Skip to main content

Fairweather Friends

Learn to understand the position of people in your seasons.


Some people are not meant for the summers and springs of your life because they weren't there through the winter. 

Bonjour mes amis, comment allez-vous vous? I need a whole bottle of wine. Gather around. Tjo! Where do I even begin? Y'all know that I don't like to make this space a pity party venue, but every once in a while, your girl is blue. This has been a rough season.

I'm unemployed, and broke. I'm in severe debt. And I can't even find at least one individual in my contacts list who can reliably help me out. I'm not a beggar. I have always worked hard, and prefer to do my own things - especially financially. So yes, I'm in the trenches. Actually, I asked for a job from an old colleague, and they blue ticked me. My nephew blocked me when I asked for help - help for leads to jobs because he's well connected, as well as financial assistance. I do comprehend that things are challenging for everyone, so I have minimal expectations. I would expect that someone whom I'm related to, and claims to be close to, would at least offer feedback, or simply check up on me. 

So there was an acquaintance whom I had spent a lot of time with. In the midst of this drought season, he's helped me 'relax', and try to keep a positive attitude. Instead of talking about my problems, he and I would discuss other topics such as sports, pop culture, and even our shared guilty pleasure, 'Wildin' Out'. Here, and there, he would help with job leads. Bless his heart! Well, this acquaintance flipped the script on me, and began giving me attitude. As far as I've been concerned, I've done nothing to offend him. But, the thickness of his resentment towards me thickly fits the room. Initially I assumed that he had been overworked, and tired, but I then noticed a pattern. And as in the words of Nina Simone,"Know whe  to leave the table when it no longer serves you." Deuces!

Now, I'm a Cancer with Scorpio energy. If you know, you know. But in this season where I'm unlearning holding onto individuals through grudges, yet they don't benefit my life spiritually. I've decided to avoid projecting their energy. Instead, I'm looking at the writings on the wall. Remember what I previously said, learn to read in between the lines, read rooms, and read people. And that's what I'm doing at this moment.

I am realising different people be it friends, or even relatives, come into our lives during certain seasons to play varying roles. However, we've arrived at a crossroads where some seasons are ending and new ones are beginning. I am also learning that it is during your winter seasons, that you see people's true colours. At least they cut the numbers on your wedding guest list. 

Even the Bible states in Psalms 33 verse 5 that,"Weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning." The big question is, who will you wake up with in the morning? Who are the people whom you will be celebrating with having passed through the really tough, long winter nights? 

I know that this rough season will come to an end. Something will come through, and I will pick myself up. As always! I am also learning to continuously thank those who have been my destiny helpers in this season. At times even if the need is big, checking in on someone helps. Taking them out for a simple ice-cream cone changes their life. Mental health is important. Sometimes lending an ear, or company can prevent a person from taking dire measures to end their pain, or life challenges.

I won't tell you how to handle those who ignore you or mistreat you during your winter season. All I can say is, know your people, and your people is you. 

Know your people, and your people is you. 

Remember, not everyone will be with you through the winter. Remember them.

Those meant for the spring or summer of your life will be with you all the way. Remember them.

A prochaine fois...

...keep praying, this too shall pass.

P.S. Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E



Comments

Popular Posts

We Aren't that Couple!

We are perfectly imperfect! Bonjour mes armies, comment ça va? Je vais trés bien merci!  Bring your glasses of your favourite poison and let's chat. We are drawing close to that time of the year. I wouldn't let us leave this profound year without a few lessons. It's story time.   It's taken time—actually, years—for he and I to come to this place. We haven't always seen eye-to-eye, yet we find ourselves here. It's actually insane! But time does help with self-discovery. For me, the healing process has put things into perspective. I'm not yet there, but I'm becoming her, and he's willing to see me through it.  What I love about he and I is simply the fact that we aren't that couple. You know those who have to constantly update their Gram or WhatsApp status to validate the strength of their union? Before you come for me, it's "cute," and yes, you and your person should declare your affection for each other. I'm just from the sch...

MTV VMA Review: Missy Elliott, Supa Dupa Fly!

Yaaaas queen! Joy overwhelmed me by just watching Missy Elliott's MTV VMA performance. It's been 16 years since Missy last performed at the VMAs. That year, Missy was joined by Nelly Furtado and Timbaland, as they proved to us what genius looks like. Missy opened her performance with her latest single, "Throw It Back" before throwing fans back to her hits from yesteryear. She performed a medley that included 'The Rain', 'Get Ur Freak On', 'One Minute Man', 'Pass that Dutch' and 'Lose Control'. With each performance the 4-time Grammy winner invoked looks from each music video. She also reunited with dancer, actress and singer, Alyson Stoner, who remains a superb dancer. For those who aren't in the know, Alyson started dancing for Missy when she was a little girl. She became a staple in most of Missy's music videos. In 2015, Alyson paid tribute to the legend with a viral video of Missy's greatest hits. Missy...

Solo

Be the person whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. Porque eres el único cuerpo con el que estás atrapado para siempre ! With that said, it's good to have our feet back on solid ground. I can't wait for the  next trip ! Now ladies, we are dressing up for not just one, but several dates. Through our journey to  becoming , we are all about self-introspection and self-love. We are going on a solo date where we assess if we enjoy our own company, embrace our flaws, and seek to be better versions of ourselves.  Single ladies, bring your A-game with the wardrobe, face, body and most importantly, personality because we are putting our best foot forward. Put on your favourite outfit because we're going on a couple of dates with ourselves! Gentlemen, y'all invited to observe. A nous allez!  Date #1: Restaurant  I'm wearing a midi, nude pink, chiffon dress. I'm pairing the outfit with gold jewellery, and rose gold heels. I made a reservation at my favourite ...

Book Review: The Kings that Didn’t Need This Queen

Until you resolve your brokeness, you will continue to be broken. I am pretty stoked about sharing this month's read. As a writer, reading various forms of literature enriches the craft. Reading builds culture and reinforces application of lessons learnt. I also read books and blogs by fellow writers to support their work through commenting, and sharing. This is how we grow communities you see. Prior to offering a review of this month's book, I would like to share a brief history of the writer. I met this young woman, Nobuhle Nyoni at a birthday, and album listening party for producer and artist, Verseless. She was friendly and bubbly, we even shared a ride into town as we went home. That wouldn't be the last time that I would be in communication with her. Through the magazine that I am editor for, we made effort to push her event. Though I didn't manage to attend the event, I saw the potential of this young woman. In 2017, under the collective called Veryus ,...

But Why Wait?

When you find what you are looking for, why wait?  She finally made it! Congratulations to the now Mrs Jennifer Affleck.  Jenny from the block is officially Mrs. Jennifer Lynn Affleck. It's official, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are married. According to news reports, the couple tied the knot on Saturday, during an "intimate ceremony in Las Vegas." This actually comes as a surprise because nothing is ever small, or intimate with J lo. For as long as we have known the Bronx native, she goes all out. We expected that her wedding would be as extravagant as her 'Marry Me' character.  Clearly she didn't want to jinx her second chance. The Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez a.k.a Bennifer's love story began 20 years ago. The couple initially met in December 2001 on the set of the rom-com "Gigli," where they played criminals stuck on a job together. Not long after that they started dating. By November 2002, the two were engaged, but postponed their weddin...