Skip to main content

We Are at the Tip My Friend

Dear beloved, we've come to that point where we are at the tip of the Coca-Cola bottle.


Bonjour mes amis! It seems like déjà-vu writing about friendships yet again. However, some relationships need repeating because we keep making the same mistakes. Remember my previous blog “Fair Weather Friends”? Well chérie, this is the continuation. Like Sierra Tishaj suggested, “If it ain’t growing, it’s gotta go.”

I’m dusting off my Diana Ross records and busting some ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’ moves. Why? Because it’s that time again where I have to say goodbye to people holding me back. Like Ma Nan said in Moonlight, “That thing weighing you down, you got to let it go.” Friends, some of these dynamics I’ve outgrown since high school ha! I thought the telenovela ended in college but the drama kept coming.

Taking inspiration from The Real Lady E’s profound words, “I do have individuals who fit into most of my areas of needs. In turn, they turn to me for their needs. I’m actually a friend in deed.” This is the standard I strive for - reciprocity. My love language is acts of service so I need friends who match my energy. Selfishly, I also want friends taking me to my next level, not stuck on replay in my feelings.

Some folks will forever be your past present like Barrack and Michelle said, “When you’re too busy holding on to what’s gone, you lose sight of what’s still here.” I’m learning that my childhood bestie doesn’t have to be who she was before baby, before marriage. We evolve and that’s okay. Sometimes that person is now meant to mirror who we used to be so we appreciate how far we’ve come. Like in Girlfriends, remember Joan’s breakdown when Toni moved? We all need that one person to remind us where we started so we never lose touch with ourselves.

I also came to terms that my college clique wasn’t forever, that season ended. While I still love those ladies, our paths have forked. Hola new chapter! Hello making space for new soulmates who pour into my vision. I’m claiming that growth mindset where I learn from new people unlike Amanda said in Paper Towns “People aren't either bad or good. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things sliced and mixed together in a person.”

The moral of the story amiga? Know when to say sayonara to the berries in your chef salad ruining your flavour. This doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate those relationships or wishing ill on past season friends. It simply means choosing yourself and evolving into your fullest potential. Now go shake the haters off with your best Diana Ross and own your space and season fully! Ciao for now.


In my last blog 'Fair Weather Friends', I discussed the importance of understanding the seasons of friendships. We've understood that different friends come into our lives during certain seasons to play varying roles. However, we've arrived at a crossroads where some seasons are ending and new ones are beginning. As Lady E wisely said, "Friendships are like a Coca-Cola bottle, as you grow older you know that you will eventually be at the tip."

Some of our childhood, high school or college friendships still linger like the ghosts of our past. Like the Pretty Little Liars clique, we try to hold onto relationships that no longer serve us. For some of us, loyalty clouds our vision from recognizing when friendships have run their course. While sentiment blurs the truth - that people grow apart. We fail to see when friends become shadows of who we once were together rather than mirrors of who we are becoming.

Does this sound familiar mis amores? We cling onto friendships forged through hard times because trauma bonded us. But we forget that different seasons require different relations. Friends who supported our 'rough patches' may not encourage our evolution. Much like Issa and Molly in Insecure, sometimes we drift from friends as we drift into new chapters of our lives. As Joan and Toni demonstrated in Girlfriends, physical distances don't always equate emotional distances - true friends let each other spread their wings.

La vérité, some friends linger like guessu in our lives weighing us down. We tolerate dynamics that stunt our progress because change is scarier than convenience. But why settle for the familiar when we were born to spread our colors brightly? Life offers new hues if we allow old canvases to fade gracefully into lessons of the past. Every sunset makes way for a dawn of new possibilities.

Mes cheris, the time has come to bid adieu to relationships keeping us tethered to who we've been rather than empowering who we are becoming. Un-entangle yourself from ties that tighten at the thought of your evolution. Have courage to embrace the uncertainty of transforming friendships. For inside each ending lies the promise of new beginnings. Our seasons may change mis amigos, but growing remains the only constant. When the bottle tips, let your old leaves blow free as branches because only roots remain forever.

C'est la vie, et c'est l'amour! Now who's ready to spread their wings into brighter skies? The future awaits, let us fly together but proudly apart when our paths diverge. Bonne chance et bon courage!


