Skip to main content

We Are at the Tip My Friend

Dear beloved, we've come to that point where we are at the tip of the Coca-Cola bottle.


Bonjour mes amis! It seems like déjà-vu writing about friendships yet again. However, some relationships need repeating because we keep making the same mistakes. Remember my previous blog “Fair Weather Friends”? Well chérie, this is the continuation. Like Sierra Tishaj suggested, “If it ain’t growing, it’s gotta go.”

I’m dusting off my Diana Ross records and busting some ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’ moves. Why? Because it’s that time again where I have to say goodbye to people holding me back. Like Ma Nan said in Moonlight, “That thing weighing you down, you got to let it go.” Friends, some of these dynamics I’ve outgrown since high school ha! I thought the telenovela ended in college but the drama kept coming.

Taking inspiration from The Real Lady E’s profound words, “I do have individuals who fit into most of my areas of needs. In turn, they turn to me for their needs. I’m actually a friend in deed.” This is the standard I strive for - reciprocity. My love language is acts of service so I need friends who match my energy. Selfishly, I also want friends taking me to my next level, not stuck on replay in my feelings.

Some folks will forever be your past present like Barrack and Michelle said, “When you’re too busy holding on to what’s gone, you lose sight of what’s still here.” I’m learning that my childhood bestie doesn’t have to be who she was before baby, before marriage. We evolve and that’s okay. Sometimes that person is now meant to mirror who we used to be so we appreciate how far we’ve come. Like in Girlfriends, remember Joan’s breakdown when Toni moved? We all need that one person to remind us where we started so we never lose touch with ourselves.

I also came to terms that my college clique wasn’t forever, that season ended. While I still love those ladies, our paths have forked. Hola new chapter! Hello making space for new soulmates who pour into my vision. I’m claiming that growth mindset where I learn from new people unlike Amanda said in Paper Towns “People aren't either bad or good. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things sliced and mixed together in a person.”

The moral of the story amiga? Know when to say sayonara to the berries in your chef salad ruining your flavour. This doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate those relationships or wishing ill on past season friends. It simply means choosing yourself and evolving into your fullest potential. Now go shake the haters off with your best Diana Ross and own your space and season fully! Ciao for now.


In my last blog 'Fair Weather Friends', I discussed the importance of understanding the seasons of friendships. We've understood that different friends come into our lives during certain seasons to play varying roles. However, we've arrived at a crossroads where some seasons are ending and new ones are beginning. As Lady E wisely said, "Friendships are like a Coca-Cola bottle, as you grow older you know that you will eventually be at the tip."

Some of our childhood, high school or college friendships still linger like the ghosts of our past. Like the Pretty Little Liars clique, we try to hold onto relationships that no longer serve us. For some of us, loyalty clouds our vision from recognizing when friendships have run their course. While sentiment blurs the truth - that people grow apart. We fail to see when friends become shadows of who we once were together rather than mirrors of who we are becoming.

Does this sound familiar mis amores? We cling onto friendships forged through hard times because trauma bonded us. But we forget that different seasons require different relations. Friends who supported our 'rough patches' may not encourage our evolution. Much like Issa and Molly in Insecure, sometimes we drift from friends as we drift into new chapters of our lives. As Joan and Toni demonstrated in Girlfriends, physical distances don't always equate emotional distances - true friends let each other spread their wings.

La vérité, some friends linger like guessu in our lives weighing us down. We tolerate dynamics that stunt our progress because change is scarier than convenience. But why settle for the familiar when we were born to spread our colors brightly? Life offers new hues if we allow old canvases to fade gracefully into lessons of the past. Every sunset makes way for a dawn of new possibilities.

Mes cheris, the time has come to bid adieu to relationships keeping us tethered to who we've been rather than empowering who we are becoming. Un-entangle yourself from ties that tighten at the thought of your evolution. Have courage to embrace the uncertainty of transforming friendships. For inside each ending lies the promise of new beginnings. Our seasons may change mis amigos, but growing remains the only constant. When the bottle tips, let your old leaves blow free as branches because only roots remain forever.

C'est la vie, et c'est l'amour! Now who's ready to spread their wings into brighter skies? The future awaits, let us fly together but proudly apart when our paths diverge. Bonne chance et bon courage!


