Talk thirty to me!
Never ask a lady her age, they say. At a particular age, many refuse to share how old they really are. This year, so many people that I know turned 30. Even famous individuals such as Chris Brown and Misred joined the dirty thirty gang. From my thirty something self, I welcome you all.
Your thirties are a whole different stage of life compared to your twenties and forthcoming forties. Though a tricky age to be, your 30s are a defining decade. They are a reflection of the rest of your life based on the map that you draw.
Being thirty or plus something comes with an evolution to your being. You discover that you are no longer the same person you were at seventeen or twenty five. This means that entering into this decade you have a new point of view!
Don't cry about turning older! These are the five reasons why your 30s are way much better than your 20s.
1. You know what you want
How many of us couldn't wait to sing, "I've got the keys, keys" when they turned 21? I remember watching all my older friends receive an engraved key of life from their parents. Your own 20s meant that you were officially an adult. You could now make your own decisions.
Funny story, I had a baby at 21! Now that deserved a padlock! Honestly, for most, the 20s are an era of trial and error. We make a lot of poor choices in various aspects of life. The lucky few go to college, graduate, get a job and get married. But for the rest of us, 20 was a mixed bowl of confusion, mishaps and sometimes stories to tell our grandkids. The 30s differ because a certain wisdom kicks in. You are less insecure and often pull out the middle finger to what would have made you despair a decade ago. You are a go-getter and when the going gets tough, you wear your thick skin and roll in the trenches. You want to get what you want right now because YOLO. And even if you miss an opportunity, you understand that you can dig a tunnel through that mountain to get to the other side. What you have is the determination and fearless is your middle name and even last name.
2. You are self-assured
CONFIDENCE feels like second nature to you when you hit your thirties. It's like you went to bed 29 and woke up commanding the world like Beyoncé, "bow down!" I haven't really figured out the real secret to this, but I remember when it was quarter to thirty for me, I felt that I could walk in and out of a room according to my terms. I don't know how many times that I have gone for even job interviews where I conduct the interview myself. In my head, I'm like you would be lucky to have me on board, as compared to my 20s where I reeked desperation because I need a paycheck. You just know yourself, your capabilities and believe in your worth.
3. YDGAF
This won't even need a whole paragraph. When you enter the thirties your middle fingers become your badge of honour. Yes I said it! Other people's opinions of you dwindle, and you begin to care more about the internal voices. You also exit when the deal doesn't benefit you that includes jobs, relationships and any other situation. Oh yes, I have turned down and walked out, ain't nobody got time for foolishness and time wasters.
4. You value quality over quantity
Friendships are like a Coca-Cola bottle, as you grow older you know that you will eventually be at the tip. That's some strange analogy about friendships, yet so true. Remember when you were the social butterfly with over 2,000 plus contacts? There was a period when you would be offended if you weren't invited to a certain friend's event, or if they didn't give you a shout out on social media. I remember how I was so involved and up in people's business during my twenties. Oh yes, I took offence to being swerved by so-called friends. Everyone was my friend for one reason or the other. It was during my late 20s, and my healing process, that I began to cut off my social life. I remember just bulldozing the entire friendship aspect, and going into solitude. When I began resurfacing, I chose who to bring into my space. Three things you need to know are; not everybody is your friend, 2. you are a friend to someone but they may not be your friend and 3. it's okay to let go when you have outgrown people. Now that you are thirty, you value quality - what someone brings to the table. All your relationships need to align with your vision. If you are like me, when making purchases or financial investments, I evaluate the quality of the good or service versus the prestige of it. In your 30s you want quality relationships, quality material things and even quality time with yourself.
5. You are focused on growth and legacy
What's up to all the childless, single 30s? How you doin'? Some of us have just completed or almost done with our masters degree. Perhaps you finally made partner at your firm, or even better, opened up your own company. For those of us Speedy Gonzalez with the two, three, or seven children....we are thinking college funds. The 30s are the legacy focus years. If you started early with your 401k then you are planning to retire by 40. If you are like me, my daughter will be 21 by the time that I'm 40 something. What happens then when I have an empty nest? I plan to do me, travel a lot and just live! But what plans am I making towards achieving that goal considering that college tuition will be required? With the hope that you did start in your 20s, the 30s are the bigger picture. You are more grounded and focused on actually leaving a legacy. Personal growth in regards to your body, mind, spirit and finances are important to you. If you are not evolving then what's the purpose?
