Skip to main content

Fairweather Friends

Learn to understand the position of people in your seasons.


Some people are not meant for the summers and springs of your life because they weren't there through the winter. 

Bonjour mes amis, comment allez-vous vous? I need a whole bottle of wine. Gather around. Tjo! Where do I even begin? Y'all know that I don't like to make this space a pity party venue, but every once in a while, your girl is blue. This has been a rough season.

I'm unemployed, and broke. I'm in severe debt. And I can't even find at least one individual in my contacts list who can reliably help me out. I'm not a beggar. I have always worked hard, and prefer to do my own things - especially financially. So yes, I'm in the trenches. Actually, I asked for a job from an old colleague, and they blue ticked me. My nephew blocked me when I asked for help - help for leads to jobs because he's well connected, as well as financial assistance. I do comprehend that things are challenging for everyone, so I have minimal expectations. I would expect that someone whom I'm related to, and claims to be close to, would at least offer feedback, or simply check up on me. 

So there was an acquaintance whom I had spent a lot of time with. In the midst of this drought season, he's helped me 'relax', and try to keep a positive attitude. Instead of talking about my problems, he and I would discuss other topics such as sports, pop culture, and even our shared guilty pleasure, 'Wildin' Out'. Here, and there, he would help with job leads. Bless his heart! Well, this acquaintance flipped the script on me, and began giving me attitude. As far as I've been concerned, I've done nothing to offend him. But, the thickness of his resentment towards me thickly fits the room. Initially I assumed that he had been overworked, and tired, but I then noticed a pattern. And as in the words of Nina Simone,"Know whe  to leave the table when it no longer serves you." Deuces!

Now, I'm a Cancer with Scorpio energy. If you know, you know. But in this season where I'm unlearning holding onto individuals through grudges, yet they don't benefit my life spiritually. I've decided to avoid projecting their energy. Instead, I'm looking at the writings on the wall. Remember what I previously said, learn to read in between the lines, read rooms, and read people. And that's what I'm doing at this moment.

I am realising different people be it friends, or even relatives, come into our lives during certain seasons to play varying roles. However, we've arrived at a crossroads where some seasons are ending and new ones are beginning. I am also learning that it is during your winter seasons, that you see people's true colours. At least they cut the numbers on your wedding guest list. 

Even the Bible states in Psalms 33 verse 5 that,"Weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning." The big question is, who will you wake up with in the morning? Who are the people whom you will be celebrating with having passed through the really tough, long winter nights? 

I know that this rough season will come to an end. Something will come through, and I will pick myself up. As always! I am also learning to continuously thank those who have been my destiny helpers in this season. At times even if the need is big, checking in on someone helps. Taking them out for a simple ice-cream cone changes their life. Mental health is important. Sometimes lending an ear, or company can prevent a person from taking dire measures to end their pain, or life challenges.

I won't tell you how to handle those who ignore you or mistreat you during your winter season. All I can say is, know your people, and your people is you. 

Know your people, and your people is you. 

Remember, not everyone will be with you through the winter. Remember them.

Those meant for the spring or summer of your life will be with you all the way. Remember them.

A prochaine fois...

...keep praying, this too shall pass.

P.S. Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E



Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

5 Inexpensive Dates in a Bad Economy

If he's making the economy an excuse, swipe left.... A guy who makes too many excuses whilst pursuing you is not worth your time. He will make excuses for not making time for you. More so, for not taking you on a date. A real man makes a plan...all the time! Yes, the economy is atrocious...a complete nightmare! Does that mean that humanity stops? Y'all,  we have procreation to continue until the end of time. A season of a recession, shouldn't hinder dates, relationships and the whole nine yards that come with that package. Couples over centuries overcame obstacles such as family feuds, classism, racism, tribalism, religious differences etc. They all found a way around those challenges. Any guy who uses 'in this economy' as an excuse is dropped like a pin. Honestly, such an individual lacks ambition and creativity. I want the flowers, chocolate, and the date. Otherwise...skrrr! You will have to show innovation in your pursuit. If you can't be strategic w...
4 comments
Read more

The Slow Burn

Stop trying to control everything and start experiencing the slow burn. Hello, single ladies! Comment ça va mes amies? "Je suis bien!   Gather around; today we are having coffee and tea. I'll get my dose of caffeine as usual. I'm so inspired by the previous article. The inspiration came from the last few paragraphs, where I wrote about the slow burn. I remember the movie, "I Want You Back." The character Emma tells Peter that he's attractive, and she would date him, despite the fact that he is a slow burner. And then Kacey Musgraves' "Slow Burn" starts playing in my head. ("I'm alright with a slow burn"). As I decided to rewrite the scripts for my "love story," the last part challenged me. Do you remember what Kat Valdez said in "Marry Me"? If you want something different, you have to do something different. So, you make a different decision. I thought long and hard about that statement. I believe that I'm ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Pendulum...Time to Stop Swinging!

At that very moment you actually receive that closure that it's finally over... You lay there, with a sigh of  relief because it was good whilst it lasted, but you are glad that it's over. There are certain things that you begin to intuitively feel and understand as you grow older or wiser. You move out of naivety or ideologies of the perfect relationship. You get to a place of realising that some relationships have good parts but don't last. And there are other bad relationships where the only thing that holds you together, is what's in between the sheets. During a conversation with a friend, I asked him for his opinion about a relationship. His view of my 'situation' was that I was like a pendulum. It was a constant back and forth with this guy which in psychology is considered 'toxic'. My friend gave me advice athat I need to respect myself enough to demand stability from a relationship. The guy who comes into my life must anchor himself and...
Post a Comment
Read more

Single ladies: Wife material

MPV.....my point of view! Single Ladies: Wifen Material *Royal wave*Hey single ladies,your guide is back.The pursuit for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It is on.Today I would like to make you a get-a-ring-on-it lady. Now following my articles,'Single Ladies Part 3',where I talked about the prince searching for a 'real princess',or 'Queen';and 'Brown Sugar',where the word 'brown sugar' was defined as wifen material,I would like to talk about 'wifey material'.(Whether we are that). How do we single ladies get that ring-on-it,you ask?By being wifey material.My uncle keeps on telling me,'If you want to become Mrs X,you should be a wife.You are a wife before he puts a ring on it'.What he means is that,a man will treat you the way you portray yourself.How,you ask? Ever noticed the difference between a wife and a girlfriend.Now let me break it down for you.A girlfriend usually,takes life in a more leisurely way;unlike a wife,whose focus is mo...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Writings On The Wall

Thou shall move onto the next! And then 'If You Leave' by Destiny's Child and Next starts to play. Gosh, 'The Writings on the Wall' remains my favourite Destiny's Child album, ever. The concept of the '10 commandments' of relationships. Brilliant!  Bonjour, mes amies! Comment ça va? Ça va bien!  (Caribbean accent) Your gyal ,  moi , has been experiencing epiphanies. And a few disappointments, but life is too sweet to be upset. Lick your ice cream and have sweet red wine! I travelled through the blogosphere for inspiration for our topic today. Ironically, I also had a discussion with an acquaintance about a similar topic. There's nothing that I love more than people who brag about their intelligence. Oh, my! People pride themselves on their levels of education, often equating it to intelligence. We assess our value based on having degrees, master's degrees, and doctorates. If only those worked in relationships. I think of David Robson's '...
Post a Comment
Read more