Hey boys! It's Monday again!
This month isn't about y'all but where would you be without me? One of my male colleagues recently shared that he finds it hard to find a decent woman. I asked him to define 'decent'. In his words, "A girl who's not swimming in the shallow end. She is supportive and well mannered. She is someone that I wouldn't be afraid to introduce to my mother or any of my family. She actually doesn't have to be Instagram hot, just look and smell clean." Oh, my!
This was before a few other guys invaded the conversation and weighed in their thoughts. They all highlighted that there are more fantasy girls than wifey material. One cited that even the so called 'ugly girls' (not my handwriting), are riding on that slay queen, finesse train. They even went in on the church girls, calling them the 'unheathen sluts'. Whoa, that's a bit harsh.
I then posed this question, 'Where are you finding these girls?' I got all sorts of answers including through friends, social media, the club etc. Fair enough, there is no formula for where you meet your life partner. However, I did highlight that these guys were spreading themselves thin. The places and activities that they consider boring, just might be the place to meet Miss decent.
I once read an article titled, 'Places Where to Find Her' in the man's magazine, Maxim. It was witty yet honest and even added the places where you will not find a 'decent' woman. Since I'm your social experiment, I take the liberty to be your tour guide. I picked the places, events that I often find myself. I am very analytical about my surroundings and whom I socialise with, therefore I am your best bet.
Let me be your GPS to 'Mrs. Right' and follow the 10 places to find her.
1. Internet cafe
Having worked in an Internet cafe, I found it to be a great social hub. So many people come in and out. Since the internet is part of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, tons of people will visit a space where there's available WiFi. She's probably a blogger, or a student, or probably waiting for a Skype interview with an international company. The likelihood of this lady being somewhat 'decent' are high because she has a focused 'focus'. I remember meeting a young lady in my workplace who was studying online. She came in almost daily until she attained her diploma. That takes focus and commitment.
2. Book Fairs
You don't need to be educated to read books, you just need curiosity. There is something about a person who reads literature. It indicates that they are inquisitive, imaginative and willing to grow. I know that I like me a man who knows who Ngugi WaThiongo or Oscar Wilde is. Or someone who knows that, 'Who moved my cheese?' is an actual book title and not just banter. The next time the book fair comes to town, or there's a reading somewhere, go there. You might meet a bookworm or better yet, a writer herself.
3. Wine tasting events
Pause! Before you go and judge a woman, calling her a drunk, hear me out. Wine is for the sophisticated. It is a beverage for certain palates that can differentiate the age, smell and taste. A woman attending a wine tasting event is probably into estate, looking to buy a winery or vineyard. She could be a chef, or restaurant owner looking for wines to recommend to clients. Or maybe she's a hostess, or simply a foodie. She knows which cheese and meat to pair with which wine. If you want a lady with that je ne sais quoi, head over to the next wine tasting event.
4. Therapy
You are probably running for the door before you get in, hear me out. You know those fantasy girls with daddy issues that you love so much. You like their crazy but can't deal to offer them a committed relationship! Well, few deal with their issues or even acknowledge that they have them. In actual fact, you might have issues that require therapy. If you are open minded, then you will find Miss 'decent' trying to fix her life. She acknowledges that she has unresolved traumas that need healing. She is willing to work on them so that she can live a happier, productive and fulfilled life. She wants to unpack the baggage so that she can waltz into a relationship, or life, with only a suitcase. There's nothing more attractive than a human being who is accountable for their being. You definitely want to be with someone who is a work in progress with results, of course.
5. Festivals
You want her to be decent but you don't like her beige. Well, have ever gone to a festival? Festivals vary in genre from cultural to music to social gatherings. Most festivals allow ladies especially, to let loose. They enjoy the music, food and crowd whilst mingling with the world. She is unlikely to be uptight and will engage in conversations with just about anybody. I must say that festivals are like a fruit cocktail. So if you are looking for kiwis and not strawberries, you might need to socialise with the ladies more. You might meet the one woman who can have fun, but keep her integrity intact.
6. Supermarket
This won't need a whole summary. Just go to the supermarket, perhaps offer to pay for something at the till. Just make sure that she doesn't have a ring on her finger or looks the part. Have a conversation over which powdered soap works better, or your preference in sugar beans. You never know, you might meet the 'one'.
