Skip to main content

Just Because I'm a Woman

"My mistakes are no worse than yours, just because I'm a woman." - Dolly Parton



I breathe an old soul in my being and I blame it entirely on my daddy. This weekend was rather moody with the grey clouds and my personal melancholy. I was lighting candles and going through old photos as yet again, I remembered my parents' death anniversary.

I truly believed in love stories when my father passed away on the 4th of August 1999. This is five years and a day after my mother's passing. He had followed his love. Over the years, I have fought with God about this robbery. I often question faith. I am not going to get into it on this platform. Today, in remembrance of the two beautiful souls whom I called mum and dad, I recollect memories.

 The Beach 

If I am to wed, the ceremony will be by the beach. When I die, please scatter my ashes by the sea. My next birthday, I am definitely celebrating it in Vilanculos. It's only when I came across photos of my family by  beach did all my choices make sense. I have an attachment to the beach. Living in Senegal, gave me opportunity to play with beach sand and make sand castles. My parents loved the beach so much, you would think we were mermaids. Pun intended! I love the smell of sea water, the sound of the waves and the vastness of the water body.

Dakar, 1988. My mother, myself and our nanny by the beach. [c] 

Dakar, 1991. My father, younger sister, family friend and myself. [c]


Mama the Style Icon

I always look like I don't care about what's on my body. Of late, sweats have become my day, night and anywhere wear. Don't judge me! But when I grow up and get out of this rut, I want to be like my mama. Mama had style! Looking through my mother's photos, she was the Pinterest board before the application ever came to life. She knew how to put clothes together. She had an amazing Afro. She even rocked the wigs and braids like the queen that she was. One of her sisters shared what she said before she passed away that, when the family would give away her clothes (kugovera nhumbi), they must give my older sister the red outfits - all of them. Apparently the red outfits were the expensive ones. I would so wear almost every outfit that my mother wore in the present time. She was so chic! 

Daddy's Music

My daddy was a total coconut! He also loved the United States of America. I believe that he probably would have migrated our family if he had the chance. Part of that love for the US of A, was ingrained in him through graduating from one of the most prestigious HBCUs. (You don't understand my excitement about Beychella last year!) I just thought of my daddy, an HU alumni. 

My father loved music so much! Actually, both my parents loved music. Though not musicians themselves, they filled our home with melodies and dance. My father loved rock & roll and country mostly. I knew every classic band from yesteryear because of my dad. I'm talking Pink Floyd, Black Sabbath, Bruce Springsteen, The Mamas and Papas, and Neil Diamond to name but a few. I became a fan of really old music. However, the soul in me loves the blues, Motown, funk and everything black and soulful! 


My father with his favourite toy in the early 80s. [c]


I recall daddy sitting by the radio, playing some country music. It was Dolly Parton's, 'Just Because I'm a Woman'. My dad sang with every fibre in him as he absorbed every lyric. He then sat me down and schooled me about the song. The topic would have been, 'Don't devalue yourself to double standards.' My father shared the most honest conversations that a man can have with his pre-teen daughter.

The conversation went like this, "One day, I hope to walk you down the aisle and hand you in marriage to your husband. I want you to remain pure until marriage. But to be honest, that might not happen - and if it doesn't, it doesn't make you any less of a woman." As the twang of the country guitars played in the background, my father continued, "You see, men often dishonour women who aren't virgins. They forget that they are the ones responsible for deflowering a young woman's virtue," he paused, "Let no man tell you that you are any less because you are a woman."

Bless, my daddy, he would have been a favourite with the ladies when it comes to pro-women movements. In my adulthood, I repel any male who uses double standard verbatim in conversations. Who are you to disqualify any woman because she doesn't possess the male anatomy? My daddy sang to me, "My mistakes are no worse than yours, just because I'm a woman."

Daddy set a standard!

As a grown woman, I have never let my gender limit me. I continuously work hard for what I want to be. I am creating the table  and seats so that others can find their place. That old country song continuously plays in my mind as a reminder of the advice from my first love.

Memories aren't created by things! They are a result of experiences and feelings.

Make the best of this thing called life. Leave pearls of wisdom. Share your favourite song and dance whilst doing it. And for every free second, spend it with the ones that you love...

