Skip to main content

Womb Politics and Vaginal Governance

Can my reproductive system just catch a break!


Expecting couple


Batho! Bothata ba hau ke bofe! Hello single ladies, how are you? I'm fine and making slow progress. It's still progress!

Gather around quickly with your glasses of wine. My gosh, please allow me to be slightly dramatic! There's no drama though. I just thought that I should be dramatic (a little bit).

My young co-workers decided to discuss my uterus functions this morning. The conversation started like this, "When are you giving your daughter another sibling?" I was taken aback by this question. I responded, "When I have a husband." I added that if it happened within the next two years.

Can my reproductive system just catch a break!

My other co-worker stated that that's too far. She said, "Don't you have a boyfriend or someone who could just give you a baby?" OMG! That's all I could say. These young ladies were literally dictating what I should do with my womb.

I did then say that I have one 'man' with whom I would have a child. Genesis! I pointed out his flattering qualities as well as the fact that he has great genes. About ten years ago, I made a promise to myself that if I didn't find a husband, I would request for Genesis to sire my next child. I've never had this conversation with him. I'm not too sure about his reaction if he ever knew about this 'plot'.

And no, I didn't imagine us together. While he's on my 'ideals' list, I've outgrown him. It's been like what 16, 17 years since we left high school. Clearly, my taste (even at it's poorest) shows that Genesis and I are in different spheres. He's only ideal on paper and by the virtue that I have never vilified him. Perceptions assist in perfection.

Still, he has great genes! He is a beautiful specimen of a black man. I wouldn't mind my next offspring inheriting his facial features, good skin, and height. Plus his ancestors seem to be kind to him - he doesn't seem to fall under any sort of curse. You know those familiar spirits of poverty, destruction, and general bad luck. Genesis is successful in his field, he is outgoing and very likable. 

So with a portfolio like that why haven't I procreated with this fine male specimen? We go back to the fact that I hate my womb being dictated to. Plus I don't want any more children. Mainly due to the fact that I believe that children belong within the institution of a union. Marriage! This union incorporates an agreed premise of stability, unity, and legacy. I am not for baby mama culture. I also don't subscribe to having a flock of children out of wedlock. 

My young coworkers are still young. They are in the ideal phase. They dream of having many babies with that ideal man. And that's where they are coming from for me. They say that they love how I talk about my daughter. I speak with pride, and every time that I'm doing something for my child, they are moved. They just believe that I should have another child. The other lady is obsessed with twins. I offer a side-eye, because I'm not 'team-up-all-night-with-twins'. One baby at a time is enough. Again, if and when I decide to be broody, I will take my first and only choice - Genesis to sire my next offspring. Most of me hope that it doesn't have to get to that. 

I still have two years, let's wait and see...

Don't be seduced by the idea of things versus the reality of it...

...always pick reality....it's more sustainable!

Don't be seduced by the idea of things versus the reality of it.


Until the next time...

...click those heels, keep those nails on fleek, and those baby hairs sleek!

A prochaine fois...

P.S.: Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E


Comments

Popular Posts

Before We Lay

“Every father bears a fundamental obligation to do right by their children,” - Barack Obama With the hype and quotes around Michelle Obama’s book, ‘Becoming’, Barack seems to be the ‘ideal man’. Of course he is only human and bound to err, but for purposes of this discussion, his quotes are a point of reference. We live in an age of great access to information whether negative or positive. We are also in a space for more conversation about sexual liberation. In a previous post, I shared about the modern woman owning her sexuality. And I still stand firmly by that stance, because ownership of one’s sexuality also reflects upon other areas of their life. That point was also touched on, when I discussed about celibacy. The point is that we are in charge of what mostly happens in our lives based on our ‘choices’. Part of choice is being responsible and accountable. Responsibility isn’t fun to be honest but it’s necessary especially for maturity. In other parts of our liv...

Like A Love Song

The best ever written love song isn't perfect but it works! 'I,I love you like a love song baby,I,I love you like a love song,babe.....',young Selena Gomez singing,and vocalising what we would all take love as...a LOVE song. The love song. Women can only dream about being loved the way Gerald Levert put it,'made to love you', or have 'this love' a la Donell Jones. And I'm not talking about the exaggerated 'catching of grenades','crossing oceans',drinking of lovers' bath waters.But a love that leaves one gasping for air as they try to breathe in,a love that gives one warm fuzzy feelings inside.A love that also stands the test of time,and conquers all. But is the impression we are given by love songs similar to real relationships?Would a man not want to be 'mad' like Ne-yo, or beg you to 'stay' like Tyrese? Some may agree,whilst others would be at the other end of the pole. In the mean time men might find Beyonc...

Bottom of the Barrel

I know that I have dug at the bottom of the barrel....     ...because my very own coochie ain't got respect. I laugh amiably at the Instagram page The Kouncil. I relate that for most of the time I am the combination of the lady parts and heart... dumb! Now don't get it twisted, my IQ is pretty high it's frightening.  I'm word smart....that's my actual intelligence type. Now you go Google the nine intelligence types. These are your cognizance resonance that will make you look at your parents with the WTF did y'all put me through. Anyway, my HBCU graduate father was highly aware of intelligence. He saw me as the creative intellectual. He expected me to be Paula Abdul or Prince, or Stevie Wonder compared to the African intellectual stereotype of being a doctor. In my creativity I have painted, performed, written, and published most of my creative work. I pride myself as a wordsmith, in addition to having an eye for aesthetic visuals and an ear for music. While I am...

Trends

Trends 'That is like so last year!',if I hear that statement one more time,I'm going to slap somebody.(sic!).It is an interesting human condition though,to conform.(More like mental enslavement). If one is not doing,or thinking,or behaving the way the mass population is,then they are 'uncool','weird',or 'backward'(so 2000 and late).It seems that the human race spends most of their lifetime trying to clone themselves into the other 7billion people on this planet. I used to be one of those people,until I realised that no matter what I do,I will never fit in or be like everyone.(Which I am now okay with,for as long as I make my mark on the world). Trends.Fashion,music,lifestyle,politics,technology,everything has a trend.Remember how there were records,then tapes,then cds,now you can get all your music on your ipod,or memory card. With hairdos,there was the afro,then jerry curl,(MJ rocked that one best),braids,then guys either tinted their hair...

Script My Life: Jane the Virgin Season Finale

Every telenovela has to come to an end... ...but with a happy ending! *Warning spoiler alert!* Mios dios! I dramatically cried as Jane and Rafael were enjoying the sunset on their wedding day. Jane  explains the ending of her novel, which is turned into a telenovela. And the typewriter writes, 'THE END'. I now understand my friend's sadness over the finale of this cheesy, yet addictive television series. I have always been a fan of soap operas. I religiously watched South African soapies during my nursing school days. And then when I became a stay-at-home mum, I added the American and Phillipino soapies to the list. When DSTv then introduced a channel for Spanish soapies known as novelas, I was gone. The thing with novelas or telenovelas, is that they amplify the usual soapie drama. The male characters are sexy even as villains and the female characters are over the top. Unlike a soapie like Days of Our Lives or Generations, telenovelas have a time frame. Like w...