiar when we were born to spread our colors brightly? Life offers new hues if we allow old canvases to fade gracefully into lessons of the past. Every sunset makes way for a dawn of new possibilities.

Mes cheris, the time has come to bid adieu to relationships keeping us tethered to who we've been rather than empowering who we are becoming. Un-entangle yourself from ties that tighten at the thought of your evolution. Have courage to embrace the uncertainty of transforming friendships. For inside each ending lies the promise of new beginnings. Our seasons may change mis amigos, but growing remains the only constant. When the bottle tips, let your old leaves blow free as branches because only roots remain forever.

C'est la vie, et c'est l'amour! Now who's ready to spread their wings into brighter skies? The future awaits, let us fly together but proudly apart when our paths diverge. Bonne chance et bon courage!


 

Comments

Popular Posts

Baa baa Black Sheep

‘Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full One for the master, One for the dame, One for the little boy who lives down the lane.”-Baa baa Black Sheep, Nursery Rhyme Oh how I loved nursery school! Learning was so much fun and colourful as the teachers taught using music, visuals and lots of play and let’s not forget nap time! Gosh! (I stare into a blank space with so much nostalgia). Hmm, question! Is there more to life than trying to constantly fit into other people’s moulds? Are my imperfections so great that those around are blinded to the planks to the planks in their own eyes? Or maybe I am just not appropriately in the right place? At one point or another, we all have faced identity issues, or have suffered from the ‘I don’t fit in’ syndrome. The worst time is the puberty-adolescent period. As an individual, one tries to live up to expectations from parents, teachers, peers and society at large. During that same period, an ...

The Writings On The Wall

Thou shall move onto the next! And then 'If You Leave' by Destiny's Child and Next starts to play. Gosh, 'The Writings on the Wall' remains my favourite Destiny's Child album, ever. The concept of the '10 commandments' of relationships. Brilliant!  Bonjour, mes amies! Comment ça va? Ça va bien!  (Caribbean accent) Your gyal ,  moi , has been experiencing epiphanies. And a few disappointments, but life is too sweet to be upset. Lick your ice cream and have sweet red wine! I travelled through the blogosphere for inspiration for our topic today. Ironically, I also had a discussion with an acquaintance about a similar topic. There's nothing that I love more than people who brag about their intelligence. Oh, my! People pride themselves on their levels of education, often equating it to intelligence. We assess our value based on having degrees, master's degrees, and doctorates. If only those worked in relationships. I think of David Robson's '...

Ask Me, Not Them!

Getting to know someone is an intentional action that requires up-close and personal interaction! Interact tete-a-tete ! Bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? Je suis comme çi, comme ça! So, I've been getting my domestication on. Cooking. Cleaning. Laundry. Sewing on buttons and seams. God, I love the scent of bleached floor tiles, and an aerosol with a good fragrance. Non-allergic though. Gather around ladies, bring your wine glasses with you. Sidenote, I need to action adding more bin bags and cushions for our conversations. So, I'm not sure what wavelength that I'm currently particularly on, but I've been told that of late that I'm slightly intense in our conversations. C'mon, moi , a whole me (Yvonne Orji voice), intense? Laughs. Don't worry, the fermented grapes will mellow my demeanour. You do know that this  becoming  journey is serious business. It's a literal self therapy process that includes introspect, lots of unpacking and unlearning. It...

Single Ladies: Good Enough

‘I just want you to look at me, to see if I can be worth your love, I just want you to look at me and see that I can be, good enough…’-Good Enough, Jussie Smollett, Empire season 1 Good song I must say, very soulful, lyrically profound and of course produced by one of the best producers of our time and a favourite of mine, Timbaland. So what does this song have to do with the single ladies series especially looking at the context of the song from the FOX hit series? Well, before I begin, I wave to greet all my fellow single ladies who have been following my trail of thought as well as the journey of a single woman to get one of the most important and at times fulfilling parts of humanity-a committed relationship sealed by the institution called ‘marriage’. Don’t even look at me like that; yes this subject is very much in mind and considering how it often pops up in most of my conversations with both single women-and men. Well, being an individual who has experienced a very rough ...

My Point of View!

If I could afford one,I would have a shrink,but instead I have my point of view! There are days where I will write long blogs,others,I will keep it short and sweet,but at the end of the day,it is my therapy.But I also do intend to make an impact with this MPV. That's just me! P.S: Always write your own love story. Ciao! Lady E