Skip to main content

3 Things Learnt In January Via www.com

Bienvenue à la nouvelle année!


To all those who survived the month of January, its infamous ‘disease’, and all that comes with a New Year, I salute you all as you fought bravely and now we begin the month of February, which is a new month, meaning new beginnings. So there’s a common saying that goes, ’How you start is how you finish’ and to add onto that statement, the pastor at the church that I attend often says, ‘How you leave is how you enter’, so pertaining to the year 2017, what’s the forecast? Well, for those who managed to utilise the unlimited Wi-Fi data provided by Zol during their holiday promotion or just use regular mobile data (well, after the slight ‘disruption’ due to data increases), managed to keep their fingers on the pulse of the streets of the World Wide Web, and they definitely can map out 2017’s direction. Actually the month of January made me realise that the acronym ‘IRL’ (in real life) should probably cease to exist in the urban dictionary because when you think of it, most people’s lives (both private and public) are all lived out on social media, like how many of us had nothing better to do than watch to watch ‘king of Snapchat’, DJ Khaled’s son being born on Snapchat, right? Well that’s another discussion for another day but I hope that the point about humanity’s complete reliance on the internet has been driven home. Well, so much happened in so little time however there three things that I believe we all learnt even in our subconscious on the internet that make the 21st century human being even more interesting especially in this particular year.

1. Revenge is best served on Facebook


Note to the ladies; forget about busting the windows of his car (if he has one), or throwing out his clothes and property, or going to his workplace and causing a scene, if your man acts a fool and you want him to come correct, take it to Facebook with a video. That was the case in the early days of January 2017, when social media erupted with the ‘Stulinda’ (Stunner and Olinda) drama in what would make a good audition video for the Love and Hip Hop casting. Taking our minds off the fact that 2016’s problems were not over, with long bank queues and school fees waiting to be paid in addition to being broke after a low key festive season, a distraught Olinda took to Facebook in an almost thirty minute or so video sharing her disgruntlement with her husband, rapper Stunner, only to post a long letter  apologising to the public about her reaction and airing the couple’s supposedly ‘private’ issues; plus Stunner posting on Snapchat that he had apologised to mama (Nigerian accent) and all was well in the Chapel-Chideme household. Some people may have complained but definitely not those of us who need to fill up the entertainment news sections of our blogs plus the ‘Stulinda’ story gave popular media personality Ruvheneko Parirenyatwa an entry point for her show which was hosted live on…wait a minute…Facebook, yes! Like the fine journalist she is known to be, Ruvhi pushed all angles so as to help answer the public’s burning questions about ‘Stulinda’ and kudos to her for that Oprah moment when Stunner cried, because it’s a well-known fact that only Oprah Winfrey makes grown men cry, and we can’t wait for more moments with Ruvheneko Parirenyatwa. Please note that this wasn’t the first or last time that celebrity or famous couples put out their relationship issues on social media for the public’s attention however this particular incidence had even old folks buying bundles to watch how everything would play out like a telenova on Telemundo or Zee World. It has also taken revenge to a whole new level and certainly a point of reference for many to come because as I’m typing this, popular dancer Bev has a video that’s been doing the rounds on social media where she says that she too, will chastise Andy Muridzo (alleged baby daddy), like Stunner. Oh, well, that’s another fresh story fit to be tabloid fodder, but the lesson from the first week of January is that, the internet is making the world a bigger platform to deal with relationship issues and with Facebook live streaming, we can only imagine how much dirty laundry will be literally aired.

2. Data is Life


Ever watched a scene in a movie when someone is fighting for their life and they are on life support then the doctors give a devastating prognosis that forces loved ones to pull the plug? Well, in legal and medical terms it’s called ‘euthanasia’ but it wasn’t mercy for most of us when in the second week of January, people woke up to what used to be $1 for 250MB for daily internet bundles had turned into 30MB on a dollar for a day. I remember literally waking up to buy data and then going back to bed again just to make sure that I was still asleep and that it was just a nightmare but alas, it was a death sentence. You see, in a country where unemployment levels are high and everybody has become a hustler, some of us rely mostly on the internet hustle which has somewhat created employment for a number of young people who are in tune with technology and the internet. Acknowledging the issue of liquidity many of us have come to rely on purchasing mobile internet data bundles which allows us to work or research and learn from any place where Wi-Fi (need I add free, or having an access code) might not be available, so when POTRAZ and certain mobile networks announced that data would be increased most of us felt the plug being pulled when we still wanted to live. After the trending #DataMustFall campaign and backlash, the minister of Information Communication Technology, Postal and Courier Services was forced to reverse the directive and mobile data returned to ‘normal’ with the mobile network operators making public apologies and now people are alive again with the sequel hashtag, #DataHasFallen. The lesson learnt here is that though Zimbabwe might be a third world country and still lag behind in a number of areas, when it comes to information and technology especially the use of the internet and social media, we are pretty much living almost at par with our first world counterparts. Like food, water and shelter, the internet joins Maslow’s hierarchy of needs for the ordinary Zimbabwean and pretty much most human beings on the planet. The internet has become the source of life like the sun is to a plant, because we learn, we socialise, we teach and share and most of all live on the internet.

