Welcome to the dirty laundry diaries where I shame the name and not name shame…but if the shoe fits…lace that shoe up!
The Tar Baby versus Yellow Bone Syndrome
In the first edition of the dirty laundry diaries, I would like to deal with a rather unkempt, so-called, R&B singer, who by the way annoys the heck out of me and his self-esteem issues. I’m no saint in the issues of esteem but this child, yes child, attempts to be an adult, yet he barely knows what adulthood is, or manhood for that fact, except through the ‘douchebag’ gang he hangs out with.
So this child is a representation of some of the things that I'm not fond of people of my race, (yes, I am black myself), and their inferiority complexes. This child ‘be-gods’- make deity of another mortal; raise another human being to the position of God, the Creator of the Universe; and believe me, (in a Kardashian voice), “It’s so annoying”.
Let's call him Toz (short for tozotaura 'we will speak') with the yellow bone syndrome. Disclaimer, I will be purposely using the derogatory terms “tar baby” and “yellow bone” to express my point of view on the complexes of African people and people of colour with those of lighter skin tones. The use of these words does not reflect my own personal beliefs or views. As a black, Afican woman, I stand to uphold the beauty and nuance of the diversity of people of colour, particularly Africans.
The Tar Baby versus Yellow Bone Syndrome
In the first edition of the dirty laundry diaries, I would like to deal with a rather unkempt, so-called, R&B singer, who by the way annoys the heck out of me and his self-esteem issues. I’m no saint in the issues of esteem but this child, yes child, attempts to be an adult, yet he barely knows what adulthood is, or manhood for that fact, except through the ‘douchebag’ gang he hangs out with.
So this child is a representation of some of the things that I'm not fond of people of my race, (yes, I am black myself), and their inferiority complexes. This child ‘be-gods’- make deity of another mortal; raise another human being to the position of God, the Creator of the Universe; and believe me, (in a Kardashian voice), “It’s so annoying”.
Let's call him Toz (short for tozotaura 'we will speak') with the yellow bone syndrome. Disclaimer, I will be purposely using the derogatory terms “tar baby” and “yellow bone” to express my point of view on the complexes of African people and people of colour with those of lighter skin tones. The use of these words does not reflect my own personal beliefs or views. As a black, Afican woman, I stand to uphold the beauty and nuance of the diversity of people of colour, particularly Africans.
Now back to our conversation. This boy is as dark as night, (without the moon and the stars) and the fact that he doesn’t bath, (in terms of grooming per se), makes it even worse. Did I mention that he talks too much, (yet another candidate who can out-talk me in a ‘talking-marathon’. Though in his early twenties, most of his views sound like they are coming from a juvenile …who is spoilt and directionless.
Anyway for the purpose of this discussion he serves as a good case study. As a woman of colour, I still have no idea what is the fascination by African men with light skinned women, a.k.a, yellow bones. And this child begods not only women, but anybody of ‘yellowness’ as superior, and that they can do no wrong. (I say this rolling my eyes with great annoyance because the child blabs of this certain yellow-boned radio presenter’s so-called flawless beauty or lighter skinned rappers lyrical skills…err, forgive him for thinking that 2pac is a what you gain after a gym work-out, or Wu Tang is a Canadian rapper’s song *smh*).
So Toz, has an obsession with light skinned women and will think that anything yellow is hot. That works because the sun is yellow, or is it golden, but is the ‘heat’ a good hot, or hyperbolism of the true essence of having anything ‘yellow’ bringing joy, light and productivity. I talk about this because recently I bumped into a young man who was unrecognizable because he moved from ‘being an ebony' baby to yellow bone, oh yes, he admitted to bleaching his skin. But who does that? Are we as a race so colonized and enslaved that we are afraid of our skin? Are we so blinded by the ambition to become ‘white’ that for as long as we are ebony black we do not believe that we can become anything great.
Unfortunately our African-American celebrities are enslaved to that notion and even if they deny it, we can tell that that they are more “whitenicious” than when they were “pon de replay”, or being “destiny’s child” or dancing “1,2, step”. It’s sad! Yes, in Africa, central Africa and Southern Africa especially, it seems to have the highest consumers of lightening/bleaching creams because we all want to look like ‘people on TV’. It was such a relief to find that an Oscar winning, Kenyan sister gave a speech on beauty and the importance of accepting and loving thyself-but for how long will she be of that notion until the “industry” demands of her to be yellower, or whiter so as to be more appealing to the Caucasian audience?
I personally have been labeled yellow, yet I spent a larger portion of my life as an ‘ugly’, dark skinned, female, due to a skin problem I once had, also it didn’t help that I didn’t have African features (the curvy ‘booty’, etc.), or behave or think like an ‘African’ which brought ridicule upon myself and I was constantly comparing myself to peers who were lighter skinned and considered as ‘pretty’, or ‘hot’.