 

Comments

Popular Posts

When The Door Shuts But There's No Closure

Let this be the last time that I am stupid in love! To quote Bob Marley, 'The biggest coward of a man, is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her.' No intentions are still intentions and usually cruel intentions. I'm a bitter woman. I'm mad as hell. How did I let that ugly mother****er make me look stupid? Little did I know that I was just setting myself up to feeling dumb and dumber. I'm a clown! So I took the step and reached out to him to get closure. I needed to gather my thoughts and emotions so that I could speak to him calmly. Parce que IRL, I'm on that Lemonade Beyoncé woman scorned level. The initial call that I made, he blew me off. So I took defeat. However, he called back an hour later and the conversation came. My biggest question was 'Why?'. Why pursue me when you already had someone else whom you wanted to give what I myself wanted. Marriage! What was your intention and outcome from all this? I reiterate that I...

It's Your Own Race, Stay In Your Lane

You might miss out on enjoying what's around you because you're rushing to the infinite finish line! I'm exhausted at this moment! Some days I kick myself for having missed opportunities due to pride or naïvety. At times I suffer from FOMO like the rest of our generation as I scroll down my Instagram timeline. I think my LinkedIn makes me feel worse, as I fall short on qualifications. But as I write this, I know that I'm not where I used to be. I worked damn hard - walking, getting sunburnt, looking disheveled, sleepless nights, and no social life. I'm nowhere near halfway to where I really want to be, but the pandemic has taught me to 'count it all joy.' So why do I continuously feel the pressure 'to be'? Tu ne comprends pas la question? It seems that everywhere I go, people are suffering from the “hustle culture” pandemic. By hustle culture, I mean the collective urge we currently seem to feel as a society to work harder, stronger, faster.(Then Daf...

Dirty Laundry Diaries: Last Friday Night...

Last Friday Night... After a long hiatus from this blog, I've decided to make my return but this time with a vengeance...lol! So as part of my comeback, my blog has changed slightly a bit, same girl but different ish! (The vocabulary has become very colorful!) So my weekend was too cold to freeze a.k.a chilled for my liking but I managed to get the amount of rest that my weary body deserved. So what happened last Friday night, other than playing the third wheel with my sister and her man? Nothing much! But in line with the title of today's blog, I'll share what happened the last Friday of the last. These days I have ditched friends and have gone all family and that is how I roll. So my best friend who happens to be my younger sister, went out for our Friday drinks at our favourite spot in town. (Totally love the ambiance and the deejays are quite cute-one being hotter than the other and they play an amazing set of deep house music). Before I go on, t...

Like A Love Song

The best ever written love song isn't perfect but it works! 'I,I love you like a love song baby,I,I love you like a love song,babe.....',young Selena Gomez singing,and vocalising what we would all take love as...a LOVE song. The love song. Women can only dream about being loved the way Gerald Levert put it,'made to love you', or have 'this love' a la Donell Jones. And I'm not talking about the exaggerated 'catching of grenades','crossing oceans',drinking of lovers' bath waters.But a love that leaves one gasping for air as they try to breathe in,a love that gives one warm fuzzy feelings inside.A love that also stands the test of time,and conquers all. But is the impression we are given by love songs similar to real relationships?Would a man not want to be 'mad' like Ne-yo, or beg you to 'stay' like Tyrese? Some may agree,whilst others would be at the other end of the pole. In the mean time men might find Beyonc...

The X-Factor

MPV.....my point of view! Trends:Talent Shows Ever watched a tv show,only to feel completely useless after that.Look at it this way,an 8 year old belts out ''i will always love you",or a 14 year old who can play seven musical instruments at one goal,or the plus size woman who can dance to any musical genre and does better splits than a cheerleader.Seriously??? I think that one of the most fascin ating reality tv shows are the talent shows.Something's Got Talent,So You Think You Can Dance?,The Clash of The Choirs and The X-Factor,amongst other programmes.YEP.this world has got some talented people and it kind of sucks if you do not have even a centimetre of that talent. I think the worst thing about these shows are the judges.Simon Cowell anyone?The meanest judge in tv history.I always wait to hear what Simon says about the individual auditioning before I comment on how talented that individual is.But yeas if an individual is good,they are really good.I was happy when S...