Skip to main content

3 Things Learnt In January Via www.com

Bienvenue à la nouvelle année!


To all those who survived the month of January, its infamous ‘disease’, and all that comes with a New Year, I salute you all as you fought bravely and now we begin the month of February, which is a new month, meaning new beginnings. So there’s a common saying that goes, ’How you start is how you finish’ and to add onto that statement, the pastor at the church that I attend often says, ‘How you leave is how you enter’, so pertaining to the year 2017, what’s the forecast? Well, for those who managed to utilise the unlimited Wi-Fi data provided by Zol during their holiday promotion or just use regular mobile data (well, after the slight ‘disruption’ due to data increases), managed to keep their fingers on the pulse of the streets of the World Wide Web, and they definitely can map out 2017’s direction. Actually the month of January made me realise that the acronym ‘IRL’ (in real life) should probably cease to exist in the urban dictionary because when you think of it, most people’s lives (both private and public) are all lived out on social media, like how many of us had nothing better to do than watch to watch ‘king of Snapchat’, DJ Khaled’s son being born on Snapchat, right? Well that’s another discussion for another day but I hope that the point about humanity’s complete reliance on the internet has been driven home. Well, so much happened in so little time however there three things that I believe we all learnt even in our subconscious on the internet that make the 21st century human being even more interesting especially in this particular year.

1. Revenge is best served on Facebook


Note to the ladies; forget about busting the windows of his car (if he has one), or throwing out his clothes and property, or going to his workplace and causing a scene, if your man acts a fool and you want him to come correct, take it to Facebook with a video. That was the case in the early days of January 2017, when social media erupted with the ‘Stulinda’ (Stunner and Olinda) drama in what would make a good audition video for the Love and Hip Hop casting. Taking our minds off the fact that 2016’s problems were not over, with long bank queues and school fees waiting to be paid in addition to being broke after a low key festive season, a distraught Olinda took to Facebook in an almost thirty minute or so video sharing her disgruntlement with her husband, rapper Stunner, only to post a long letter  apologising to the public about her reaction and airing the couple’s supposedly ‘private’ issues; plus Stunner posting on Snapchat that he had apologised to mama (Nigerian accent) and all was well in the Chapel-Chideme household. Some people may have complained but definitely not those of us who need to fill up the entertainment news sections of our blogs plus the ‘Stulinda’ story gave popular media personality Ruvheneko Parirenyatwa an entry point for her show which was hosted live on…wait a minute…Facebook, yes! Like the fine journalist she is known to be, Ruvhi pushed all angles so as to help answer the public’s burning questions about ‘Stulinda’ and kudos to her for that Oprah moment when Stunner cried, because it’s a well-known fact that only Oprah Winfrey makes grown men cry, and we can’t wait for more moments with Ruvheneko Parirenyatwa. Please note that this wasn’t the first or last time that celebrity or famous couples put out their relationship issues on social media for the public’s attention however this particular incidence had even old folks buying bundles to watch how everything would play out like a telenova on Telemundo or Zee World. It has also taken revenge to a whole new level and certainly a point of reference for many to come because as I’m typing this, popular dancer Bev has a video that’s been doing the rounds on social media where she says that she too, will chastise Andy Muridzo (alleged baby daddy), like Stunner. Oh, well, that’s another fresh story fit to be tabloid fodder, but the lesson from the first week of January is that, the internet is making the world a bigger platform to deal with relationship issues and with Facebook live streaming, we can only imagine how much dirty laundry will be literally aired.

2. Data is Life


Ever watched a scene in a movie when someone is fighting for their life and they are on life support then the doctors give a devastating prognosis that forces loved ones to pull the plug? Well, in legal and medical terms it’s called ‘euthanasia’ but it wasn’t mercy for most of us when in the second week of January, people woke up to what used to be $1 for 250MB for daily internet bundles had turned into 30MB on a dollar for a day. I remember literally waking up to buy data and then going back to bed again just to make sure that I was still asleep and that it was just a nightmare but alas, it was a death sentence. You see, in a country where unemployment levels are high and everybody has become a hustler, some of us rely mostly on the internet hustle which has somewhat created employment for a number of young people who are in tune with technology and the internet. Acknowledging the issue of liquidity many of us have come to rely on purchasing mobile internet data bundles which allows us to work or research and learn from any place where Wi-Fi (need I add free, or having an access code) might not be available, so when POTRAZ and certain mobile networks announced that data would be increased most of us felt the plug being pulled when we still wanted to live. After the trending #DataMustFall campaign and backlash, the minister of Information Communication Technology, Postal and Courier Services was forced to reverse the directive and mobile data returned to ‘normal’ with the mobile network operators making public apologies and now people are alive again with the sequel hashtag, #DataHasFallen. The lesson learnt here is that though Zimbabwe might be a third world country and still lag behind in a number of areas, when it comes to information and technology especially the use of the internet and social media, we are pretty much living almost at par with our first world counterparts. Like food, water and shelter, the internet joins Maslow’s hierarchy of needs for the ordinary Zimbabwean and pretty much most human beings on the planet. The internet has become the source of life like the sun is to a plant, because we learn, we socialise, we teach and share and most of all live on the internet.