Anyway for the purpose of this discussion he serves as a good case study. As a woman of colour, I still have no idea what is the fascination by African men with light skinned women, a.k.a, yellow bones. And this child begods not only women, but anybody of ‘yellowness’ as superior, and that they can do no wrong. (I say this rolling my eyes with great annoyance because the child blabs of this certain yellow-boned radio presenter’s so-called flawless beauty or lighter skinned rappers lyrical skills…err, forgive him for thinking that 2pac is a what you gain after a gym work-out, or Wu Tang is a Canadian rapper’s song *smh*).
It’s pretty irritating when a woman’s beauty is measured by how light skinned she is, but then again, the yellow bones can be the equivalent of Caucasian women who are blonde. (Oh yes, the ‘blonde stereotype also works very, well with yellow bones…in all aspects).
So Toz, has an obsession with light skinned women and will think that anything yellow is hot. That works because the sun is yellow, or is it golden, but is the ‘heat’ a good hot, or hyperbolism of the true essence of having anything ‘yellow’ bringing joy, light and productivity. I talk about this because recently I bumped into a young man who was unrecognizable because he moved from ‘being an ebony' baby to yellow bone, oh yes, he admitted to bleaching his skin. But who does that? Are we as a race so colonized and enslaved that we are afraid of our skin? Are we so blinded by the ambition to become ‘white’ that for as long as we are ebony black we do not believe that we can become anything great.
Unfortunately our African-American celebrities are enslaved to that notion and even if they deny it, we can tell that that they are more “whitenicious” than when they were “pon de replay”, or being “destiny’s child” or dancing “1,2, step”. It’s sad! Yes, in Africa, central Africa and Southern Africa especially, it seems to have the highest consumers of lightening/bleaching creams because we all want to look like ‘people on TV’. It was such a relief to find that an Oscar winning, Kenyan sister gave a speech on beauty and the importance of accepting and loving thyself-but for how long will she be of that notion until the “industry” demands of her to be yellower, or whiter so as to be more appealing to the Caucasian audience?
I personally have been labeled yellow, yet I spent a larger portion of my life as an ‘ugly’, dark skinned, female, due to a skin problem I once had, also it didn’t help that I didn’t have African features (the curvy ‘booty’, etc.), or behave or think like an ‘African’ which brought ridicule upon myself and I was constantly comparing myself to peers who were lighter skinned and considered as ‘pretty’, or ‘hot’.
I guess despite being “dark & ugly”, having been exposed to other races and cultures, now I am the least intimidated by any skin shade. To me we are all human beings, actually, now more than ever I carry the arrogance and pride of having my skin colour, being cultured, being a child of God and being open-mindedly educated. Yellow is not beautiful, neither is red, mocha, brown, or white; there is no need to put people on pedal stools for things they had no talent in creating. Like really, nobody sat in their mothers’ wombs and said to themselves, “When I join the world I will be the most superior being with flawlessness. Black people, Africans need to move away from the “tar baby” mentality whereby we judge beauty, talent or anything noteworthy, or praise worthy by the shade of someone’s skin and discriminate those we assume inferior. Individuals should never get away with mediocrity because they are yellow, or even white.
Toz believes that yellow is the best and he is always annoyingly putting himself and other less lighter-skinned individuals down because they are not ‘bright’ enough. Of course the world is racist and let us not try to pretend that it’s non-existent, but if we, especially black people are constantly bringing each other down in a black versus black war, then we will always remain in that war. I have chosen not to be labeled as a yellow-bone; I find it very offensive as if one has used the n-word on me-NATIVE! Call me by my name. Describe me by my qualities - mainly intellectual and talent rather than your assumption of what’s ‘attractive’ in your perspective.
It is a mindset! I wish that with all the brutality I give this kid, it would be eye-opening to not only him, but to the whole African race that we need to love ourselves, respect ourselves, in any state that we were born whether you are Nguni light skinned, Central and West African dark skinned, East African mixed, North African Arab, or even Albino; there is more to us than the dead layer that houses our minds and souls because as far as history indicates, the ‘Motherland’ was an empire par excellence with its various‘ progressive’ civilizations.
Think HUMAN! Not ‘tar baby with yellow bone’ syndrome.
P.S.: Always write your own love story.
Ciao!
Lady E
Toz believes that yellow is the best and he is always annoyingly putting himself and other less lighter-skinned individuals down because they are not ‘bright’ enough. Of course the world is racist and let us not try to pretend that it’s non-existent, but if we, especially black people are constantly bringing each other down in a black versus black war, then we will always remain in that war. I have chosen not to be labeled as a yellow-bone; I find it very offensive as if one has used the n-word on me-NATIVE! Call me by my name. Describe me by my qualities - mainly intellectual and talent rather than your assumption of what’s ‘attractive’ in your perspective.
It is a mindset! I wish that with all the brutality I give this kid, it would be eye-opening to not only him, but to the whole African race that we need to love ourselves, respect ourselves, in any state that we were born whether you are Nguni light skinned, Central and West African dark skinned, East African mixed, North African Arab, or even Albino; there is more to us than the dead layer that houses our minds and souls because as far as history indicates, the ‘Motherland’ was an empire par excellence with its various‘ progressive’ civilizations.
Think HUMAN! Not ‘tar baby with yellow bone’ syndrome.
P.S.: Always write your own love story.
Ciao!
Lady E
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