Skip to main content

We Are at the Tip My Friend

Dear beloved, we've come to that point where we are at the tip of the Coca-Cola bottle.


Bonjour mes amis! It seems like déjà-vu writing about friendships yet again. However, some relationships need repeating because we keep making the same mistakes. Remember my previous blog “Fair Weather Friends”? Well chérie, this is the continuation. Like Sierra Tishaj suggested, “If it ain’t growing, it’s gotta go.”

I’m dusting off my Diana Ross records and busting some ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’ moves. Why? Because it’s that time again where I have to say goodbye to people holding me back. Like Ma Nan said in Moonlight, “That thing weighing you down, you got to let it go.” Friends, some of these dynamics I’ve outgrown since high school ha! I thought the telenovela ended in college but the drama kept coming.

Taking inspiration from The Real Lady E’s profound words, “I do have individuals who fit into most of my areas of needs. In turn, they turn to me for their needs. I’m actually a friend in deed.” This is the standard I strive for - reciprocity. My love language is acts of service so I need friends who match my energy. Selfishly, I also want friends taking me to my next level, not stuck on replay in my feelings.

Some folks will forever be your past present like Barrack and Michelle said, “When you’re too busy holding on to what’s gone, you lose sight of what’s still here.” I’m learning that my childhood bestie doesn’t have to be who she was before baby, before marriage. We evolve and that’s okay. Sometimes that person is now meant to mirror who we used to be so we appreciate how far we’ve come. Like in Girlfriends, remember Joan’s breakdown when Toni moved? We all need that one person to remind us where we started so we never lose touch with ourselves.

I also came to terms that my college clique wasn’t forever, that season ended. While I still love those ladies, our paths have forked. Hola new chapter! Hello making space for new soulmates who pour into my vision. I’m claiming that growth mindset where I learn from new people unlike Amanda said in Paper Towns “People aren't either bad or good. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things sliced and mixed together in a person.”

The moral of the story amiga? Know when to say sayonara to the berries in your chef salad ruining your flavour. This doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate those relationships or wishing ill on past season friends. It simply means choosing yourself and evolving into your fullest potential. Now go shake the haters off with your best Diana Ross and own your space and season fully! Ciao for now.


In my last blog 'Fair Weather Friends', I discussed the importance of understanding the seasons of friendships. We've understood that different friends come into our lives during certain seasons to play varying roles. However, we've arrived at a crossroads where some seasons are ending and new ones are beginning. As Lady E wisely said, "Friendships are like a Coca-Cola bottle, as you grow older you know that you will eventually be at the tip."

Some of our childhood, high school or college friendships still linger like the ghosts of our past. Like the Pretty Little Liars clique, we try to hold onto relationships that no longer serve us. For some of us, loyalty clouds our vision from recognizing when friendships have run their course. While sentiment blurs the truth - that people grow apart. We fail to see when friends become shadows of who we once were together rather than mirrors of who we are becoming.

Does this sound familiar mis amores? We cling onto friendships forged through hard times because trauma bonded us. But we forget that different seasons require different relations. Friends who supported our 'rough patches' may not encourage our evolution. Much like Issa and Molly in Insecure, sometimes we drift from friends as we drift into new chapters of our lives. As Joan and Toni demonstrated in Girlfriends, physical distances don't always equate emotional distances - true friends let each other spread their wings.

La vérité, some friends linger like guessu in our lives weighing us down. We tolerate dynamics that stunt our progress because change is scarier than convenience. But why settle for the familiar when we were born to spread our colors brightly? Life offers new hues if we allow old canvases to fade gracefully into lessons of the past. Every sunset makes way for a dawn of new possibilities.

Mes cheris, the time has come to bid adieu to relationships keeping us tethered to who we've been rather than empowering who we are becoming. Un-entangle yourself from ties that tighten at the thought of your evolution. Have courage to embrace the uncertainty of transforming friendships. For inside each ending lies the promise of new beginnings. Our seasons may change mis amigos, but growing remains the only constant. When the bottle tips, let your old leaves blow free as branches because only roots remain forever.

C'est la vie, et c'est l'amour! Now who's ready to spread their wings into brighter skies? The future awaits, let us fly together but proudly apart when our paths diverge. Bonne chance et bon courage!