3. Memes matter


The above is not a pun or an insult to movements that are pushing to make the world a better place, but for most that have been following the US presidential elections, they may understand the statement after the inauguration of the 45th president of the United States of America, Donald J Trump. Ever since the announcement of the results of the presidential elect last year November, there’s been a lot of discourse in the United States whilst the rest of the world still waits for Trump’s foreign policies and how these will affect foreign affairs and trade. The highlight of the Trump inauguration wasn’t even about the commander in chief himself, his inauguration speech or what his wife Melania wore but the facial expressions by former first lady, Michelle Obama. The internet broke as Mrs Obama brought out the girl from the Southside of Chicago, as she didn’t smile at any moment of the processions; she had according to the Daily Show host, Trevor Noah, the ‘hell naw!’ facial expressions which pretty much summed up how most Americans felt. The memes that followed were absolutely hilarious reminding all of us that FLOTUS, Michelle Obama will always be the coolest first lady in the world because no matter what mood she’s in or causes she’s fighting for, she had that trending factor. And thanks to Donald Trump’s administration the statement ‘alternative facts’ or ‘subjective facts’ means that individuals can get away with pretty much anything because ’facts’ can now be other facts and that’s an ‘alternative fact’!

January 2017 has proven that our existence as human beings is no longer based on mere verbal communication and we might as well forget about pen and paper as the keyboard o keypad are the mouthpieces for various groups of people and social media is like going back to high school only in virtual reality which has become our reality. YouTube will soon replace television, podcasts and streaming sites taking over radio’s space, while the world becomes a much smaller and even closer community. In 2017, data must be affordable, the hashtags must continue with tangible results and yes because our lives are now rarely IRL, every Facebook post, live stream, tweet, or Instagram photo must be put out responsibly, respectfully and with the intention of leaving an impactful digital footprint even if it’s just for fun!

P.S.: Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E

Comments

Popular Posts

Inspired By A Thread

Colour blind is ignorance when all you see is red... ...learn your colours! Oi, you lovely lot! Whaddup, 'ow's it goin'? I’m gettin’ there, innit? Just takin’ me time, you know how it is. A while ago, I scrolled down my timeline, and I came across an interesting thread on X. Actually the responses were wild, but it had me thinking, I would love my readers to share their own experiences. The question was as follows; What was the craziest thing that you've done to investigate a man? Fam, the responses in this thread are worthy of scripts. Don't play with a woman who wants the truth. She has better investigative skills than any intelligence agency. This led me - actually inspired me to share my own personal experiences. My life is so ironical. I like keeping my relationships on the low because my ego can't handle the humiliation if things don't work out. However, drama seems to ensue whenever I decide to allow a male into my space. Of late, I realised that I ...

When The Door Shuts But There's No Closure

Let this be the last time that I am stupid in love! To quote Bob Marley, 'The biggest coward of a man, is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her.' No intentions are still intentions and usually cruel intentions. I'm a bitter woman. I'm mad as hell. How did I let that ugly mother****er make me look stupid? Little did I know that I was just setting myself up to feeling dumb and dumber. I'm a clown! So I took the step and reached out to him to get closure. I needed to gather my thoughts and emotions so that I could speak to him calmly. Parce que IRL, I'm on that Lemonade Beyoncé woman scorned level. The initial call that I made, he blew me off. So I took defeat. However, he called back an hour later and the conversation came. My biggest question was 'Why?'. Why pursue me when you already had someone else whom you wanted to give what I myself wanted. Marriage! What was your intention and outcome from all this? I reiterate that I...

It's Your Own Race, Stay In Your Lane

You might miss out on enjoying what's around you because you're rushing to the infinite finish line! I'm exhausted at this moment! Some days I kick myself for having missed opportunities due to pride or naïvety. At times I suffer from FOMO like the rest of our generation as I scroll down my Instagram timeline. I think my LinkedIn makes me feel worse, as I fall short on qualifications. But as I write this, I know that I'm not where I used to be. I worked damn hard - walking, getting sunburnt, looking disheveled, sleepless nights, and no social life. I'm nowhere near halfway to where I really want to be, but the pandemic has taught me to 'count it all joy.' So why do I continuously feel the pressure 'to be'? Tu ne comprends pas la question? It seems that everywhere I go, people are suffering from the “hustle culture” pandemic. By hustle culture, I mean the collective urge we currently seem to feel as a society to work harder, stronger, faster.(Then Daf...

Are You Miss Bare Minimum?

You are worth the ICE! Intention. Commitment. Effort. Y'all, this is my proof of life. It's been a minute. It's been a tumultuous season, and I guess that I'm not the only one. I am glad though, that I am here to pour out and into you. You've always understood me. And then P!nk's 'Mizunderstood' becomes a backtrack to this conversation. But that's a conversation for another day. A nous allez! Bonjour, bonjour mes amies! Comment allez-vous? I'm taking it one day at a time. Picture this: you’re on a date, and instead of engaging in conversation, your date is glued to his phone, replying to texts that are definitely not from you. Or maybe he’s the ‘textationship’ king, flooding your screen with emojis but never making time for an actual face-to-face meeting. Now this is a good one, he's the convenience pro who gets to see you and spend time with you within his vicinity, and not outside his capacity. Now what do we call that *taps head thinking*...

Script My Life: Star

I bring me! I have my certain qualms with director Lee Daniels but I'm absolutely in love with his musical dramas. I quickly jumped onto the Empire bandwagon because of Timbaland's productions and of course, the cast. I love me some Terrence Howard and Taraji P. Henson. But in the midst of the whole Empire craze, I initially missed out on another Lee Daniels' production - Star. The two shows have found themselves crossing over with Queen Latifah's character, Carlotta guest appearing in an episode of Empire, and Jussie Smollet's Jamal appearing in Star. Both shows ran at the same time but I didn't take much interest throughout season one of Star. Come season 2, I decided to give this show a chance. First of all, me thinks, why haven't I watched the series that starred Lenny Kravitz, Naomi Campbell and Benjamin Bratt? Anyway, the storyline picks up from the life of two half sisters and a legendary musician's daughter who form a group and pursue a ...