In your growth you are going to cut off, and cutback on anything or anyone not within your legacy plan, and that includes your will. Your desire for generational wealth is far important as compared to the optics of social media. You want to influence or impact your community, and younger people than yourself.
Dirty thirty also means that you are fully aware of your relationship status. You realise that maybe monogamy isn't for you, you actually don't want children, you come out with your sexuality, or perhaps you are asexual. Whatever your life choices are in the relationship department, noone is bullying you to be what you are not. You are too grown to be lectured about biological clocks, and societal perceptions. You have frozen your eggs, planned for surrogacy, or adoption, or perhaps you will live with your cats.
I decided that maybe kids aren't for me, that the one I have is enough, and I am content. To be honest, I don't see myself doing morning sickness, diapers and sleepless nights after over a decade. Nein, danke! I can actually be in a relationship with a man who isn't eager to have children. I do want a fully committed, monogamous, long-term relationship. When I do buy my house, we are a having a dog, or two despite my allergic rhinitis. My goal is by 35, I am a fully independent, entrepreneur. I want to own, lead and delegate instead of being an employee. That's not my portion! These and many other decisions unwritten were made when I was quarter to thirty. I knew that I wasn't a conventional anything, so why not plan and live outside the box.
But...
We must remember, that even at thirty something, life is still filled with obstacles. Tell God your plans, and realise that sometimes the jokes on you. But even with what seems like cruel jokes, you can still laugh and find a lesson. Your thirties will be great because though you can't party till the a.m. like you used to, you still got it. What will get you through your 30s is the cautious optimism of life beginning at 40 yet living in the moment.
Raise your glasses, let's toast to being thirty, flirty and a little derrty (Christina Aguilera voice)!
Singing, "Tonight, we are young, so let's set this world on fire!"
Leave your imprint during this decade!
Cheers!
P.S. : Always write your own love story!
Ciao!
Lady E
Never ask a lady her age, they say. At a particular age, many refuse to share how old they really are. This year, so many people that I know turned 30. Even famous individuals such as Chris Brown and Misred joined the dirty thirty gang. From my thirty something self, I welcome you all.
Your thirties are a whole different stage of life compared to your twenties and forthcoming forties. Though a tricky age to be, your 30s are a defining decade. They are a reflection of the rest of your life based on the map that you draw.
Being thirty or plus something comes with an evolution to your being. You discover that you are no longer the same person you were at seventeen or twenty five. This means that entering into this decade you have a new point of view!
Don't cry about turning older! These are the five reasons why your 30s are way much better than your 20s.
1. You know what you want
How many of us couldn't wait to sing, "I've got the keys, keys" when they turned 21? I remember watching all my older friends receive an engraved key of life from their parents. Your own 20s meant that you were officially an adult. You could now make your own decisions.
Funny story, I had a baby at 21! Now that deserved a padlock! Honestly, for most, the 20s are an era of trial and error. We make a lot of poor choices in various aspects of life. The lucky few go to college, graduate, get a job and get married. But for the rest of us, 20 was a mixed bowl of confusion, mishaps and sometimes stories to tell our grandkids. The 30s differ because a certain wisdom kicks in. You are less insecure and often pull out the middle finger to what would have made you despair a decade ago. You are a go-getter and when the going gets tough, you wear your thick skin and roll in the trenches. You want to get what you want right now because YOLO. And even if you miss an opportunity, you understand that you can dig a tunnel through that mountain to get to the other side. What you have is the determination and fearless is your middle name and even last name.
2. You are self-assured
CONFIDENCE feels like second nature to you when you hit your thirties. It's like you went to bed 29 and woke up commanding the world like Beyoncé, "bow down!" I haven't really figured out the real secret to this, but I remember when it was quarter to thirty for me, I felt that I could walk in and out of a room according to my terms. I don't know how many times that I have gone for even job interviews where I conduct the interview myself. In my head, I'm like you would be lucky to have me on board, as compared to my 20s where I reeked desperation because I need a paycheck. You just know yourself, your capabilities and believe in your worth.
