Skip to main content

Fairweather Friends

Learn to understand the position of people in your seasons.


Some people are not meant for the summers and springs of your life because they weren't there through the winter. 

Bonjour mes amis, comment allez-vous vous? I need a whole bottle of wine. Gather around. Tjo! Where do I even begin? Y'all know that I don't like to make this space a pity party venue, but every once in a while, your girl is blue. This has been a rough season.

I'm unemployed, and broke. I'm in severe debt. And I can't even find at least one individual in my contacts list who can reliably help me out. I'm not a beggar. I have always worked hard, and prefer to do my own things - especially financially. So yes, I'm in the trenches. Actually, I asked for a job from an old colleague, and they blue ticked me. My nephew blocked me when I asked for help - help for leads to jobs because he's well connected, as well as financial assistance. I do comprehend that things are challenging for everyone, so I have minimal expectations. I would expect that someone whom I'm related to, and claims to be close to, would at least offer feedback, or simply check up on me. 

So there was an acquaintance whom I had spent a lot of time with. In the midst of this drought season, he's helped me 'relax', and try to keep a positive attitude. Instead of talking about my problems, he and I would discuss other topics such as sports, pop culture, and even our shared guilty pleasure, 'Wildin' Out'. Here, and there, he would help with job leads. Bless his heart! Well, this acquaintance flipped the script on me, and began giving me attitude. As far as I've been concerned, I've done nothing to offend him. But, the thickness of his resentment towards me thickly fits the room. Initially I assumed that he had been overworked, and tired, but I then noticed a pattern. And as in the words of Nina Simone,"Know whe  to leave the table when it no longer serves you." Deuces!

Now, I'm a Cancer with Scorpio energy. If you know, you know. But in this season where I'm unlearning holding onto individuals through grudges, yet they don't benefit my life spiritually. I've decided to avoid projecting their energy. Instead, I'm looking at the writings on the wall. Remember what I previously said, learn to read in between the lines, read rooms, and read people. And that's what I'm doing at this moment.

I am realising different people be it friends, or even relatives, come into our lives during certain seasons to play varying roles. However, we've arrived at a crossroads where some seasons are ending and new ones are beginning. I am also learning that it is during your winter seasons, that you see people's true colours. At least they cut the numbers on your wedding guest list. 

Even the Bible states in Psalms 33 verse 5 that,"Weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning." The big question is, who will you wake up with in the morning? Who are the people whom you will be celebrating with having passed through the really tough, long winter nights? 

I know that this rough season will come to an end. Something will come through, and I will pick myself up. As always! I am also learning to continuously thank those who have been my destiny helpers in this season. At times even if the need is big, checking in on someone helps. Taking them out for a simple ice-cream cone changes their life. Mental health is important. Sometimes lending an ear, or company can prevent a person from taking dire measures to end their pain, or life challenges.

I won't tell you how to handle those who ignore you or mistreat you during your winter season. All I can say is, know your people, and your people is you. 

Know your people, and your people is you. 

Remember, not everyone will be with you through the winter. Remember them.

Those meant for the spring or summer of your life will be with you all the way. Remember them.

A prochaine fois...

...keep praying, this too shall pass.

P.S. Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E



Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Single ladies: Wife material

MPV.....my point of view! Single Ladies: Wifen Material *Royal wave*Hey single ladies,your guide is back.The pursuit for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It is on.Today I would like to make you a get-a-ring-on-it lady. Now following my articles,'Single Ladies Part 3',where I talked about the prince searching for a 'real princess',or 'Queen';and 'Brown Sugar',where the word 'brown sugar' was defined as wifen material,I would like to talk about 'wifey material'.(Whether we are that). How do we single ladies get that ring-on-it,you ask?By being wifey material.My uncle keeps on telling me,'If you want to become Mrs X,you should be a wife.You are a wife before he puts a ring on it'.What he means is that,a man will treat you the way you portray yourself.How,you ask? Ever noticed the difference between a wife and a girlfriend.Now let me break it down for you.A girlfriend usually,takes life in a more leisurely way;unlike a wife,whose focus is mo...
Post a Comment
Read more

Like A Love Song

The best ever written love song isn't perfect but it works! 'I,I love you like a love song baby,I,I love you like a love song,babe.....',young Selena Gomez singing,and vocalising what we would all take love as...a LOVE song. The love song. Women can only dream about being loved the way Gerald Levert put it,'made to love you', or have 'this love' a la Donell Jones. And I'm not talking about the exaggerated 'catching of grenades','crossing oceans',drinking of lovers' bath waters.But a love that leaves one gasping for air as they try to breathe in,a love that gives one warm fuzzy feelings inside.A love that also stands the test of time,and conquers all. But is the impression we are given by love songs similar to real relationships?Would a man not want to be 'mad' like Ne-yo, or beg you to 'stay' like Tyrese? Some may agree,whilst others would be at the other end of the pole. In the mean time men might find Beyonc...
Post a Comment
Read more

I Ain't Got My Shit Together

It's okay that I'm not the ideal because I'm a work in progress! I was listening to Brandy's discography and then I resonated with the lyrics to 'Camouflage'. I love the part when she sings, " And God knows I ain't perfect, Tell me who in the world is, All I know is that I'm searching, For somebody to love me with." Yes, then I recall my many arguments with Sagittarius. Always fighting dirty and hitting below the belt. As I have previously highlighted, I asked of him, to step up and meet me halfway. That's what normal people in a relationship do, right? Attempting reverse psychology on me, he would state that I thought of myself as 'perfect'. Whilst I chastised him, not to be condescending, but to make the relationship 'work', but I was the villain. He would be petty and sulk that he's always wrong with me instead of taking responsibility. Sigh! I wish that he chose to understand that I'm far from perfect. I hav...
Post a Comment
Read more

Before We Lay

“Every father bears a fundamental obligation to do right by their children,” - Barack Obama With the hype and quotes around Michelle Obama’s book, ‘Becoming’, Barack seems to be the ‘ideal man’. Of course he is only human and bound to err, but for purposes of this discussion, his quotes are a point of reference. We live in an age of great access to information whether negative or positive. We are also in a space for more conversation about sexual liberation. In a previous post, I shared about the modern woman owning her sexuality. And I still stand firmly by that stance, because ownership of one’s sexuality also reflects upon other areas of their life. That point was also touched on, when I discussed about celibacy. The point is that we are in charge of what mostly happens in our lives based on our ‘choices’. Part of choice is being responsible and accountable. Responsibility isn’t fun to be honest but it’s necessary especially for maturity. In other parts of our liv...
Post a Comment
Read more

It’s the Little Things

November is the prelude to the year end, so why not count the things to be grateful for... These days my sister will always be blasting Janet Manyowa’s ‘Grateful’ album. It’s remarkable how timely the album is despite our current challenges in the country. While Americans begin the festive season with ‘Thanksgiving’, I decided to also partake in my own small way. The past few weeks have been tumultuous to say the least. But this thanksgiving I decided to appreciate the least yet best of what I have. A friend of mine shared that ‘a lot can happen in a year’. Initially I didn’t believe him because for a long time I circled around the same place the Israelites in the desert for 40 years. But this year, my fortune changed in all aspects of my life. I was challenged to level up, step out and even grow.  A lot has happened in one year to the extent I have forgotten some things. What I have come to appreciate are the people who have been part of my journey. Gosh, tears f...
Post a Comment
Read more