7. Church
So I visit that place that most of y'all are reluctant to visit. Firstly, a number of you don't really believe in the carpenter's son who fed five thousand with five fish and two loaves. Clearly the fisherman was more hardworking than the baker. But, church is female center, more so a lot of single women go to church. Many are seeking life partners and constantly attending prayers. Here's the deal, you might meet a retired 'brigadier general' of club hopping and the whore life. Please don't judge her, the church is the hospital for the wayward. Now she is sister Angie, whose tongues could bring heaven down and she wears ankle length skirts. All I am saying is that church is a place where you will find her because she is willing to look reformed for that ring-on-it.
8. Networking events
Here is the psychology of a woman attending a networking event: I am likely to meet a businessman, or an accomplished man in his field who might make a decent partner. If that fails, I might get an investor or sponsor for my project. So if you have your shit together, a couple of BAs or BCs, or masters then be the first to register for a seminar or workshop. Make sure to have enough business cards on you, because you will be giving out your number a lot.
9. Wedding
Beyoncé's 'Single Ladies' is the national anthem for all bouquet throwing sports at weddings. From the bridal team to guests, you will find single women. They will be both green-eyed and mushy watching the bride say, 'I do!' You might not like playing dress up but a wedding is your best bet, to finding your potential 'Mrs. Right'. Just fact check first that you aren't third cousins once removed.
10. Funeral
Psychologists say that grieving or experiencing a traumatic event brings people closer together. I am not suggesting that you become a professional funeral attendee. You might be at a friend's or relative's funeral, and you meet a mourner paying their respects. There's always those funeral attendees who are either dressed OTT, or doing too much, like running around. Believe me you will notice them. Cease the moment of grief, and comfort or find comfort with a lady who shares your grief. Ask to stay in touch after the burial, or to check in on them. That will be an interesting story to tell your grandchildren.
BONUS:
Fuel or gas queue
Y'all know that I had to add the struggle venue. Fuel queues are now the place to hangout for anything and maybe everything. Gas queues are also a great place to mingle. Clearly if she's in the queue, then she's somewhat responsible and is realistic about the situation on the ground. Now I don't know how you are going to woo her, but you can use your imagination.
And there you have it, places to increase your odds of what you are looking for. Again, I don't have a formula for these things. You could be at all ten places and fail to meet that amazing woman - blame the universe. I just gave you my point of view!
Now off you go and take on this social experiment. Who knows we might have a success story.
P.S. Always write your own love story!
Ciao!
Lady E
This month isn't about y'all but where would you be without me? One of my male colleagues recently shared that he finds it hard to find a decent woman. I asked him to define 'decent'. In his words, "A girl who's not swimming in the shallow end. She is supportive and well mannered. She is someone that I wouldn't be afraid to introduce to my mother or any of my family. She actually doesn't have to be Instagram hot, just look and smell clean." Oh, my!
This was before a few other guys invaded the conversation and weighed in their thoughts. They all highlighted that there are more fantasy girls than wifey material. One cited that even the so called 'ugly girls' (not my handwriting), are riding on that slay queen, finesse train. They even went in on the church girls, calling them the 'unheathen sluts'. Whoa, that's a bit harsh.
I then posed this question, 'Where are you finding these girls?' I got all sorts of answers including through friends, social media, the club etc. Fair enough, there is no formula for where you meet your life partner. However, I did highlight that these guys were spreading themselves thin. The places and activities that they consider boring, just might be the place to meet Miss decent.
I once read an article titled, 'Places Where to Find Her' in the man's magazine, Maxim. It was witty yet honest and even added the places where you will not find a 'decent' woman. Since I'm your social experiment, I take the liberty to be your tour guide. I picked the places, events that I often find myself. I am very analytical about my surroundings and whom I socialise with, therefore I am your best bet.
Let me be your GPS to 'Mrs. Right' and follow the 10 places to find her.
1. Internet cafe
Having worked in an Internet cafe, I found it to be a great social hub. So many people come in and out. Since the internet is part of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, tons of people will visit a space where there's available WiFi. She's probably a blogger, or a student, or probably waiting for a Skype interview with an international company. The likelihood of this lady being somewhat 'decent' are high because she has a focused 'focus'. I remember meeting a young lady in my workplace who was studying online. She came in almost daily until she attained her diploma. That takes focus and commitment.
2. Book Fairs
You don't need to be educated to read books, you just need curiosity. There is something about a person who reads literature. It indicates that they are inquisitive, imaginative and willing to grow. I know that I like me a man who knows who Ngugi WaThiongo or Oscar Wilde is. Or someone who knows that, 'Who moved my cheese?' is an actual book title and not just banter. The next time the book fair comes to town, or there's a reading somewhere, go there. You might meet a bookworm or better yet, a writer herself.
