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Showing posts from November, 2018

The Look of Love

I appreciate Roberta Flack and Peabo Bryson’s ‘Looking Like Love’... “Oh,oh, you’re looking like love to me.” By now, at my age, I should be a connoisseur of what ‘love’ looks like, feels like and should be. In actual fact, I should be happily in love and over the moon, yet I'm not. At times, through my journey, I have returned to my shell. I am sure at other times, I’m absolutely confused like an adolescent whose hormones are raging whilst still trying to figure themselves out.  I am a fan of Roxette’s ‘If Must Have Been Love’. Apart from executing it well, vocally, I relate to it lyrically. A while back, using my poetic ‘ego’, I wrote a poem titled, ‘It Looked Like Love, But It Wasn’t’. I was actually listening to Roxette when I wrote the poem. One day I would love to perform it in front of a crowd that would probably connect to it. “ And as I keep on playing Roxette,    I'm reminded of how I thought that you were heaven sent   Sent to ...

It’s the Little Things

November is the prelude to the year end, so why not count the things to be grateful for... These days my sister will always be blasting Janet Manyowa’s ‘Grateful’ album. It’s remarkable how timely the album is despite our current challenges in the country. While Americans begin the festive season with ‘Thanksgiving’, I decided to also partake in my own small way. The past few weeks have been tumultuous to say the least. But this thanksgiving I decided to appreciate the least yet best of what I have. A friend of mine shared that ‘a lot can happen in a year’. Initially I didn’t believe him because for a long time I circled around the same place the Israelites in the desert for 40 years. But this year, my fortune changed in all aspects of my life. I was challenged to level up, step out and even grow.  A lot has happened in one year to the extent I have forgotten some things. What I have come to appreciate are the people who have been part of my journey. Gosh, tears f...

That's Not My Portion

A man  needs to take responsibility of his own healing and growth... We all have different love stories that we are writing. There is no formula of how we fall in love or love. At times we can’t help whom we fall for although we can choose whether or not to love them. For healthy relationships, we look for a partner who brings out the best in us. A person who is patient with our flaws but doesn’t allow us to get away with bullshit behaviour. We demand and give respect to partners who love themselves enough to show how they will be treated and loved. In turn we take notes from Eleanor “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” There is room for growth in visions and maturity in character. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt” If we have an understanding of ‘love’ why is it that we shortchange ourselves? I decided to end a ‘relationship’ because it didn’t look or feel like a ‘relationship’. It was more of me being ...

Before We Lay

“Every father bears a fundamental obligation to do right by their children,” - Barack Obama With the hype and quotes around Michelle Obama’s book, ‘Becoming’, Barack seems to be the ‘ideal man’. Of course he is only human and bound to err, but for purposes of this discussion, his quotes are a point of reference. We live in an age of great access to information whether negative or positive. We are also in a space for more conversation about sexual liberation. In a previous post, I shared about the modern woman owning her sexuality. And I still stand firmly by that stance, because ownership of one’s sexuality also reflects upon other areas of their life. That point was also touched on, when I discussed about celibacy. The point is that we are in charge of what mostly happens in our lives based on our ‘choices’. Part of choice is being responsible and accountable. Responsibility isn’t fun to be honest but it’s necessary especially for maturity. In other parts of our liv...

Dirty Laundry Diaries: Getting Back Into the Groove

Being sexually liberated and being in the moment comes from going outside your head. How does one live in the moment when they are plagued with an ounce of insecurity? There are things that challenge our confidence in things we hope to be masters of. One of these areas happens to be ‘sex’. The discussion about sexual prowess is a very difficult and uncomfortable topic for most. Like who reviews their performance post coitus? Should the sheepish grin or orgasmic face on your partner’s face be the gauge? In an age where, especially women, are being encouraged to own their sexuality, there is still that gap in ‘satisfaction’. While in Africa the emphasis still remains on pleasing a man, the more modern woman chooses to enjoy her own pleasure. We are owning our sexuality from sex toys to whom we choose to have sex with. However liberated sexuality is considered to some extent, not feminine, at times foreign and mostly immoral. But when it comes to sexual pleasure we act...

Dirty Laundry Diaries: Secret Lovers

You then come to a place that you want to be more than a hush... Am I the only one who feels like buffing with the obnoxious ‘couple goals’ on social media. There is a certain amount of posts as a couple that should be deemed illegal. And no, it’s not jealousy, relationships should have a level of being personal.  "If I like you, I will not follow you on social media and neither should you.  " I have been one of those people who seeks to keep their relationships private. In actual fact I have a social media policy with whomever I date...let’s not follow each other. If I like you, I will not follow you on social media and neither should you. There’s something about people’s social media persona that I find unattractive. I would rather base my attraction to the person that I’m seeing on IRL activities. "Navigate the relationship through your own perceptions and not what your friends or society dictates." I’m also a believer in keeping th...