Skip to main content

Fairweather Friends

Learn to understand the position of people in your seasons.


Some people are not meant for the summers and springs of your life because they weren't there through the winter. 

Bonjour mes amis, comment allez-vous vous? I need a whole bottle of wine. Gather around. Tjo! Where do I even begin? Y'all know that I don't like to make this space a pity party venue, but every once in a while, your girl is blue. This has been a rough season.

I'm unemployed, and broke. I'm in severe debt. And I can't even find at least one individual in my contacts list who can reliably help me out. I'm not a beggar. I have always worked hard, and prefer to do my own things - especially financially. So yes, I'm in the trenches. Actually, I asked for a job from an old colleague, and they blue ticked me. My nephew blocked me when I asked for help - help for leads to jobs because he's well connected, as well as financial assistance. I do comprehend that things are challenging for everyone, so I have minimal expectations. I would expect that someone whom I'm related to, and claims to be close to, would at least offer feedback, or simply check up on me. 

So there was an acquaintance whom I had spent a lot of time with. In the midst of this drought season, he's helped me 'relax', and try to keep a positive attitude. Instead of talking about my problems, he and I would discuss other topics such as sports, pop culture, and even our shared guilty pleasure, 'Wildin' Out'. Here, and there, he would help with job leads. Bless his heart! Well, this acquaintance flipped the script on me, and began giving me attitude. As far as I've been concerned, I've done nothing to offend him. But, the thickness of his resentment towards me thickly fits the room. Initially I assumed that he had been overworked, and tired, but I then noticed a pattern. And as in the words of Nina Simone,"Know whe  to leave the table when it no longer serves you." Deuces!

Now, I'm a Cancer with Scorpio energy. If you know, you know. But in this season where I'm unlearning holding onto individuals through grudges, yet they don't benefit my life spiritually. I've decided to avoid projecting their energy. Instead, I'm looking at the writings on the wall. Remember what I previously said, learn to read in between the lines, read rooms, and read people. And that's what I'm doing at this moment.

I am realising different people be it friends, or even relatives, come into our lives during certain seasons to play varying roles. However, we've arrived at a crossroads where some seasons are ending and new ones are beginning. I am also learning that it is during your winter seasons, that you see people's true colours. At least they cut the numbers on your wedding guest list. 

Even the Bible states in Psalms 33 verse 5 that,"Weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning." The big question is, who will you wake up with in the morning? Who are the people whom you will be celebrating with having passed through the really tough, long winter nights? 

I know that this rough season will come to an end. Something will come through, and I will pick myself up. As always! I am also learning to continuously thank those who have been my destiny helpers in this season. At times even if the need is big, checking in on someone helps. Taking them out for a simple ice-cream cone changes their life. Mental health is important. Sometimes lending an ear, or company can prevent a person from taking dire measures to end their pain, or life challenges.

I won't tell you how to handle those who ignore you or mistreat you during your winter season. All I can say is, know your people, and your people is you. 

Know your people, and your people is you. 

Remember, not everyone will be with you through the winter. Remember them.

Those meant for the spring or summer of your life will be with you all the way. Remember them.

A prochaine fois...

...keep praying, this too shall pass.

P.S. Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E



Comments

Popular Posts

We Aren't that Couple!

We are perfectly imperfect! Bonjour mes armies, comment ça va? Je vais trés bien merci!  Bring your glasses of your favourite poison and let's chat. We are drawing close to that time of the year. I wouldn't let us leave this profound year without a few lessons. It's story time.   It's taken time—actually, years—for he and I to come to this place. We haven't always seen eye-to-eye, yet we find ourselves here. It's actually insane! But time does help with self-discovery. For me, the healing process has put things into perspective. I'm not yet there, but I'm becoming her, and he's willing to see me through it.  What I love about he and I is simply the fact that we aren't that couple. You know those who have to constantly update their Gram or WhatsApp status to validate the strength of their union? Before you come for me, it's "cute," and yes, you and your person should declare your affection for each other. I'm just from the sch...

That's Not My Portion

A man  needs to take responsibility of his own healing and growth... We all have different love stories that we are writing. There is no formula of how we fall in love or love. At times we can’t help whom we fall for although we can choose whether or not to love them. For healthy relationships, we look for a partner who brings out the best in us. A person who is patient with our flaws but doesn’t allow us to get away with bullshit behaviour. We demand and give respect to partners who love themselves enough to show how they will be treated and loved. In turn we take notes from Eleanor “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” There is room for growth in visions and maturity in character. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt” If we have an understanding of ‘love’ why is it that we shortchange ourselves? I decided to end a ‘relationship’ because it didn’t look or feel like a ‘relationship’. It was more of me being ...

Auld Lang Syne ... Maybe Not All the Time

Sometimes the end is a new beginning!  It's a new year! To be more precise, the year of our Lord two thousand and twenty-two. According to the Hebrew calendar the year is 5782.  The crossover into 2022 was particularly dull due to the curfew. When we say that the pandemic is a buzzkill, the sentiment is real. As a staunch believer in the saying, "How you leave is how you enter," I often enjoy spending my time in church. The service prior to the countdown often invigorates my faith. Praying and seeding on the first day of the 365 or 366 is comforting. Unfortunately, the authorities ensured that the gathering of the saints wouldn't happen on their watch. We had to sit and watch the livestream from home. As the new year came, I started to think of the song synonymous with the new year. Auld Lang Syne. Based on the 18th century Scottish song, the words read: Should Old Acquaintance be forgot, and never thought upon; The flames of Love extinguished, and fully past a...

How I Met Your Father

Always write your own love story... So here I am painting my story on a canvas. Today I decided to do something slightly different. While I binge-watched the entire first season of "How I Met Your Father," something dawned on me. As a fan of the original "How I Met Your Mother," I was curious if the spin-off would match up. The series stars Hilary Duff, Christopher Lowell, Francia Raisa, Suraj Sharma, Tom Ainsley, Tien Tran, and Kim Cattrall. Cattrall plays the 2050 version of the protagonist and narrator, Sophie. She recounts to her unseen son the events that followed meeting his father in January 2022 and how they ultimately had him. Fans are shown Sophie, played by Hillary Duff, and her group of friends in New York City's Manhattan. The 10-episode series shows how these 20- and 30-somethings maneuver through their disastrous dating lives, assumedly post-pandemic. Here I am, using my imagination to create universe versions of "how I met your father."...

Baa baa Black Sheep

‘Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full One for the master, One for the dame, One for the little boy who lives down the lane.”-Baa baa Black Sheep, Nursery Rhyme Oh how I loved nursery school! Learning was so much fun and colourful as the teachers taught using music, visuals and lots of play and let’s not forget nap time! Gosh! (I stare into a blank space with so much nostalgia). Hmm, question! Is there more to life than trying to constantly fit into other people’s moulds? Are my imperfections so great that those around are blinded to the planks to the planks in their own eyes? Or maybe I am just not appropriately in the right place? At one point or another, we all have faced identity issues, or have suffered from the ‘I don’t fit in’ syndrome. The worst time is the puberty-adolescent period. As an individual, one tries to live up to expectations from parents, teachers, peers and society at large. During that same period, an ...