3. Wine tasting events
Pause! Before you go and judge a woman, calling her a drunk, hear me out. Wine is for the sophisticated. It is a beverage for certain palates that can differentiate the age, smell and taste. A woman attending a wine tasting event is probably into estate, looking to buy a winery or vineyard. She could be a chef, or restaurant owner looking for wines to recommend to clients. Or maybe she's a hostess, or simply a foodie. She knows which cheese and meat to pair with which wine. If you want a lady with that je ne sais quoi, head over to the next wine tasting event.
4. Therapy
You are probably running for the door before you get in, hear me out. You know those fantasy girls with daddy issues that you love so much. You like their crazy but can't deal to offer them a committed relationship! Well, few deal with their issues or even acknowledge that they have them. In actual fact, you might have issues that require therapy. If you are open minded, then you will find Miss 'decent' trying to fix her life. She acknowledges that she has unresolved traumas that need healing. She is willing to work on them so that she can live a happier, productive and fulfilled life. She wants to unpack the baggage so that she can waltz into a relationship, or life, with only a suitcase. There's nothing more attractive than a human being who is accountable for their being. You definitely want to be with someone who is a work in progress with results, of course.
5. Festivals
You want her to be decent but you don't like her beige. Well, have ever gone to a festival? Festivals vary in genre from cultural to music to social gatherings. Most festivals allow ladies especially, to let loose. They enjoy the music, food and crowd whilst mingling with the world. She is unlikely to be uptight and will engage in conversations with just about anybody. I must say that festivals are like a fruit cocktail. So if you are looking for kiwis and not strawberries, you might need to socialise with the ladies more. You might meet the one woman who can have fun, but keep her integrity intact.
6. Supermarket
This won't need a whole summary. Just go to the supermarket, perhaps offer to pay for something at the till. Just make sure that she doesn't have a ring on her finger or looks the part. Have a conversation over which powdered soap works better, or your preference in sugar beans. You never know, you might meet the 'one'.
7. Church
So I visit that place that most of y'all are reluctant to visit. Firstly, a number of you don't really believe in the carpenter's son who fed five thousand with five fish and two loaves. Clearly the fisherman was more hardworking than the baker. But, church is female center, more so a lot of single women go to church. Many are seeking life partners and constantly attending prayers. Here's the deal, you might meet a retired 'brigadier general' of club hopping and the whore life. Please don't judge her, the church is the hospital for the wayward. Now she is sister Angie, whose tongues could bring heaven down and she wears ankle length skirts. All I am saying is that church is a place where you will find her because she is willing to look reformed for that ring-on-it.
8. Networking events
Here is the psychology of a woman attending a networking event: I am likely to meet a businessman, or an accomplished man in his field who might make a decent partner. If that fails, I might get an investor or sponsor for my project. So if you have your shit together, a couple of BAs or BCs, or masters then be the first to register for a seminar or workshop. Make sure to have enough business cards on you, because you will be giving out your number a lot.
9. Wedding
Beyoncé's 'Single Ladies' is the national anthem for all bouquet throwing sports at weddings. From the bridal team to guests, you will find single women. They will be both green-eyed and mushy watching the bride say, 'I do!' You might not like playing dress up but a wedding is your best bet, to finding your potential 'Mrs. Right'. Just fact check first that you aren't third cousins once removed.
10. Funeral
Psychologists say that grieving or experiencing a traumatic event brings people closer together. I am not suggesting that you become a professional funeral attendee. You might be at a friend's or relative's funeral, and you meet a mourner paying their respects. There's always those funeral attendees who are either dressed OTT, or doing too much, like running around. Believe me you will notice them. Cease the moment of grief, and comfort or find comfort with a lady who shares your grief. Ask to stay in touch after the burial, or to check in on them. That will be an interesting story to tell your grandchildren.
BONUS:
Fuel or gas queue
Y'all know that I had to add the struggle venue. Fuel queues are now the place to hangout for anything and maybe everything. Gas queues are also a great place to mingle. Clearly if she's in the queue, then she's somewhat responsible and is realistic about the situation on the ground. Now I don't know how you are going to woo her, but you can use your imagination.
And there you have it, places to increase your odds of what you are looking for. Again, I don't have a formula for these things. You could be at all ten places and fail to meet that amazing woman - blame the universe. I just gave you my point of view!
Now off you go and take on this social experiment. Who knows we might have a success story.
P.S. Always write your own love story!
Ciao!
Lady E
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