 

Comments

Popular Posts

Single ladies: Wife material

MPV.....my point of view! Single Ladies: Wifen Material *Royal wave*Hey single ladies,your guide is back.The pursuit for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It is on.Today I would like to make you a get-a-ring-on-it lady. Now following my articles,'Single Ladies Part 3',where I talked about the prince searching for a 'real princess',or 'Queen';and 'Brown Sugar',where the word 'brown sugar' was defined as wifen material,I would like to talk about 'wifey material'.(Whether we are that). How do we single ladies get that ring-on-it,you ask?By being wifey material.My uncle keeps on telling me,'If you want to become Mrs X,you should be a wife.You are a wife before he puts a ring on it'.What he means is that,a man will treat you the way you portray yourself.How,you ask? Ever noticed the difference between a wife and a girlfriend.Now let me break it down for you.A girlfriend usually,takes life in a more leisurely way;unlike a wife,whose focus is mo...

Script My Life: Love By the 10th Date

Finding love shouldn’t be a duty but it should be a journey that you enjoy the ride while you get to it... I don’t remember when was the last time I related to a number of female characters in one movie. I finally watched Lifetime movie ‘Love By the 10th Date’.  The trailer to the movie, written and directed by Nzingha Stewart, enticed me for a good chick flick...about women of colour. The all star cast includes the gorgeous Kelly Rowland, Meagan Good, Keri Hilson and Kellee Smith. We also see Cat Deely, Joshua T Jackson, Andra Fuller and UnReal’s Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman. The story line follows a group of young, successful black friends who work for a high end, digital magazine Nina. The protagonist is Gabrielle Fateful a.k.a Gabby played by Meagan Good. Gabby is a graphic designer at Nina whose love life is an actual struggle. The scene that kickstarts the plot of the movie is when Gabby goes out for dinner with friends and workmates, Margot (Kelly Rowland), Bi...

Single Ladies: Thank You, Next!

I just had the most vivid dream about my high school crush ! I think I love him! But that's a conversation for another day. Hey single ladies, (Beyoncé wave)! How are you beautiful goddesses? I am fine thank you. The journey is so exciting and evolutionary. To imagine where we started from six years ago to date, the amount of internal change and personal growth. Like you, I'm still single, but I'm now single with a purpose. And I can safely say that I am ready for Mr Put-a-ring-on-it, and the whole shebang - flaws and all. Even my brother's girlfriend affirmed that I am a mature woman ready to settle down. But it's not the narrative for all the single ladies and that's okay! My older sister and I always have these conversations about personal growth and self love. She is a wellness and mental health consultant with a background in psychiatry. I am a work in progress with a nursing background, psychology and psychiatry included. I also use my personal e...

Script My Life: Marry Me

If you want something different, you have to do something different! Woo, Jennifer Lopez really grated the cheese on this rom-com but I love it! Yes, this Valentines day, J Lo reminds us of all our fantasies of what really love should be. Jenny has always been a girl who loves love. So art somewhat imitates life. Following her reunion with former fiancé, Ben Affleck, we are definitely seeing Jenny from the Block 2.0. Who knew that getting back together with 'the one that got away' two decades later would revive romantically in J lo? We all know that Jennifer loves to be booed up. She's been married three times, engaged five or six (I've lost count). I believe relationship experts would consider her a love addict. But that's none of our business! Just in time for Valentines day, a romantic comedy simply titled, "Marry Me". The stars Jennifer Lopez, Owen Wilson, Maluma, John Bradley, Sarah Silverman, and Chloe Coleman. The movie opens with the title trac...

The Writings On The Wall

Thou shall move onto the next! And then 'If You Leave' by Destiny's Child and Next starts to play. Gosh, 'The Writings on the Wall' remains my favourite Destiny's Child album, ever. The concept of the '10 commandments' of relationships. Brilliant!  Bonjour, mes amies! Comment ça va? Ça va bien!  (Caribbean accent) Your gyal ,  moi , has been experiencing epiphanies. And a few disappointments, but life is too sweet to be upset. Lick your ice cream and have sweet red wine! I travelled through the blogosphere for inspiration for our topic today. Ironically, I also had a discussion with an acquaintance about a similar topic. There's nothing that I love more than people who brag about their intelligence. Oh, my! People pride themselves on their levels of education, often equating it to intelligence. We assess our value based on having degrees, master's degrees, and doctorates. If only those worked in relationships. I think of David Robson's '...