 

Comments

Popular Posts

I'm Ready

Por qué me siento así, mi amor? Lo podemos culpar a Cupido!   Bring on the tissues, and a tub of ice cream, and Amarula cream. Cupid really picked on me and not at the best time. And then 'Stupid Cupid' starts playing. Bonjour single ladies! Forgive me for the dramatic entrance, but I feel like a hopelessly enamoured teenager. Remember  le garçon du chocolat ? Oui. Well, what started off as a crush, has developed into more. Could I be in-love? Umm... But I think that the sparks have fizzled out on his end. Throwing myself on the couch.  Why am I this person, though? Am I setting myself up for possibly another heartbreak after recovering from a not so recent one? Like, le garçon du chocolat lives rent free in my mind, and mostly in my dreams. Am I supposed to feel like this actually? Gosh, I feel so embarrassed with my grown self.   So while, I'm manoeuvring through my emotions, let's talk about starting all over again with a renewed perspective. Gather around ladies,...

Self Care:10 Ways to Be Good to Yourself

Taking care of oneself shouldn't be a hash tag or social media trend. Self care is a key component of self love which is an actual journey. Self care isn't achieved overnight but with time and patience, one can reach the point of bliss. We all need peace of mind, good health and productivity. Yet most of us find very little time for 'self.' We are either coerced into guilt by equating 'self-care' to selfishness, or that it's counterproductive. In an article by Hannah Ritchie and Max Roser on the global mental health, it was estimated that 970 million people worldwide had a mental or substance use disorder in 2017. Of that population, 3.4% suffered from depression while 3.8% had anxiety disorders. 107 million people were reported to have alcohol use disorders. We are living in a stressed world and few know the right coping mechanisms. We are mostly triggered by the economy, politics, work, finances and relationships. Apart from mental health disorde...

Script My Life: Mulan

Never despise chasing a chicken on top of rooftops! Oh my, I felt like a fortune cookie right there. I'm never the one to jump onto trends. I proudly stand as the few who aren't phased by FOMO. However for the 2020 adaptation of Mulan, I had to be on point with my movie watching. Between watching the trailer and a few expectations, I wasn't sure about my reaction. I'm a staunch Disney classics fan. I am one of those ladies who grew up on the  Disney princess  trope. I love Belle, Jasmine and Tiana, although Tiana was a frog ¾ of the film. The strong willed female with a free spirit is my spirit animal. Belle read books, Jasmine wanted to see the world and Tiana was a businesswoman. Hmm, sounds like someone we know. Wink! Disney decided to offer CGI, live action versions of all the animations that most of us millennials grew up on. To be honest, I hate most their reimagined versions especially 'The Lion King'. It was so bad, I didn't watch it twice. I really ...

How I Met Your Father

Always write your own love story... So here I am painting my story on a canvas. Today I decided to do something slightly different. While I binge-watched the entire first season of "How I Met Your Father," something dawned on me. As a fan of the original "How I Met Your Mother," I was curious if the spin-off would match up. The series stars Hilary Duff, Christopher Lowell, Francia Raisa, Suraj Sharma, Tom Ainsley, Tien Tran, and Kim Cattrall. Cattrall plays the 2050 version of the protagonist and narrator, Sophie. She recounts to her unseen son the events that followed meeting his father in January 2022 and how they ultimately had him. Fans are shown Sophie, played by Hillary Duff, and her group of friends in New York City's Manhattan. The 10-episode series shows how these 20- and 30-somethings maneuver through their disastrous dating lives, assumedly post-pandemic. Here I am, using my imagination to create universe versions of "how I met your father."...

Script My Life: Bad Hair

My relationship with hair extensions will never be the same! It's spooky season and what a time for all things that make your stomach churn, and eyes pop! For most of this series, I review romantic comedies and dramas. The big screen allows me to live vicariously through stories and characters. I can escape my mundane life and all the imperfections in between. I can be anything that I want, through whichever character that I relate to. Funny enough I love horror and thrillers! I love the adrenalin rush of frightening encounters with the paranormal, or mentally unhinged. Most horrors or thrillers often follow a generic pattern, however there those that take the cup for scares. I will never watch 'The Exorcist' and 'The Nun' again! Apart from being scary, I am not playing with all that supernatural stuff. And here we are, watching Hulu's new flick, 'Bad Hair'. Ever since the trailer, I have been religiously following the interviews. In one interview, the f...