3. YDGAF
This won't even need a whole paragraph. When you enter the thirties your middle fingers become your badge of honour. Yes I said it! Other people's opinions of you dwindle, and you begin to care more about the internal voices. You also exit when the deal doesn't benefit you that includes jobs, relationships and any other situation. Oh yes, I have turned down and walked out, ain't nobody got time for foolishness and time wasters.
4. You value quality over quantity
Friendships are like a Coca-Cola bottle, as you grow older you know that you will eventually be at the tip. That's some strange analogy about friendships, yet so true. Remember when you were the social butterfly with over 2,000 plus contacts? There was a period when you would be offended if you weren't invited to a certain friend's event, or if they didn't give you a shout out on social media. I remember how I was so involved and up in people's business during my twenties. Oh yes, I took offence to being swerved by so-called friends. Everyone was my friend for one reason or the other. It was during my late 20s, and my healing process, that I began to cut off my social life. I remember just bulldozing the entire friendship aspect, and going into solitude. When I began resurfacing, I chose who to bring into my space. Three things you need to know are; not everybody is your friend, 2. you are a friend to someone but they may not be your friend and 3. it's okay to let go when you have outgrown people. Now that you are thirty, you value quality - what someone brings to the table. All your relationships need to align with your vision. If you are like me, when making purchases or financial investments, I evaluate the quality of the good or service versus the prestige of it. In your 30s you want quality relationships, quality material things and even quality time with yourself.
5. You are focused on growth and legacy
What's up to all the childless, single 30s? How you doin'? Some of us have just completed or almost done with our masters degree. Perhaps you finally made partner at your firm, or even better, opened up your own company. For those of us Speedy Gonzalez with the two, three, or seven children....we are thinking college funds. The 30s are the legacy focus years. If you started early with your 401k then you are planning to retire by 40. If you are like me, my daughter will be 21 by the time that I'm 40 something. What happens then when I have an empty nest? I plan to do me, travel a lot and just live! But what plans am I making towards achieving that goal considering that college tuition will be required? With the hope that you did start in your 20s, the 30s are the bigger picture. You are more grounded and focused on actually leaving a legacy. Personal growth in regards to your body, mind, spirit and finances are important to you. If you are not evolving then what's the purpose?
In your growth you are going to cut off, and cutback on anything or anyone not within your legacy plan, and that includes your will. Your desire for generational wealth is far important as compared to the optics of social media. You want to influence or impact your community, and younger people than yourself.
Dirty thirty also means that you are fully aware of your relationship status. You realise that maybe monogamy isn't for you, you actually don't want children, you come out with your sexuality, or perhaps you are asexual. Whatever your life choices are in the relationship department, noone is bullying you to be what you are not. You are too grown to be lectured about biological clocks, and societal perceptions. You have frozen your eggs, planned for surrogacy, or adoption, or perhaps you will live with your cats.
I decided that maybe kids aren't for me, that the one I have is enough, and I am content. To be honest, I don't see myself doing morning sickness, diapers and sleepless nights after over a decade. Nein, danke! I can actually be in a relationship with a man who isn't eager to have children. I do want a fully committed, monogamous, long-term relationship. When I do buy my house, we are a having a dog, or two despite my allergic rhinitis. My goal is by 35, I am a fully independent, entrepreneur. I want to own, lead and delegate instead of being an employee. That's not my portion! These and many other decisions unwritten were made when I was quarter to thirty. I knew that I wasn't a conventional anything, so why not plan and live outside the box.
But...
We must remember, that even at thirty something, life is still filled with obstacles. Tell God your plans, and realise that sometimes the jokes on you. But even with what seems like cruel jokes, you can still laugh and find a lesson. Your thirties will be great because though you can't party till the a.m. like you used to, you still got it. What will get you through your 30s is the cautious optimism of life beginning at 40 yet living in the moment.
Raise your glasses, let's toast to being thirty, flirty and a little derrty (Christina Aguilera voice)!
Singing, "Tonight, we are young, so let's set this world on fire!"
Leave your imprint during this decade!
Cheers!
P.S. : Always write your own love story!
Ciao!
Lady E
Comments
Post a Comment