Skip to main content

3 Things Learnt In January Via www.com

Bienvenue à la nouvelle année!


To all those who survived the month of January, its infamous ‘disease’, and all that comes with a New Year, I salute you all as you fought bravely and now we begin the month of February, which is a new month, meaning new beginnings. So there’s a common saying that goes, ’How you start is how you finish’ and to add onto that statement, the pastor at the church that I attend often says, ‘How you leave is how you enter’, so pertaining to the year 2017, what’s the forecast? Well, for those who managed to utilise the unlimited Wi-Fi data provided by Zol during their holiday promotion or just use regular mobile data (well, after the slight ‘disruption’ due to data increases), managed to keep their fingers on the pulse of the streets of the World Wide Web, and they definitely can map out 2017’s direction. Actually the month of January made me realise that the acronym ‘IRL’ (in real life) should probably cease to exist in the urban dictionary because when you think of it, most people’s lives (both private and public) are all lived out on social media, like how many of us had nothing better to do than watch to watch ‘king of Snapchat’, DJ Khaled’s son being born on Snapchat, right? Well that’s another discussion for another day but I hope that the point about humanity’s complete reliance on the internet has been driven home. Well, so much happened in so little time however there three things that I believe we all learnt even in our subconscious on the internet that make the 21st century human being even more interesting especially in this particular year.

1. Revenge is best served on Facebook


Note to the ladies; forget about busting the windows of his car (if he has one), or throwing out his clothes and property, or going to his workplace and causing a scene, if your man acts a fool and you want him to come correct, take it to Facebook with a video. That was the case in the early days of January 2017, when social media erupted with the ‘Stulinda’ (Stunner and Olinda) drama in what would make a good audition video for the Love and Hip Hop casting. Taking our minds off the fact that 2016’s problems were not over, with long bank queues and school fees waiting to be paid in addition to being broke after a low key festive season, a distraught Olinda took to Facebook in an almost thirty minute or so video sharing her disgruntlement with her husband, rapper Stunner, only to post a long letter  apologising to the public about her reaction and airing the couple’s supposedly ‘private’ issues; plus Stunner posting on Snapchat that he had apologised to mama (Nigerian accent) and all was well in the Chapel-Chideme household. Some people may have complained but definitely not those of us who need to fill up the entertainment news sections of our blogs plus the ‘Stulinda’ story gave popular media personality Ruvheneko Parirenyatwa an entry point for her show which was hosted live on…wait a minute…Facebook, yes! Like the fine journalist she is known to be, Ruvhi pushed all angles so as to help answer the public’s burning questions about ‘Stulinda’ and kudos to her for that Oprah moment when Stunner cried, because it’s a well-known fact that only Oprah Winfrey makes grown men cry, and we can’t wait for more moments with Ruvheneko Parirenyatwa. Please note that this wasn’t the first or last time that celebrity or famous couples put out their relationship issues on social media for the public’s attention however this particular incidence had even old folks buying bundles to watch how everything would play out like a telenova on Telemundo or Zee World. It has also taken revenge to a whole new level and certainly a point of reference for many to come because as I’m typing this, popular dancer Bev has a video that’s been doing the rounds on social media where she says that she too, will chastise Andy Muridzo (alleged baby daddy), like Stunner. Oh, well, that’s another fresh story fit to be tabloid fodder, but the lesson from the first week of January is that, the internet is making the world a bigger platform to deal with relationship issues and with Facebook live streaming, we can only imagine how much dirty laundry will be literally aired.

2. Data is Life


Ever watched a scene in a movie when someone is fighting for their life and they are on life support then the doctors give a devastating prognosis that forces loved ones to pull the plug? Well, in legal and medical terms it’s called ‘euthanasia’ but it wasn’t mercy for most of us when in the second week of January, people woke up to what used to be $1 for 250MB for daily internet bundles had turned into 30MB on a dollar for a day. I remember literally waking up to buy data and then going back to bed again just to make sure that I was still asleep and that it was just a nightmare but alas, it was a death sentence. You see, in a country where unemployment levels are high and everybody has become a hustler, some of us rely mostly on the internet hustle which has somewhat created employment for a number of young people who are in tune with technology and the internet. Acknowledging the issue of liquidity many of us have come to rely on purchasing mobile internet data bundles which allows us to work or research and learn from any place where Wi-Fi (need I add free, or having an access code) might not be available, so when POTRAZ and certain mobile networks announced that data would be increased most of us felt the plug being pulled when we still wanted to live. After the trending #DataMustFall campaign and backlash, the minister of Information Communication Technology, Postal and Courier Services was forced to reverse the directive and mobile data returned to ‘normal’ with the mobile network operators making public apologies and now people are alive again with the sequel hashtag, #DataHasFallen. The lesson learnt here is that though Zimbabwe might be a third world country and still lag behind in a number of areas, when it comes to information and technology especially the use of the internet and social media, we are pretty much living almost at par with our first world counterparts. Like food, water and shelter, the internet joins Maslow’s hierarchy of needs for the ordinary Zimbabwean and pretty much most human beings on the planet. The internet has become the source of life like the sun is to a plant, because we learn, we socialise, we teach and share and most of all live on the internet.