3. Memes matter


The above is not a pun or an insult to movements that are pushing to make the world a better place, but for most that have been following the US presidential elections, they may understand the statement after the inauguration of the 45th president of the United States of America, Donald J Trump. Ever since the announcement of the results of the presidential elect last year November, there’s been a lot of discourse in the United States whilst the rest of the world still waits for Trump’s foreign policies and how these will affect foreign affairs and trade. The highlight of the Trump inauguration wasn’t even about the commander in chief himself, his inauguration speech or what his wife Melania wore but the facial expressions by former first lady, Michelle Obama. The internet broke as Mrs Obama brought out the girl from the Southside of Chicago, as she didn’t smile at any moment of the processions; she had according to the Daily Show host, Trevor Noah, the ‘hell naw!’ facial expressions which pretty much summed up how most Americans felt. The memes that followed were absolutely hilarious reminding all of us that FLOTUS, Michelle Obama will always be the coolest first lady in the world because no matter what mood she’s in or causes she’s fighting for, she had that trending factor. And thanks to Donald Trump’s administration the statement ‘alternative facts’ or ‘subjective facts’ means that individuals can get away with pretty much anything because ’facts’ can now be other facts and that’s an ‘alternative fact’!

January 2017 has proven that our existence as human beings is no longer based on mere verbal communication and we might as well forget about pen and paper as the keyboard o keypad are the mouthpieces for various groups of people and social media is like going back to high school only in virtual reality which has become our reality. YouTube will soon replace television, podcasts and streaming sites taking over radio’s space, while the world becomes a much smaller and even closer community. In 2017, data must be affordable, the hashtags must continue with tangible results and yes because our lives are now rarely IRL, every Facebook post, live stream, tweet, or Instagram photo must be put out responsibly, respectfully and with the intention of leaving an impactful digital footprint even if it’s just for fun!

P.S.: Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E

Comments

Popular Posts

The Red Season: Breadcrumbs of Love

No matter how broken you are, a meal of love is what you need. For the first time in a long time, I will admit on this platform, I will admit that I cried. I felt humiliated and hurt. Mariah Carey's "Cry" is playing in my head. I keep asking myself why am I this person? Why do I keep scraping for crumbs of love? Am I not enough? And following a recent disappointment, I reverted to a quote that I saw on a certain blog. "You could have the best intentions, you could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be a good woman and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man because the only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you,"  Sipho Mbhele. "You could have the best intentions, you could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be a good woman and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man because the only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you,"  Sipho Mbhele. Gosh, I'm tired of this circus. The fact

5 Inexpensive Dates in a Bad Economy

If he's making the economy an excuse, swipe left.... A guy who makes too many excuses whilst pursuing you is not worth your time. He will make excuses for not making time for you. More so, for not taking you on a date. A real man makes a plan...all the time! Yes, the economy is atrocious...a complete nightmare! Does that mean that humanity stops? Y'all,  we have procreation to continue until the end of time. A season of a recession, shouldn't hinder dates, relationships and the whole nine yards that come with that package. Couples over centuries overcame obstacles such as family feuds, classism, racism, tribalism, religious differences etc. They all found a way around those challenges. Any guy who uses 'in this economy' as an excuse is dropped like a pin. Honestly, such an individual lacks ambition and creativity. I want the flowers, chocolate, and the date. Otherwise...skrrr! You will have to show innovation in your pursuit. If you can't be strategic w

Script My Life: The Greatest Roles

Cheers to a new month, new season and more scripts... I really need new flicks to watch! I will admit that I haven't caught up with the late 2018 and early 2019 movies. But I know that after this blog post, y'all will hook me up. XOXO in advance! We are in the month of August! The second month in the second half of the year! A happy birthday to all the Leos and Virgos! Some of the greats were born this month including my beautiful daughter, Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston. August babies are strong willed and have leadership bred in them. They are just a forceful lot! In the Shona language, August is ' Nyamavhuvhu ' which loosely translated means 'windy'. August babies aren't gentle breezes, they are the tornados and hurricanes; but we love them still! The month itself on this side of the hemisphere is windy! But the wind comes to somewhat renew and pave way for the brief spring season (in Africa, of course!) Wrapping up July, and starting o

The Writings On The Wall

Thou shall move onto the next! And then 'If You Leave' by Destiny's Child and Next starts to play. Gosh, 'The Writings on the Wall' remains my favourite Destiny's Child album, ever. The concept of the '10 commandments' of relationships. Brilliant!  Bonjour, mes amies! Comment ça va? Ça va bien! (Caribbean accent) Your gyal ,  moi , has been experiencing epiphanies. And a few disappointments, but life is too sweet to be upset. Lick your ice cream and have sweet red wine! I travelled through the blogosphere for inspiration for our topic today. Ironically, I also had a discussion with an acquaintance about a similar topic. There's nothing that I love more than people who brag about their intelligence. Oh, my! People pride themselves on their levels of education, often equating it to intelligence. We assess our value based on having degrees, master's degrees, and doctorates. If only those worked in relationships. I think of David Robson's 'W

Chocolate!

Oogling and drooling as I lust after the delicious,yummy chocolate abs of...gush...Trey Songz in a music video. My male friends look at me as if I'm some perverted male...maybe I am. Sadly as a woman such men are just a mirage in a desert full of pot bellied men.Yes,I said it!I believe I speak on behalf of my sisters,who have been termed 'overambitious',and having high standards in the looks department.We would love to see more abs and less flab. Why our brothers keep mount Everests of flesh I fail to understand.Worse still,men boobs that could hold shares in a dairy company. Who would blame me.I become a pervert because Usher's six-pack makes me want to eat of it,or I'm actually envious of Generations' Queen Moroka having 'Muscle man' Lungile,hold her in his arms.Yes,guilty as charged! What my brothers should understand is most women already have stuffed toys,a new addition in the form of a man is not adorable.A little working out w