...you don't know who might need that memory tomorrow!

P.S. Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E

Comments

Popular Posts

We Aren't that Couple!

We are perfectly imperfect! Bonjour mes armies, comment ça va? Je vais trés bien merci!  Bring your glasses of your favourite poison and let's chat. We are drawing close to that time of the year. I wouldn't let us leave this profound year without a few lessons. It's story time.   It's taken time—actually, years—for he and I to come to this place. We haven't always seen eye-to-eye, yet we find ourselves here. It's actually insane! But time does help with self-discovery. For me, the healing process has put things into perspective. I'm not yet there, but I'm becoming her, and he's willing to see me through it.  What I love about he and I is simply the fact that we aren't that couple. You know those who have to constantly update their Gram or WhatsApp status to validate the strength of their union? Before you come for me, it's "cute," and yes, you and your person should declare your affection for each other. I'm just from the sch...

That's Not My Portion

A man  needs to take responsibility of his own healing and growth... We all have different love stories that we are writing. There is no formula of how we fall in love or love. At times we can’t help whom we fall for although we can choose whether or not to love them. For healthy relationships, we look for a partner who brings out the best in us. A person who is patient with our flaws but doesn’t allow us to get away with bullshit behaviour. We demand and give respect to partners who love themselves enough to show how they will be treated and loved. In turn we take notes from Eleanor “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” There is room for growth in visions and maturity in character. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt” If we have an understanding of ‘love’ why is it that we shortchange ourselves? I decided to end a ‘relationship’ because it didn’t look or feel like a ‘relationship’. It was more of me being ...

Auld Lang Syne ... Maybe Not All the Time

Sometimes the end is a new beginning!  It's a new year! To be more precise, the year of our Lord two thousand and twenty-two. According to the Hebrew calendar the year is 5782.  The crossover into 2022 was particularly dull due to the curfew. When we say that the pandemic is a buzzkill, the sentiment is real. As a staunch believer in the saying, "How you leave is how you enter," I often enjoy spending my time in church. The service prior to the countdown often invigorates my faith. Praying and seeding on the first day of the 365 or 366 is comforting. Unfortunately, the authorities ensured that the gathering of the saints wouldn't happen on their watch. We had to sit and watch the livestream from home. As the new year came, I started to think of the song synonymous with the new year. Auld Lang Syne. Based on the 18th century Scottish song, the words read: Should Old Acquaintance be forgot, and never thought upon; The flames of Love extinguished, and fully past a...

7 Ways to Sage Your Space

Unlearn and burn your inhibitions... We grew up socialised into certain behaviours and beliefs that are sometimes unhealthy for our mental wellbeing. These factors contribute to brokeness, poverty mentality and self loathing. Many of us may experience stunted emotional, spiritual and mental growth due to past experiences and beliefs. But the cycle needs to be broken now. Our generation is privileged to acknowledge the unhealthy patterns in our lives. We have the ability to unlearn mindsets that have prevented us from living our best lives. I have been on my journey to healing for the past four years. The journey to healing and self love isn't an easy one. It does help to realise that there is so much to you than what meets the eye. Your healing begins by spring cleaning your life. It's out with the old, and in with what you carefully choose to enter. This cleaning applies to every aspect of your life. As we go into the second half of the year, let's reevaluate ou...

5 Ways Your 30s Are Better Than the 20s

Talk thirty to me! Never ask a lady her age, they say. At a particular age, many refuse to share how old they really are. This year, so many people that I know turned 30. Even famous individuals such as Chris Brown and Misred joined the dirty thirty gang. From my thirty something self, I welcome you all. Your thirties are a whole different stage of life compared to your twenties and forthcoming forties. Though a tricky age to be, your 30s are a defining decade. They are a reflection of the rest of your life based on the map that you draw. Being thirty or plus something comes with an evolution to your being. You discover that you are no longer the same person you were at seventeen or twenty five. This means that entering into this decade you have a new point of view! Don't cry about turning older! These are the five reasons why your 30s are way much better than your 20s. 1. You know what you want How many of us couldn't wait to sing, "I've got the keys, ...