3. Memes matter


The above is not a pun or an insult to movements that are pushing to make the world a better place, but for most that have been following the US presidential elections, they may understand the statement after the inauguration of the 45th president of the United States of America, Donald J Trump. Ever since the announcement of the results of the presidential elect last year November, there’s been a lot of discourse in the United States whilst the rest of the world still waits for Trump’s foreign policies and how these will affect foreign affairs and trade. The highlight of the Trump inauguration wasn’t even about the commander in chief himself, his inauguration speech or what his wife Melania wore but the facial expressions by former first lady, Michelle Obama. The internet broke as Mrs Obama brought out the girl from the Southside of Chicago, as she didn’t smile at any moment of the processions; she had according to the Daily Show host, Trevor Noah, the ‘hell naw!’ facial expressions which pretty much summed up how most Americans felt. The memes that followed were absolutely hilarious reminding all of us that FLOTUS, Michelle Obama will always be the coolest first lady in the world because no matter what mood she’s in or causes she’s fighting for, she had that trending factor. And thanks to Donald Trump’s administration the statement ‘alternative facts’ or ‘subjective facts’ means that individuals can get away with pretty much anything because ’facts’ can now be other facts and that’s an ‘alternative fact’!

January 2017 has proven that our existence as human beings is no longer based on mere verbal communication and we might as well forget about pen and paper as the keyboard o keypad are the mouthpieces for various groups of people and social media is like going back to high school only in virtual reality which has become our reality. YouTube will soon replace television, podcasts and streaming sites taking over radio’s space, while the world becomes a much smaller and even closer community. In 2017, data must be affordable, the hashtags must continue with tangible results and yes because our lives are now rarely IRL, every Facebook post, live stream, tweet, or Instagram photo must be put out responsibly, respectfully and with the intention of leaving an impactful digital footprint even if it’s just for fun!

P.S.: Always write your own love story!

Ciao!

Lady E

Comments

Popular Posts

Single ladies: Wife material

MPV.....my point of view! Single Ladies: Wifen Material *Royal wave*Hey single ladies,your guide is back.The pursuit for Mr Put-A-Ring-On-It is on.Today I would like to make you a get-a-ring-on-it lady. Now following my articles,'Single Ladies Part 3',where I talked about the prince searching for a 'real princess',or 'Queen';and 'Brown Sugar',where the word 'brown sugar' was defined as wifen material,I would like to talk about 'wifey material'.(Whether we are that). How do we single ladies get that ring-on-it,you ask?By being wifey material.My uncle keeps on telling me,'If you want to become Mrs X,you should be a wife.You are a wife before he puts a ring on it'.What he means is that,a man will treat you the way you portray yourself.How,you ask? Ever noticed the difference between a wife and a girlfriend.Now let me break it down for you.A girlfriend usually,takes life in a more leisurely way;unlike a wife,whose focus is mo...

The Red Season: Breadcrumbs of Love

No matter how broken you are, a meal of love is what you need. For the first time in a long time, I will admit on this platform, I will admit that I cried. I felt humiliated and hurt. Mariah Carey's "Cry" is playing in my head. I keep asking myself why am I this person? Why do I keep scraping for crumbs of love? Am I not enough? And following a recent disappointment, I reverted to a quote that I saw on a certain blog. "You could have the best intentions, you could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be a good woman and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man because the only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you,"  Sipho Mbhele. "You could have the best intentions, you could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be a good woman and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man because the only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you,"  Sipho Mbhele. Gosh, I'm tired of this circus. The fact...

I Am Not Her

If I'm not the one that you want, then maybe I'll be the one you need.     But if you prioritize your wants, then I'm not her. Hello single ladies, BeyoncĂ© wave! How are you? I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Nothing that a glass of wine and a shoulder to cry on won't fix. My blogs of late are ticking some people off. But you know what, I'm not about to censor myself for anybody. Have you met me? My face on it's own doesn't do PC very well. A nous allez!  So let's call this one basket of mine Clay. The other day Clay and I were having a conversation. He mentioned that of late I'm cold and distant. In addition I'm not the woman that he thought I was. Oh my! In my head I was like, " Wena stop thoughting and start thinking!" I then asked what has changed his perception. After an hour or so of the long list of complaints, I then asked, "What now?" I didn't feel like explaining myself. Actually I don't owe him an ex...

Like A Love Song

The best ever written love song isn't perfect but it works! 'I,I love you like a love song baby,I,I love you like a love song,babe.....',young Selena Gomez singing,and vocalising what we would all take love as...a LOVE song. The love song. Women can only dream about being loved the way Gerald Levert put it,'made to love you', or have 'this love' a la Donell Jones. And I'm not talking about the exaggerated 'catching of grenades','crossing oceans',drinking of lovers' bath waters.But a love that leaves one gasping for air as they try to breathe in,a love that gives one warm fuzzy feelings inside.A love that also stands the test of time,and conquers all. But is the impression we are given by love songs similar to real relationships?Would a man not want to be 'mad' like Ne-yo, or beg you to 'stay' like Tyrese? Some may agree,whilst others would be at the other end of the pole. In the mean time men might find Beyonc...

When The Going Gets Tough

Lack is the mother of hustle and innovation! I have just finished doing my own hair. I spent the whole winter without a protective hairstyle for my natural hair. My hair is damaged (mainly due to stress), and mismanagement because I have run out of product. Haven't afforded a hairdresser in a while. Yes, it's been a rough couple of months. During the last church service, I went for prayer and counselling. The lady praying for me, said, "You look like a go-getter to me!" Haven't really felt like that of late, but I have in the past, made a dollar out of fifteen cents. I remember sharing a testimony with a former manager. I told her about how I entered the employment field three and half years after giving birth. My first job was as a sales person for a new product on the market. I had no previous qualifications in sales or marketing but I had the zeal. Though I and the rest of the employees got screwed over, I held onto the CEO's words. He said to us dur...