Finding love shouldn’t be a duty but it should be a journey that you enjoy the ride while you get to it...
I don’t remember when was the last time I related to a number of female characters in one movie. I finally watched Lifetime movie ‘Love By the 10th Date’. The trailer to the movie, written and directed by Nzingha Stewart, enticed me for a good chick flick...about women of colour.
The all star cast includes the gorgeous Kelly Rowland, Meagan Good, Keri Hilson and Kellee Smith. We also see Cat Deely, Joshua T Jackson, Andra Fuller and UnReal’s Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman. The story line follows a group of young, successful black friends who work for a high end, digital magazine Nina. The protagonist is Gabrielle Fateful a.k.a Gabby played by Meagan Good. Gabby is a graphic designer at Nina whose love life is an actual struggle.
The scene that kickstarts the plot of the movie is when Gabby goes out for dinner with friends and workmates, Margot (Kelly Rowland), Billie (Keri Hilson) and Nell (Kellee Stewart). Joshua T Jackson plays Dante, Gabby’s neighbor and colleague. The group of friends discuss relationships. Margot is celibate, Billie is in a happy, open marriage, Nell is mingling, Dante is being a guy and Gabby wants love.
“Maureen shares that men only fall in love after the 10th date. “
Nell shares the article written by Nina editor in chief, Maureen played by Deely. The article discusses where women fail during the dating phase. Maureen shares that men only fall in love after the 10th date. Each character shares their relationship experience including the fact that they have been on more than 10 dates with the same person. Margot highlights the importance of having an emotional condom during dating. The conversation leads to Gabby challenging herself to go on a date with the same man ten times.
As crazy as the idea sounds, her friends come through to support. Margot even encourages Gabby to pitch the challenge as an article to Maureen and get paid for it. Maureen offers Gabby $5,000 for going on 10 dates with the same person for 60 days. Challenge accepted.
While Gabby is navigating her own love life, each of her friends also go through their own experiences. Margot Scotts, is uncomfortable with interviewing controversial reggae musician Big Stunna. He challenges her life of celibacy. Nell meets and falls in love with a bisexual man, Freddy whom she’s totally feeling but can’t help feeling slightly insecure about.
Smart, sexy and confident Billie is in open marriage but her husband reveals that there are limitations. Kevin highlights that he wouldn’t participate in a threesome that includes another man. Dante is going through his player life but highlights to Gabby that he’s not ready yet for ‘the one’.
As the movie goes, Gabby goes on several dates including a preacher who preaches in strip clubs (played by Flex Alexander), a guy who likes showing nudes of his junk and a guy who likes to wear superhero suits. After embarrassing videos and photos of Gabby’s lady bits went viral online, she has a pity party. Dante comes through to cheer her up and the two end up kissing. Gabby’s ex, former pro footballer, Chris Kellerman (Andra Fuller), comes back into her life and seems to be meeting her 10 dates agenda. Unfortunately this doesn’t go down well with Dante who actually has feelings for Gabby.
Nell who is both naughty and nice, meets Freddy who is bisexual. The two hit it off and bond over Luther Vandross’ ‘Thousand Kisses’. They actually shag on the first day but seem to have continuous dates. However, after an incidence at Chris’s club opening, Nell has reservations about Freddy’s sexuality. This leads to a brief break up after Freddy proclaims his love for Nell.
Billie’s open marriage comes to bite her as she comes home and catches Kevin having sex with the receptionist from her workplace. Kevin breaks the rule that none of the partners should have sex with someone the other one knows...in this case, the receptionist.
Margot jumps to conclusions when she shows up at Stunna’s birthday. She sees a stripper gyrating on him and ends up hurt. Big Stunna comes by the Nina office where he confronts her. He highlights that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt her on purpose. Margot then apologizes and patches things up.
On their 9th date, Chris tells Gabby that they will never be in a committed relationship. Gabby goes bat shit crazy and slashes his cushions with a kitchen knife. Nell patches things up with Freddy after she stands in front of his apartment singing Luther. She asks him to marry her to which he says yes. Billie maturely breaks up with Kevin as both realize that their marriage was a lie. Dante moves to the new Nina offices in Chicago to head the graphic department.
At Nell and Freddy’s engagement party, Margot officially introduces Big Stunna as her ‘man’. Dante shows up making Gabby realise that he was always her ‘Martin’. Dante admits his feelings for Gabby and the two kiss.
Chris abruptly shows up with an engagement ring which made me say “WTF”, but we know that a sequel is on the way...
Yes, it’s a romcom and very cheesy! But I see a lot of myself in Gabby and Margot. My journey has been inspired by the need to have a mature, stable relationship with just one human being. Like Margot, after a bad situation, I chose a life of celibacy. What I learnt from Billie is to be bold however if you are not ready to settle down with one person, don’t commit yourself to marriage. Nell shows us that we need to take risks and go after what we want. Nell’s story also shows that love doesn’t always come packaged in the way that we have been socialized. As Freddy said, he has sex with someone that he has a connection with. In other words, it’s about the connection.
Gabby’s failures in relationships, actually simply dating reflect upon my own. But, I have learnt to take every failure as a lesson and grow. Every mistake and poor choice has helped reveal my own insecurities and even issues. This has opened opportunities to deal with those issues head on and begin the healing process.
The whole movie shows that ‘love has no formula’. The most important thing is not about looking for romantic love but appreciating love as it comes. Big Stunna told Margot that someone in her life loved her even if it wasn’t romantic.
It’s not about getting to the 10th date...it’s about enjoying the journey to the 11th...
P.S. : Always write your own love story.
Lady E
Ciao!
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